What are evenings like in your household?

Sporty1216 · February 2015

I'm curious to know what evenings look like in other households. I expected that things would change a lot for us as LO is getting older, but so far the biggest change is that we pretty consistently eat dinner at the table as a family. But after that, DH pretty much wants to unwind in front of the TV, while I would rather that we do something to play with LO as a family until bedtime. I imagine (read: hope) this will change naturally as LO gets older, but I'm curious to hear how evenings go for you all!

lisabugg444 · February 2015

DH is a SAHD, so when I get home I take LO and give him a little break. DH then makes dinner while I play with her, then we eat and I do her bath, jammies, and read to her. I used to also do her bottle and put her in the crib, but while we're sleep training DH does it. She cries when I do it. Then we both unwind and usually watch tv together.

Can you ask DH to wait for tv time until after LO is in bed? It can't be that long. They go to bed early at this age.

smushi · February 2015

I get home with LO around 4pm. We have nursing (read: wrestling) matches off and on til usual dinner time of between 6-7pm. He usually naps at some point before dinner too. After dinner is bathtime, PJs, and stories. Then nursing to sleep.

DH's arrival time varies, so he either gets there in time to feed LO and bathe him while I cook our dinner, or he misses the whole shebang and gets home after LO has gone to bed. And then I cook. If LO takes that golden nap, I get to cook and eat at a decent time.

ETA DH either washes bottles/dinner dishes while I nurse LO to bed, or he does so afterwards, then we both unwind together on the sofa, and get things ready for the next day.

momofmanyinthemitten · February 2015

5:30 dinner
6:15 bath
6:45/6:55 Read, nurse, baby is asleep
7:00 DS asleep
7:30 DD asleep-I wish this was earlier, but for now, it'll do
7:45 wash dishes/clean kitchen/tidy house
8:30 prep for school/activities/crafts for the next day

lcr23 · February 2015

My husband works nights so when I get home from picking her up it's usually dinner time. Sometimes DH will cook before he leaves, I don't even attempt to during the week.

After dinner she plays for a little while and now that she's crawling I have to stay by her side, I used to do a little picking up.

She's been going down between 8-9 so once she's down I clean bottles and pump stuff and try to do a little laundry or something.

This arrangement is really taking a toll on me. I totally feel for single parents, at least I get my husband back on weekends.

Smores730 · February 2015

we eat dinner together then clean up the kitchen while the kids play. They do whatever, finish up homework, or once a week we try to play a family game together until 7:30 and that's when they sit down and watch a show with daddy. I join them sometimes... The baby plays on the floor while everyone watches the show or if she gets fussy she passes out in our laps with a bottle. At 8 it's bath time, a book, then bed.

kmos816 · February 2015

After dinner it's playtime with one of us while the other is cleaning up. Typically there is an of playtime before bed. Sometimes if my DH and I are both wiped we turn the tv on while the LO plays but we usually wait to turn the tv on until C is in bed around 7:30 or 8.

Sporty1216 · February 2015

Thanks to all for your descriptions! It's really helpful to see what other people's evenings look like. @lisabugg444--I've talked with him about this a few times before, but if I don't play the role of the "enforcer" (a role I hate), things slide right back to where they were after a few days. All of this inspires me to find a good time to address it again and to try to find a way for him to have some wind-down time before dinner (he works from home and so doesn't have any commute time to let the office "slide off"), and then to protect dinner until bedtime as screen-free family time. I do bedtime by default since we still nurse to sleep, but some "family fun time" before bed seems like it should be able to work. Part of the problem is, I think, that he's not totally confident in what to do or how to play with LO at this age. But I can help with that.

Anyway. Thanks to all and keep 'em coming! I'll take all the ideas I can get.

ETA--@lcr23, that does sound rough...I hope there's a way to find some relief soon!

twohunts · February 2015

I usually get home between 6:30 and 7. He cooks. I clean. (Thank God! Having to think of dinner ideas makes my stomach hurt!). We eat dinner while LO eats and then it's me playing with her in her room while DH stays downstairs. She gets a bath every other night, and a book and a song every night. We're still BFing, but she goes to sleep awake (but still wakes up twice during the night). I actually love putting her to bed. I look forward to it on my drive home. I also telework twice a week, but we stick to the same schedule - maybe slightly earlier. I love hearing what everyone does at night!

Dixon813 · February 2015

Dinner around 6/6:30 (when we all get home ranges from 4:30-6:30 depending on the day of the week)

After dinner it's bedtime for Liam - pjs, nurse, and book (DH and I do this together).

After he's in bed, it's dinner clean up, wash bottles, prep tomorrow's bottles, make lunches, set the coffee, etc. DH and I split all this. He usually does the dishes while I prep bottles and lunches.

