scared of an episiotomy

cecilespies · February 2015

I'm a FTM, very scared of what's to come, or maybe just the unknown. How common is an episiotomy performed and can it be prevented? Do you have any personal stories of having it done, good or bad?

babybear0407 · February 2015

I'm a FTM and also scared of an episiotomy! My hospital has a 43% rate of episiotomy for FTM, the highest in Ireland, and I'm very much hoping to avoid this! As I don't plan on getting an epidural, DH has been warned to keep an eye out at delivery for any unnecessary cutting and I also plan on being very verbal about not consenting unless it's an emergency!
I heard some really good advice is to ask your midwife how often she performs them and to try and switch midwife if it's a high number.

READY4TWO · February 2015

I had to have one with my son. After 2 hours of pushing he was just stuck and wasn't coming without help. So we had to do an episiotomy and suction. I had an epidural which I was seriously thankful for so I didn't feel it at all. It healed just fine though. It wasn't too big of a deal for me.

sekosmides · February 2015

It's my understanding that some doctors prefer you tear naturally as apposed to cutting.... Something about it being easier to repair?
That's probably no less scary, but compared to everything else going on at that time, honestly you most likely won't even notice if they do.

tasharchibald · February 2015

Ya tell them if at all possible you would just like to tear naturally. That's what my dr does. He says it heals better with the jagged rip rather than a straight slit. I tore with my first and probably will again but you should heal up just find either way

Jennym2b · February 2015

I'm making it very clear that I refuse one unless absolutely necessary

Stephb0488 · February 2015

I'm planning to write up a birth plan saying what is acceptable for me or not if they don't agree I have no problem changing doctors or hospital. You have the right to decide.

mel+austx · February 2015

I was told my state had outlawed them due to the reasons stated above. Then, in the throws of delivery the doctor asked if I "wanted" one. What? ! I mean, who "wants" something like that? I deferred to him by asking if he thought I needed one. IMO that was a bad choice. I ended up tearing as well and had one heck of a mess down there. I personally will stick to my guns this time. For me I will ask for it to happen naturally. A live and learn situation.

cecilespies · February 2015

After having an episiotomy or tearing naturally, will you still go for vaginal birth after that? I have a very high pain tolerance but as a ftm you don't know what it's going to be like until you in that situation

Ckorines · February 2015

I tore naturally in the shape of an L. It's really no big deal. You lose control of what's going on down there and just let things happen. Easy recovery too.

mel+austx · February 2015

Oh yeah. Tearing/episiotomy happens in the final pushing stage. Generally speaking, by this time is all over but the crying (pardon the expression). Even having had a bad experience, it didn't really effect the delivery. If they do an episiotomy, and you haven't had an epidural, they will give you a local. Really, do the research before, know your ideal, talk to your doctor or midwife ahead of time then prepare yourself fire last minute changes.

but I promise. It will be a while lot less scary when it is happening. Right now you have nothing to do but worry. There, you just want that baby out so you can hold her. Promise!

sekosmides · February 2015

I tore with my first, I plan on VB again this time, I asked my Dr to take her time sewing me up and I haven't had any complaints....

Mamamads · February 2015

Look into perineum massages, If started around 34 weeks they can help you avoid one. Also make a birth plan that states you would rather tear naturally. Have your preferences outlined but just know if the moment you will want what is best for getting that baby out. Try not to stress and don't listen to the labor horror stories. Women have been doing this forever, If it was so completely awful nobody would have children.

shenry43 · February 2015

It freaks me out too. I'm curbing right now. I feel like I'm going to vomit if they have to do it! But a c section freaks me out even more. I wish a stork would bring me a beautiful baby after I'm fully rested!!! Lol

shenry43 · February 2015

Cringing******

KKMichie · February 2015

READY4TWO said:
I had to have one with my son. After 2 hours of pushing he was just stuck and wasn't coming without help. So we had to do an episiotomy and suction. I had an epidural which I was seriously thankful for so I didn't feel it at all. It healed just fine though. It wasn't too big of a deal for me.

This was the exact same situation for me, however I DID feel it all, even though I had an epidural. Felt like burning! I recommend sitting on ice packs for several days after birth to reduce swelling. My hospital gave me the ice packs automatically. I was sore for quite a while after and used a doughnut to sit on.

Laura8415 · February 2015

Talk to your OB and find out what their episiotomy rate is beforehand. MY OB has a really low rate, and only performs them if it is absolutely necessary. With DS, I ended up needing one - he had a large head. The OB had to do a second degree episiotomy, and really, it was no big deal. I didn't notice anything weird during my recovery, and everything has been fine down there. He told me that you usually don't need one with any future births, so we will see.

gotdiesel2007 · February 2015

I tore with my first and I swear it was from the induction and how fast everything was going bc I don't have big babies. Second was larger weight wise and no induction no tearing, no pain. I was able to get right up and walk around first it hurt to walk, sit etc. I know our currently hospital only does it if absolutely necessary.

akbride25 · February 2015

I tore and had an episiotomy with my first. The midwives I see don't routinely do them unless it's a necessary situation. I had pushed for 4 hours and he needed to come out because he was starting to be in distress. I didn't feel it happen because of an epidural, and I didn't notice any difference in healing from the delivery and the one where I didn't have an episiotomy. I had been nervous about having one, but in the end it was no big deal.

claudia3059 · February 2015

My dad was a general surgeon in a small town with only two docs. He performed a lot of births and when I asked him if the episiotomy hurt he told me the pressure of the baby's head made the vaginal opening numb so most moms don't feel it.

