Called out for being pregnant/fat

rass0 · January 2015

I'm only 12 weeks and someone at work asked me if I was pregnant. I'm not ready to tell yet so I said no, but he didn't seem to believe me and just teased me saying my stomach is usually flat and it looks like I've put on weight. He's just that type of personality that teases people like that. Even though I am pregnant, I still feel so offended because I shouldn't be showing that much yet so I just feel fat. I've only gained about 2 lbs during pregnancy. Pre-pregnancy I gained 5-10 lbs during my first ivf cycle with the fertility drugs and not being able to workout. Since I still can't workout, I've not lost the weight, but I didn't gain much recently or since I've been pregnant. Now I feel bad. Has anyone else had this happen yet? How do you respond if you're not ready to tell, but you also don't want to be thought of as fat.

SassetteSmurfling · January 2015

Yup. Around 10 weeks a coworker asked if I was pregnant. I said no and asked what made her ask. She responded saying "you just kinda look like it..." Gee thanks.

I'm pretty sure everyone at work knows I'm pregnant, not because of my huge bloat, but just because of how sick and tired I've been I've had a few people ask, I just deny deny deny!

mrslizfay · January 2015

Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!

manning&m · January 2015

SassetteSmurfling · January 2015

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!

Uhm, how about because it's nobody's business. Yes, some of us have a decent bloat going on, but none of us are showing enough that we should be called out on it. Would you call out a (non pregnant) coworker for gaining 10 lbs? That's just rude. You should never comment on a woman's possible weight gain.

And ftr, I'm not telling coworkers until 18-20 weeks. It's our news to share when we're ready, and not until then.

ChristyM87 · January 2015

SassetteSmurfling said:

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!
Uhm, how about because it's nobody's business. Yes, some of us have a decent bloat going on, but none of us are showing enough that we should be called out on it. Would you call out a (non pregnant) coworker for gaining 10 lbs? That's just rude. You should never comment on a woman's possible weight gain.

And ftr, I'm not telling coworkers until 18-20 weeks. It's our news to share when we're ready, and not until then.

I hope you have a good job keeping it hidden until 20 weeks. I am a FTM and already my belly is sticking out. I don't think I could keep it under wraps until 20 weeks people would catch on

mamaloaf · January 2015

Ask him if he had a big bowl of asshole for breakfast. Problem solved.

taylorharber1108 · January 2015

My Aunt told me she can see my bump. I told her that isn't the baby. I totally understand your situation. I have gained 10 pounds since we started TTC in November. I know it is noticeable. I'm assuming everyone is just trying to make me feel better by saying it's the baby.

Yellow1998 · January 2015

I've barely gained two pounds and just shared the news at work today. I'm 12 1/2 weeks and a good handful of them told me they had a feeling I was. I have a tiny little bump but it was my posture and complexion that gave it away. And they said they could see the tiny bump a little bit.

bashfulbird · January 2015

The co-worker of the OP was out of line. There are reasons why a woman might not want her employer to know. Its up to her, if she wants to keep it covert for as long as possible that's her business and no one else.

MamaMandy2015 · January 2015

I have had people ask and some just stare at me like "oh there's a fattie" best thing to do is just ignore the twat-waffle, he'll feel like an ass when you do announce that your pregnant. You know what a gorgeous life you are growing so to hell with anyone who pokes fun at it, even if they only think that you're getting chubby. Smile and say " Bless your heart" lol

cpedward · January 2015

I totally just got called out at work in front of like 30 people at a little retirement party. So awkward since I'm only 10.5 weeks.

Dajart4 · January 2015

I raised my hand and had to adjust my shirt. One of my students responded "Ms. Thomas is getting big" followed by a few laughs. I have to admit it actually hurt my feelings.

SassetteSmurfling · January 2015

ChristyM87 said:

SassetteSmurfling said:

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!
Uhm, how about because it's nobody's business. Yes, some of us have a decent bloat going on, but none of us are showing enough that we should be called out on it. Would you call out a (non pregnant) coworker for gaining 10 lbs? That's just rude. You should never comment on a woman's possible weight gain.