Then we spend some time together on the couch!

BADASBKRCK · February 2015

We are pretty irregular. DH and I have opposing schedules so that one of us is home 5 days a week. That along with the fact that DH doesn't get home from work until 10:30 means we don't get a lot of family time. DD gets fed around 7pm, then we goof off together until 10 when I give her a bottle and put her to bed. If DH is working then he comes home and we eat a late dinner once DD is asleep.If DH is home all day then we all eat dinner together once I'm home from work at 7 then goof off time followed by bedtime.

BADASBKRCK · February 2015

Wow, that sounds confusing even to me and I live it lol. DH and I are all over the place schedule wise but the important thing is that we keep DD's schedule consistent.

nicole mackenzie · February 2015

Pretty irregular... I think for everyone's sanity we need a routine.

DH picks lo up at 5 and I don't get home until 7. It would be nice to have lo have had her bath and be in her pjs then I could nurse to sleep while DH made dinner?

DH is scared of bath time. He say it makes him so nervous he feels sick...

So I get home and take baby and we play/cook eat/watch TV, then I do a bath, maybe get a shower, then nurse to sleep ( we bed share).

I only work three days right now. The rest of our days have far less structure...

lilac02 · February 2015

On days both DH and I work, I pick LO up. Home around 6:30, dinner together (DH cooks), playtime, bath, pjs, bottle, and bed around 830. Then I do the dishes while DH preps everything for the next day. On days where one of us is off (I work part time and DH has Wednesday's off) it's the same schedule but less hectic.

yellowflower15 · February 2015

I'm home with two kids, but what we do leading up to dinner varies every night. We often don't get home until 6pm. The 3 year old usually watches a show while I start to get dinner ready with LO in the exersaucer in the kitchen. DH gets home anytime after 6:00pm and sometimes quite late. If he gets home early enough,he either takes the kids or he cooks. We eat together as much as possible.

After dinner it is usually straight upstairs to start the bedtime routine. For bedtime, it's divide and conquer. DH basically handles the 3 yr old and I handle the baby. We both get them ready and then we read stories together - DH typically does the actual reading. After stories we divide and conquer again to get them down for the night.

Then we usually both clean up from dinner, I do a load of laundry and clean up the toys. I often sweep the main floor and then we finally sit down together around 10-10:30.

BADASBKRCK · February 2015

@yellowflower15‌ , I like your phrasing, "divide and conquer"! It reminds me of advice someone gave me years ago...never have more kids than there are parents...one parent to handle each child.

yellowflower15 · February 2015

@BADASBKRCK‌ - we always wonder how people with more than 2 do it! I'm alone with two most days and minor things are such a challenge! Taking the 3 year old to a public bathroom and trying to also handle a 22lb baby is exhausting...

katy4128 · February 2015

I am a SAHM and have dinner ready by the time DH gets home. We eat about 5:45. After dinner we watch weel of fortune ( dh and I like to compete against each other) while LO plays next to us. 7-8 we all play together and 8 is bedtime. LO gets a bath every other night every night we all read a story together before bed.

zazu13 · February 2015

5:00 babies eat dinner then a little play time

6:00 bath, book, bottle, PJs

6:30 in bed

DH arrives home from work sometime in the middle of this. I usually try to start dinner earlier in the day and have it ready when he gets home. Usually we end up eating after putting kids to bed, but occasionally he gets home early enough that we can eat with the girls. He helps with whatever I'm doing when he gets there. If I don't have dinner done sometimes I can finish it while he finishes feeding the girls or gets them ready for bed. Rarely he gets home just in time for them to go to bed and I do it all by myself.

After the babies are in bed we usually eat, then unwind on the computers or in front of the TV. A few nights a week I will leave to either teach a dance class, go to the gym or do some shopping. DH likes to computer game so he doesn't mind when I'm gone because he gets to do what he wants.

cjpell0 · February 2015

5:00 DS gets home from daycare/ DH feeds him dinner if it's leftover night
5:30 I get home, we eat as a family if DH is cooking
6:00 bath
6:40 3 books
7 nurse and bed

I spend about an hour cleaning/ preping for the next day and then tv

AmberLiz99 · February 2015

Dh gets home around 5-5:30. I usually have dinner ready and we eat. He plays with the kids for a few minutes while I clean up. Usually he just goes and watched TV or reads the news after that. The kids and I play, read books, do bath with both kids at 6:30. My 3 year old hangs out with dh while I put dd to bed at 7, and at 7:30 I take ds up for his bedtime book. Both kids are asleep by 8. Once they are down I make sure things are ready for the next day (lunches packed, bottles cleaned, clothes clean, dog fed, trash taken out, etc). After that I usually join dh to watch something while I log onto work and get another hour clocked.

