Mad Sexism - Rant thread

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

A male friend of mine always wanted children, but it had to be a son. His lady last week had a baby, a daughter. And all he talks about is how he doesn't have a son. This friend also repeatedly tried to tell me that sexism does not exist in the workplace or in society. That women DO have it equal to men. (Like men get catcalled on the street, or have their asses grabbed by strangers on the subway) Yet his perfect daughter with 10 toes and 10 fingers and no development issues is not as good as a son. Thankfully this conversation is happening over fb messenger and not in person, otherwise I would have clawed his eyes out by now.

That's all. Rant over.

Can we use this as a sidebar to discuss how those of with girls are going arm them to step out into this world where men are considered more 'worthy'? (And yes, it is getting better for the ladies, but sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back)

DH and I are Team Green, but I'm hoping for a girl. But I am honestly at a loss as to how to combat the type of thinking that my friend is displaying. How can i tell her she is worth just as much as boy when society is telling her otherwise?

kej0004 · February 2015

The reason I never thought I was worth any less than a boy was because my mom is a badass that doesn't take shit from anyone at any time. She is an electrical engineer that works for the Navy...so basically she has worked around almost exclusively men for her entire career and she definitely prepared me for the same situation (I'm a chemical engineer, work at a chemical plant). She has no qualms about taking charge of situations and speaking up when nobody else will. Growing up with her taught me that even the biggest, burliest dude can have fear in his eyes when he sees my little 5 foot, 100 lb mama comin' at him with fire in her eyes.

So, I guess the way I'm planning on preparing any daughters I have to step out into the still male dominated world is just to be an example for them. And make sure they spend a lot of time with their grandmother.

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

You, and your mom are BADASS. I ❤ you. If Ewok is a girl I'm planning on leading by example, I just wish I worked in a male oriented field like you both do to make the example even more potent. Rock on, ladies

kej0004 · February 2015

@mellymar - You don't have to work in a male dominated field for that at all! Most of the times I saw my mom's awesomeness was in day-to-day activities--like dealing with utility companies or car dealerships, as ridiculous as that sounds. The water and sewer system workers in our area know her by name because they totally wrecked our backyard when I was little and my mom sued the pants off of them.

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

All of that, I can do. But thanks to both you and your mom for being engineers and leading the way for all our daughters.

thelittlestbee · February 2015

I have never considered men to be more "worthy". I think that has a lot to do with my own upbringing. My mom taught me from a young age never to depend on a man and to always be independent. There was a strong emphasis on education and hard work in our house. My mother has been infinitely more successful than my father and has accomplished more in her life than most people can ever dream of. She is truly the most amazing role model.

That being said, I must be a reverse sexist because I've always thought men were inferior to women. Maybe it's because we have powerful intuition or because we are the vessels from which human life enters this world. Who knows?

All I know is that I plan to encourage my daughter to do well in school, be independent, and always believe in herself. Most importantly, she needs to know that she will never need to depend on a man for anything. She will never be less worthy than any man (or woman for that matter), and I'm going to make sure she knows that.

edited for spelling

KaLikeAWind · February 2015

genepoolperfect said:

mellymar said:

Can we use this as a sidebar to discuss how those of with girls are going arm them to step out into this world where men are considered more 'worthy'? (And yes, it is getting better for the ladies, but sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward and 1 step back)

DH and I are Team Green, but I'm hoping for a girl. But I am honestly at a loss as to how to combat the type of thinking that my friend is displaying. How can i tell her she is worth just as much as boy when society is telling her otherwise?

from genepoolperfect
"if you're team green, I think it's a little sexist to be asking how to empower your girls, and not discuss how to teach a prospective son to respect women. There are two sides to this coin, and the issues aren't going to get resolved by only looking at the female half. "

That too. Absolutely. I guess I am more in the thought of our own media works against girls, while media aimed towards boys is kind of a mixed bag. Maybe I'm just noticing it as much cause the girl stuff pisses me off more, and what presses your buttons is where you keep your attention. But yes, boy education is just as important. DH and I have already had conversations about how we interact with each other so as not to teach a son that girls / women are inferior. I'm also not as worried about this as DH always has my back in a debate about women's rights, etc.

Also @thelittlestbee‌, I also don't consider girls less worthy, and wish my mom had encouraged my sister and I to be independent. She pushed college on us, but also always asked when we were getting married or having kids. She will still be sometimes frustrated my sister is not married, but at the same time wishes she 'stood up for herself' like I do. I think I somehow evolved into the raging girl power family member on my own, as my sis has some of my moms tendencies in her own relationship. So IF Ewok is a girl, I hope I can approach it the same way you and your mom did. And if Ewok is a boy, he at least has a good mentor in DH, who backs me up each time I stand up for myself and girls in general.

Edited cause the quote boxes were broken

thelittlestbee · February 2015

@mellymar At the end of the day, all that really matters is how you and DH raise your baby. I've had these conversations a lot with my DH because it's a crazy thing to realize that we are going to be responsible for who our baby grows up to be as an adult. There's no right or wrong answer... But I think we can all take a look at our own upbringing and figure out what worked and what didn't work and just take it from there. I think the most important thing is to encourage our kids (boy or girl) to always believe in themselves and just be good people. Everything else will eventually fall in to place.

Also, my mom never pushed me to get married, but once I did get married all she wanted was a grandchild! Some moms are just like that

edited for missing words (pregnancy brain)

nicolec3 · February 2015

Drives me crazy when men feel that way. My dd is so close to my DH it is wonderful. I loved that Always like a girl commercial they played during the super bowl.

devyns2nd · February 2015

My four year old DD is literally in the bath putting on a beard and shaving it off with a cars shaving set, made for boys. It's a start right

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