And ftr, I'm not telling coworkers until 18-20 weeks. It's our news to share when we're ready, and not until then.
I hope you have a good job keeping it hidden until 20 weeks. I am a FTM and already my belly is sticking out. I don't think I could keep it under wraps until 20 weeks people would catch on

Luckily our dress code is very relaxed. I'll be rocking hoodies for most of February lol.

MCook · January 2015

Thank you for posting. With IVF I gained 10 pounds also, in what seriously felt like overnight. Accompany that with pregnancy bloat and even though I shouldn't be showing people notice. I don't have an answer, but I can definitely feel for you as I'm in the same place (10 weeks today). Good luck. Hopefully we "grow" into pregnancy and the extra weight from IVF days the rest of the weight gain. Good luck.

Kimk1616 · January 2015

People are really gutsy to call out a woman's weight like that. A coworker of mine was asked when she was due and she wasn't even pregnant. That made her feel terrible. I wish people took a little more time to think before they actually spoke.

Like a PP, I'm also rocking the hoodies. It works great to hide the extra bloat and weight gain! All my coworkers know but I'm not ready to share with our clients, not until I start feeling like a normal human being again anyway.

rass0 · January 2015

Thanks ladies!! I'm not going to be ready to share until at least after our genetic testing next week. Although it was rude of my co-worker to ask, it made me realize I'll have to re-evaluate what I wear of I want to continue to hid it.

puccagirl77 · January 2015

But you didn't tell us what happened after you punched him in the face.

I had a co-worker ask if I was pregnant when I wasn't and I just said, "Did you seriously just ask me if I was pregnant?" I think that answer works if you are or you aren't. Then walk away. Anything they say after that other than "sorry" just digs them in a deeper hole.

rass0 · January 2015

Haha @puccagirl77‌ . If I could've gotten away with it without getting fired, I would have!

2Twinboys2 · January 2015

Interesting...love the comments.
I don't see anything wrong with folks asking if your pregnant if u are 9 months. A woman's body changes every month. We bloat when we are about to get our periods and swhen we eat a big meal, etc.

But I would never deny my pregnancy. I am 10 and just waiting for someone to ask me if I am pregnant. I am about 20# over weight so I guess I will have to wait the obvious question. My husband and I are like u, we don't want to tell anyone yet we want to enjoy this pregnancy alone for as long as we can.

I think the noncommittal answers are best if you don't want to tell anyone. I do like the answer my sister gave someone when she wasn't ready to tell.. she said something like. 'I am so glad you are so comfortable enough with me to tell me you have noticed I am gaining weight. So now I feel equally as comfortable asking you to fund my new wardrobe for my new size. Can I have $500 to start making purchases' I thought it was cute.

Pregnancy, if wanted, is supposed to be happy and fun time for a woman. Have fun with it if someone asks. You baby is alive, developing, growing and loving you so much.

cowboys2009 · January 2015

Why is OP being questioned about "denying" her pregnancy? Does it make her a bad person? Everyone has their own reasons for not wanting something like this to go public until a certain point.

I am a hs teacher who doesn't have tenure and plans to miss a portion of next school year. I'm waiting until after tenure meetings bc I don't want my pregnancy to jeopardize my job. I also have a follow up ultrasound on the 12th for some amniotic sac issues. God forbid something is wrong, I don't need to explain it to my colleagues and potentially my 118 students.

cowboys2009 · January 2015

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!

Your comments are rude and uncalled for. There's a difference between snark and downright bitchiness.

hsabyan · January 2015

Edited because mobile is messing up my attempts at being clever.

Carry on.