I work from home part time and Dh works traditional hours at an office.

Sporty1216 · February 2015

Thanks again to all--this is all really fun to read and hear more about! DH and I ended up talking about this some last night before we went to sleep and we're gonna try a new "family fun time" after dinner and before bedtime starting tonight. I certainly didn't mean to imply that he doesn't love spending time with LO--he really does. It's just that he will usually choose to do that while also watching a show (or at least having one on in the background) and my preference would be for all of us to play together sans show. So, we'll see! Excited to try something new tonight. And, when dreadful winter ends, I think family walks will be just the ticket.

AmberLiz99 · February 2015

^walks and parks in the evening are the best! Can't wait till warmer weather

Talltrees82 · February 2015

DH gets home 5:30-6 and we eat dinner, sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes in front of the TV while LO plays.

6-7 is playtime with LO, DH will hang out with him while I clean up, and then we all hang out together.

7pm we start the bedtime routine: bath, jammies, bottle, bed. LO is in bed by 7:30pm.

Then I drink wine.

Ha ha. I'll pick up from the day and then DH and I will watch TV, or if he's watching a hockey game I will work on my scrapbooks.

LolaX2 · February 2015

We get home from work and picking kids up from daycare around 6:00.

DH usually jumps right into making dinner while I unpack the car and get kids out of all the winter gear and settled at home.

6:30 we all eat dinner, then I clean up dinner, run a load of laundry and pack lunches and bags for the next day

7:00 bath time with both kids (DD is 10 months and DS just turned 3)at the same time and get them in jammies, brush teeth etc

7:30 we have some playtime

8:00 I get a bottle ready and feed DD while DH plays a bit more with DS

8:30 is quiet time reading a book together or watching a cartoon, usually Mickey Mouse that DS picks out

9:00 is bedtime for both kids but sometimes doesn't happen until closer to 9:30 (I SOOOO wish we could move it up a bit, but our kids are night owls, it used to be 10:00 or even 10:30 before we could get them in bed)

Once we get both kids settled in bed DH and I take turns taking showers and get ready for bed. We maybe relax and watch a half hour of tv and talk or have some sexytime....but usually its fall into bed around 10-10:30.

yellowflower15 · February 2015

@LolaX2‌ - you guys are efficient! Dinner started and eating within 30 mins and then the clean up and laundry in 30 mins! I need some lessons!

LolaX2 · February 2015

yellowflower15 - its all about planning and prep as much as possible ahead of time to make weekdays easier and still have some time to spend with the kids!

We do boring simple meals that are pre-planned and pre-prepped on week nights and left overs a few nights. For example grill up a bunch of chicken, cook a bunch of minute brown rice and frozen veggies then we can microwave the next night or throw some chicken into a quick salad. Sometimes we make a large batch of soup on Sunday that lasts through Wednesday or Thursday. We do most if not all of the prep work for dinners through the week on Sundays.

Clean up consists of packing stuff up for lunches the next day and into the fridge, putting dishing in the dishwasher then wiping down the counters, stove, table and highchair. I do one load of laundry every night so I throw one load in the wash and fold the one load from the night before that is in the dryer (I turn the dryer back on for a few minutes while cleaning up dinner to release wrinkles).

The last 10 minutes before bed each night is also a quick pick up of any toys, cups, snack ect from the evening. We get all bags ready for the next day to save on our morning routine. Shower at night so we can get ready quick in the morning. We have the morning down to a science lol. We are ready,get both kids ready, feed the cats, feed the dogs and let them out for a bit, garbage to the road and all packed in the car to head our in about 45 minutes! Everything for us is about trying to get as much tiem out of the day as we can to spend with the kids since we only get a few hours with them each day.

Talltrees82 · February 2015

Wow @LolaX2‌ I am impressed! And taking notes! Thank you for sharing!

CalinAZ · February 2015

Ours really depends on DH's work schedule. Two nights a week he doesn't get home until 8pm and one night he leaves at 6:30 for band rehearsal, so on those days I'm on my own for bedtime routine.

If DH is home, our routine is dinner around 6pm (and helmet free time!). I often cook while DH plays with Evan (unless he's being fussy, then DH cooks). We all eat together. Then DH takes Evan upstairs around 6:30 while I do a little tidying up downstairs from dinner. Afterwards, I head upstairs and while DH does bathtime, I clean Evan's helmet and tidy up Evan's room and decompress a bit. DH gives Evan to me after the bath, so I do his PJs, nursing, story and song. DH finishes cleaning the kitchen and downstairs (hopefully!).

Once he's down, we usually watch TV and decompress until around 9:30/10 (whenever Evan wakes to eat) and then we all go to bed.

DH has had to work late all week so I've been on my own for bedtime every night - I cannot wait for this week to be over!

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