To Work or Not to Work

katdewald28 · January 2015

Has anyone been contemplating whether or not to work or be a stay at home mother? What do your pro\cons look like?

My husband and I are still paying student loans it would be super tight but possible. Buying everything used. My job works me 60 hours a week but I feel compelled to give it closure. Thought about it a lot today when they asked me to start some projects 5 years in the making. Does anyone feel guilt about being a stay at home mom in terms of financial contribution and purpose?

AmandaluvsJames · January 2015

I love having the best of both worlds.I work from home and get to stay home with my 2 and 3 year olds.At this point I can not imagine being away from them for a part time or full time job outside the home. Also being a former preschool teacher, I saw a lot of things that turned me away from wanting to send my own babies there. I found the job that I have now on the work at hime adventures website, there is a lot to filter through, but a lot of good leads.I feel that it has been healthy for me to hsve a job where I'm interacting with other adults, but also able to savor these precious years with my babies. There are so many milestones during the baby and toddler years that are just to precious for me to miss

katdewald28 · January 2015

Checking out your website recommendation now!

irenejean · January 2015

The cons for me with staying at home are that my job carries our benefits, and I really enjoy what I do. I know some moms who feel they are better moms because they work, I think I might be in that boat. That being said, I know other moms who stay at home/work from home and wouldn't have it any other way. I think working 60 hours a week would be hard for me once the baby arrives, I can see why you're considering staying at home!

ellebxo26 · January 2015

also thank you for the website recommendation! How long have you been working from home? Has it been pretty consistent and successful?? I don't need a whole lot of income for me to stay at home.. I'm hoping to get some leads!

Mufflerlove · January 2015

I am a SAHM, there are times I feel guilty. Well no not guilty but useless in a way. Logically I know that's not the case but when I hear about other people getting raises or promotions it brings up those feelings. I have a degree but don't use it. Feels like a waste. But my daughter is my life and the idea of not being home with her kills me. Home is absolutely where I want to be.

I recently started working from home at night time doing court transcription work. I took a course last summer to do it. It helps. I feel more useful and can at least pay for my gas and our groceries. It also has unlimited potential because I can work as much as I want but I choose to stick with a couple hours each day.

Jamilla9 · January 2015

I am a happily working mother. I didn't work while I was pregnant with my son. It was the first time in my adult life without having a job. I quit when I was 14 weeks and didn't go back because we were moving into a new house and a lot was going on. I could'nt wait to find a new job after my son was born. I probably went back too soon but I like working. My husband has never made me feel like his money is his and vice versa but I like making my own money. I also have the best childcare available, my mom. If I didn't have her I would want to work from home until my kids were in preschool. ❤️

caityrose · January 2015

Have you considered finding a job that requires less hours? I won't work for a little bit but I'm pretty sure I can only handle staying home for so long. I lasted about a year here after our move before I was desperate to go work again but obviously it's a little different because I did not have any kids.

ForeverEverAfter · January 2015

I went back to full time work when M was 10.5 mo. It was hard at times, but I enjoy my work, and I make a lot more than DH and have better benefits. DH will be getting an upgrade at work this year that will bump him up a lot, and I'm hoping to take a full year off then return part time. We have a lot of debt from student loans and moving last year, so I will definitely have to work.

jenboston22 · January 2015

I work from home as a freelance marketer. You may want to check out Elance and oDesk; they're websites that will connect you with clients looking for your skills (for a fee, of course, but I've managed to make a decent living working from home through these sites. Typically the fee is approx. 8% of earnings.)

kfbalaor · February 2015

For me, I wish that being a SAHM was an option. However, the cons outweigh the pros. My current job, while it doesn't pay much, provides amazing healthcare benefits for me and my beneficiaries. They provide great maternity leave plans (partially paid, but it's better than nothing at all). Plus, I work in public service, so if I try to change my job to a WFM non-public service position or just stay at home, I lose out on my 10 year loan forgiveness from my graduate school loans. I'm really wanting to take advantage of the loan forgiveness plan mainly so that it'll be easier to save up for the little one's future.

bpv101283 · February 2015

I think about this a lot. I currently work full time but don't know what the next few months/year will bring. My husbands office is going remote in March. I'm supposed to move to my husbands company to do accounting and payroll for the business but not sure if that will be this year or next. When I move to that job I will work from home part time three days per week. I will continue to send my toddler to his babysitter a few days a week because he loves it there and I think she is incredible. I don't believe me or my husband could give an older child the attention they need or our work the attention it needs by keeping him home all the time. Unfortunately not all of it can be done at night.

Tbh, I don't like working, but I like money and I make a really good salary. Also I'm not sure I am as qualified an educator as my babysitter, nor do I have as much patience. I feel so lucky to have her.

AmandaluvsJames · February 2015

@ellebxo26 I've been working from home since June 2014 (I was finishing up my bachelors from home prior to that). It has been very consistent . I've changed my hours from 40 to 20 but by choice. Prior to the job I have now, I had considered working at a preschool, since I have the hours required and so forth. But by the time I would have paid the discounted childcare rate for my 2 and 3 year old, my gas and other expenses for work, I would hace been averaging a measely $5 an hour, I make double that from the comfort of my home and get to be with the kiddos all day so for me it's worth it. Also, having worked in a infant-k4 school I know firsthand that childcare workers are underpaid, overstressed and pushed to the highest legal ratio limits most always. If you do decide to work and have someone else warch your baby I would highly suggest either having a person be a nanny in your home, so your child has undivided attention or finding a day care that prides itself in being over staffed with smaller child to worker ratios. Best of luck to you!