SashaDenn25 · January 2015

So I'm 13 weeks and have not gained any weight at all, BUT I have a nice little bump happening already and have always worn form fitting shirts. DH is a bodybuilder and when we found out I was training to compete in a physique show in a year. I'm assuming this bump is protruding so much in my eye bc I'm used to such a flat stomach bc everyone else seems to think it isn't as big as I do. I have dealt with severe body issues so I think it is simply just hard for me to not see this bump as bigger than it is, let alone if someone I don't know so well said something about it. I just tell myself I'm beautiful and DH thinks so too. Not to mention the little smirk he gets when he sees me little bump. It's hard to not feel bad pregnant or not. I completely relate. I will usually just wake up do mymakeup, hairs, nails. Pamper myself a little to make me focus less on my growing self and more on this awesome complexion and hair this pregnancy has been giving me!!

bashfulbird · January 2015

cowboys2009 said:

Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!
Your comments are rude and uncalled for. There's a difference between snark and downright bitchiness.

I don't agree. How was @mrslizfay being rude or bitchy? Abrupt? Possibly, but bitchy? Nah.

bashfulbird · January 2015

I have and I don't think she is trying to be an a-hole...i could be wrong.

Seh114 · January 2015

When anyone asks me, male or female I say "no, why, are you?"

cowboys2009 · January 2015

bashfulbird said:

cowboys2009 said:

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!
Your comments are rude and uncalled for. There's a difference between snark and downright bitchiness.

I don't agree. How was @mrslizfay being rude or bitchy? Abrupt? Possibly, but bitchy? Nah.

And that's the beauty of the world! We all have our opinions.

As a PP said, her post history speaks for itself. To call someone a hypocrite for not wanting to out their pregnancy on someone else's terms is a tad overboard.

CaliforniaDream87 · January 2015

cowboys2009 said:

bashfulbird said:

cowboys2009 said:

mrslizfay said:
Umm ladies... You are pregnant!!! Regardless of other people noticing your changing shape and inquiring, you are pregnant and weight gain and body shape changes is exactly what is supposed to be happening! I don't get this post. What is the point of it? If you are "feeling fat" do some light exercises and chalk it up to hormones. Drink more water and don't eat foods that make you bloat extra right now. Maybe your coworkers do think you look hefty but WHO CARES?!! How long do you want to wait to tell your coworkers anyways? They will notice and out you. Maybe they are inquiring because they care about you and would be excited in your news, or maybe they are just nosey but eitherway you'll be the hypocrite in a month when you are really showing and making others feel bad in the process. Good luck!
Your comments are rude and uncalled for. There's a difference between snark and downright bitchiness.

I don't agree. How was @mrslizfay being rude or bitchy? Abrupt? Possibly, but bitchy? Nah.

And that's the beauty of the world! We all have our opinions.

As a PP said, her post history speaks for itself. To call someone a hypocrite for not wanting to out their pregnancy on someone else's terms is a tad overboard.

Meh, this is hardly "bitchiness". A little strange to call someone a "hypocrite" for wanting to keep their news to themselves but not bitchy.

Now, it does however seem like she is trying a little too hard to be "snarky" though. Just my two cents though...

bashfulbird · January 2015

I agree with @californiaDream87 the post history of @mrslizfay is strange and it does seem, I'll admit, provocative, but @cowboys2009 do you see how this thread spirals away from the OP, IMO the way to deflect comments that we see are out-there and offensive is to doubledown with supportive comments. Calling someone rude and bitchy goes nowhere fast. It makes me see why some users will go ahead and just repost old topics because some threads can get mired so quickly.

@14cath your coworker def. gets the douche of the day award.

Starynightsky24 · January 2015

Why not just say, "well that was rude..." And walk away?

I was asked if I was pregnant at 12 weeks with DS. I wasn't too concerned at the time and just told. I felt the same way- fat.

dev85 · January 2015

I announced the other day and of course coworkers are claiming they "knew it". One said "you don't usually have a pouch like that". Bull sh*t! Lol I've put on 5 lbs since I found out and yes I'm definitely bloated but there is no baby bump. Now if someone had noticed my boobs that would be a legitimate claim! They're ginormous!!!

joannerows · February 2015

I was at the gym yesterday and I definitely have some major bloat going on. Everyone's eyes went straight to my stomach and I felt so fat! Ugh, just wish I could tell them already but I'm waiting as long as possible!

Called out for being pregnant/fat

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