Co-ed/ Jack and Jill Shower

teamasante · February 2015

Is anyone else wanting a co-ed shower vs the traditional women only. This will be the first grandchild for my parents, I have 3 brothers, several close male friends and DH would like to be there along with his brother and friends therefore we'd prefer a co-ed shower, my mom and bff are going to be hosting it, anyone else share the same view?

Designermomma · February 2015

It really depends on how many guests your host can accommodate. My sister just wants her husband there and a few guy friends. That is fine. I just can't invite everyone's spouses etc.

Empireceo · February 2015

These are actually my least favorite kind of shower. But I agree with PP, its up to your host.

jennypolkadots · February 2015

Ask your host how many people they can accommodate, and then you can plan who you can invite. It may mean inviting male friends instead of more distant relatives or something to that extent.

We had a co-ed shower and it was really fun. My husband was more comfortable and none of the guys seemed to mind at all, it was just like being at a party and opening some gifts at the end.

o_so_in_love · February 2015

My experience with these showers are men eat more than women. As a hostess, you've got to be up to the challenge to accommodate

neverblushed · February 2015

When I was pregnant with my DD, I also had a lot of male friends who were just as excited as the female friends and relatives that my H and I were having a baby. But all of those guys, probably including my H, would have thrown up in their mouths a little if they'd been asked to come to a co-ed shower.

If you want to celebrate your pregnancy and impending parenthood with the guys, have a grill'n'swill and have your H or another male friend give a toast to acknowledge this life change. Don't mention gifts, don't ask the men to bring diapers as admission, and don't call it a shower.

If you don't want to have a baby shower, tell your mom and bff thanks but no thanks.

(edited for grammar)

jroll2lo · February 2015

I've attended 2 co-ed baby showers and enjoyed both! I found them to be more laid back and more social than other showers I've attended. If your host is happy to do it, I say go for it! It's definitely becoming more common and everyone gets to celebrate this milestone with you and your DH.

MrsPDX · February 2015

If my husband were here I would prefer a co-ed shower. I think it would be so much more fun to invite all of our couple friends and male relatives. That said, since he is gone and it would be awkward to invite our male friends, without him being there, my hostess is doing female only.

I went to a BBQ and Beer coed shower last year and it was so fun! There was wings, chips, lots of beer. There was a male blindfolded diaper changing contest (hilarious). Everyone had a great time!

On the other hand, for my mom, MIL, aunt, grandma, they are all super excited to have a traditional female shower, so I am happy that they can enjoy that. And I know I will have fun too. Its just a different kind of fun, you know, the quieter and more reserved fun.

teamasante · February 2015

Thank you ladies for all your replies and suggestions!

kmvisioli · February 2015

I actually prefer the more informal co-ed shower, especially if you have a lot of male friends and couple friends. It's a more social, relaxed environment, and feels more like a celebration with the parents-to-be than like a formal rite of passage moms just have to deal with.

neverblushed · February 2015

I know I already replied, but I have another thought to add:

DH and I happened to be among the first friends in our group to have kids. At the time of my shower, many of our male friends weren't even dating anyone, let alone married or already a dad. Some of my guy friends would have felt really awkward picking out a baby gift -- even from a registry. If my hostesses had done a co-ed shower, it just would have looked gift grabby.

Ten years later, when the youngest child in the friend group was born, even the single guys in the friend group had a passing familiarity with things like diaper genies and burp cloths. They might have been more interested in a co-ed shower.

So, I think you have to know your friend group. I don't want to overgeneralize, but if there are lots of established couples, many of whom are already parents, I think a co-ed shower is more reasonable. Single guys who haven't spent much time around new babies would probably rather not have to sit through a shower -- even with beer and wings. Or, if you do have a co-ed "shower" with mostly single guy friends, be prepared for it to be more of a party than a shower. DH and I do know one couple whose college friend group did co-ed showers. The only shower game was that everyone but the MTB had to drink a shot every time the MTB opens a gift. Hey, it worked for them!

Co-ed/ Jack and Jill Shower

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