AmandaluvsJames · February 2015

@Mufflerlove I would love to know more about the website or other way you found your transcription job, if you could provide any info on that it would be awesome! Thank you

Mufflerlove · February 2015

@AmandaluvsJames I am in Canada. They recently changed the law and now all transcripts get typed by workers at home. So I was getting my hair cut one day and my hair dresser tells about this course she's starting lol. I called the college and asked and that's how I found the course. I took the first course ever offered, and now I can just work for myself there's no job postings or anything. I am on a list of authorized transcriptions and anyone needing a transcript has to choose from that list. I am not sure if they have similar things in the US or other parts of Canada.

Mufflerlove · February 2015

https://www.courttranscriptontario.ca/home/home This is the website though. I don't know if there's information about where the course is offered on it anywhere.

katdewald28 · February 2015

Amanda what do you do at home? Work wise I mean.

ellebxo26 · February 2015

My boss came today and asked me what my plans are after and if I planned to come back full time or part time. I don't know for sure yet..but my husband and I are trying to figure out a way for me to stay home. I didn't want to tell her that just yet so I said I'm thinking part time. I don't want to mislead her so my husband and I discussed it tonight and definitely our plan is to try to let me stay at home. My job is a pretty big one to fill so I'm thinking of letting her know by April or May so they have 4-5 months to start hiring/training my replacement. Do you guys think that sounds fair or should I let her know now? If our plans fall through and I need to work part time I want that option still..so hence my hesitancy to tell her now about not coming back. I'm torn! I've been with the company since we opened 4 years ago and they are like my family.... but I know once baby is here my priorities are going to change.

Knottie00400192 · February 2015

@ellebxo26‌ I would let your boss know that you are still considering part time and bring someone in to train for your position while you're out on maternity leave. That way if you do decide to stay home, they have someone that can do your position. I plan on returning to work, but while I'm gone I will be training someone in my office to fill in for me once I'm on leave. I just pray that I come back to my job.

Kiek · February 2015

I used to feel guilty for being a SAHM. I never thought I would be as I've been working since I was 13. However, my husband and I made the decision together that I would stay at home and it has turned out to be the best choice for us. I stopped feeling guilty when I realized that my husband and I are a team and we each contribute something different to raising our family. Just because my contribution isn't financial, doesn't make it any less important.

I think as moms we have to do what we think will bring the most joy to our homes. Some moms thrive on juggling work and raising their children and I am in awe those women. Some moms thrive on being with their children and being buried in housework all day (me lol). A lot of moms don't have a choice and have to work and those moms are teaching invaluable lessons to their babies. Everyone has to do what they feel is best for their situation. I feel like there isn't a wrong answer here

gollygeeitsamy · February 2015

I really, really, really want to be a SAHM but it just isn't financially possible for us. I have an ok job (that I hate) but I can't really change my cirumstances. Since I must work, I wish I could from home but I'm not sure that's possible either. Some of you don't realize how lucky you are because you love what you do (SAHM or working).

rablissful · February 2015

I'm a permanent substitute teacher at the moment. I was HOPING to get a full time teaching job next semester, then I found out I was pregnant. I felt selfish trying to find a job and possibly not even being able to start, but my SO and I decided I would just take the summer and the full fall semester off work and find a permanent sub job for January. That way I get to spend the first 3 months at home with the new LO

It's going to be super tight but I'd rather spend that time with my LO and not have to worry about them being teeny tiny with a stranger.

We can't afford for me to be a SAHM forever, as much as I would love that. We still have too much student debt and car loans, but the 3.5 month compromise (especially since that includes all the fun holidays of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas) works for me

Do what makes YOU happy and what makes sense for YOUR family.

Knottie00400192 · February 2015

I am extremely jealous of all you SAHMs omg! I wish we could afford to do that, but unfortunately living in an expensive place like Southern California it takes both of our incomes to be able to continue to move forward in life. I am very very very much looking forward to taking my 3-4 months off at the end of the year though!

knowmeinadifferentlight · February 2015

I would never ever look down upon a working mom. With my first one, I decided that my little job barely made over the cost of daycare prices, and the closest relative we had to take over watching my daughter was 2 hours away, one way. Money was tight, and we didn't have a nursery with all the matching bells and whistles, but I was able to stay at home with her and breastfeed and be her only source of learning until she went to preschool. She was potty trained on her 2nd birthday and started reading full, rudimentary sentences well before her 3rd birthday. I was very fortunate, though we had zero extra money and dinners were basic and often repeated throughout the week. It all depends on what it is worth to each individual mother. Some may prefer to work and bring in extra money for the unexpected things in life. Some may wish to continue working because they have worked hard to be where they are at and feel more accomplished to contribute financially rather than staying home, and that is wonderful. We are all varied individuals, and we inherently have gut feelings about what is right for us and our families. It all comes down to your specific situation. Do what makes you feel right, that is my opinion.

To Work or Not to Work

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