HOWEVER... My dad is not the soft and cuddly type and, let's face it he's man, so I'm not sure if it's true.

MrsC0409 · February 2015

I didn't feel anything. At that point, I felt nothing and I was just glad it was (almost) all over. Recovery was fine too. If they didn't tell me I had stitches I would never had known.

mrspark812 · February 2015

I tore with DD but I had an epidural so I didn't feel it at all. I didn't heal well afterwards, I developed a begin growth that my OB had to remove but I still plan on a VB this time. I don't see why I can't have one, I think the resident dr just didn't stich me up right.

As for prevention there are things you can do in the months/weeks leading up to L&D to help stretch and prepare the area. You can use Essential oils to massage the tissue. I never tried it so I can't speak towards it but I've seen stuff online. You can always talk to your OB

cecilespies · February 2015

Thank you for the great comments! I feel better about it now, thought I would be scared for life (mentally and physically) lol
I'll have a chat with my dr and see what she says. These days they prefer the quicker and easier way to suit their schedule

kate5all · February 2015

I'm going to tear naturally, if I can.

From what I've heard, episiotomies have a standard length (can't remember how long), which may or may not be longer than you actually need. Sometimes tearing naturally leads to a shorter wound. Tears heal better, but the straight episiotomy cuts are easier to stitch up, which is why some docs prefer them.

Everyone I've talked to who has gone through it said they didn't even feel themselves tearing because there's just a lot going on down there, what with the human coming out of you and all.

MrsC0409 · February 2015

This won't be the last thing that scares you. All of the stuff you read does nothing but scare you. After all the junk I read, I convinced myself that I only wanted a c-section and played through conversations with my doctor in my head trying to come up with a legitimate excuse. When it came time to deliver, I was so surprised at how little I noticed and how relaxed the whole situation was. I don't know what these women do that write these what to expect articles! If no one told me half the stuff that happens I wouldn't have even noticed it. There's a reason people go back for more than one kid... it's not as bad as they say and it's totally worth it!

sarahsairsair · February 2015

If you are really scared of tearing, when your midwife/OB says "don't push" no matter how much u want to, don't!

Billingsleymommy · February 2015

READY4TWO said:
I had to have one with my son. After 2 hours of pushing he was just stuck and wasn't coming without help. So we had to do an episiotomy and suction. I had an epidural which I was seriously thankful for so I didn't feel it at all. It healed just fine though. It wasn't too big of a deal for me.

same except no suction....they used forceps....

Jmitch8 · February 2015

KKMichie said:

READY4TWO said:
I had to have one with my son. After 2 hours of pushing he was just stuck and wasn't coming without help. So we had to do an episiotomy and suction. I had an epidural which I was seriously thankful for so I didn't feel it at all. It healed just fine though. It wasn't too big of a deal for me.
This was the exact same situation for me, however I DID feel it all, even though I had an epidural. Felt like burning! I recommend sitting on ice packs for several days after birth to reduce swelling. My hospital gave me the ice packs automatically. I was sore for quite a while after and used a doughnut to sit on.

This was my experience too, but I don't remember feeling it. I do remember being sore for a long time after and sitting on pillows. I didn't really think about it when it happened and I don't think it hit me that it happened until after I left the hospital.

manda82585 · February 2015

Tearing and episiotomy are what I was most afraid of with my first. I had an epidural and it felt like it completely wore off before I was even ready to push and they wouldn't give me more meds into it. I ended up having a 2nd degree tear when all was said and done. Doc numbed me up down there before stitching and I couldn't feel anything. Honestly after you have a baby, you are sore all over the next couple days and i couldnt differentiate pain from birthing a child and pain from tearing. It really wasn't that awful overall. The worst part of tearing for me last time was the annoyance of having stitches down there, just felt really weird and hurt sometimes, especially after doing lots of walking until it healed up. Ask your doc what their stance on episiotomy is, but like other previous posters have stated, I think the general consensus of U.S. docs is that a natural tear is better in the long run and heals better, so episiotomy isn't done unless completely necessary. Try not to worry! Tearing (at least in my experience) is nowhere near as bad as it sounds. If it happens, you will be ok and really won't even know until doc tells you and it will heal up and all will be well. This isn't something I am worrying about at all with my 2nd :-)

rachellemons · February 2015

I had my first naturally. I only pushed for less than five minutes but apparently my sons head just wouldn't come out and he was in distress so the midwife did an episiotomy. She didn't numb me or anything so I felt it. I just jumped when I felt the burning sensation but it was no worse than any of the rest of the pain I was in. She numbed me before she stitched me up but honestly I felt that even more. They are very rare at the hospital I had my son at. The midwife said that was only her 4th ever and she had been doing her job for years. Just ask about it beforehand and make it clear you'd rather do (whatever your decision is.) I personally would rather have had the episiotomy than be rushed in for a c-section after laboring for 22 hours without drugs.

ohkay · February 2015

With my first I had a very small episiotomy. My doc said it didn't require a stich but she went ahead and did one anyway. She numbed me before she made the cut and if she wouldn't have told me, I wouldn't of had a clue I had one. I had no issues with it what so ever. I was afraid it would hurt when using the restroom, but it didn't.

rock2blu · February 2015

My first was 10.1lbs I had an episiotomy and tore on top of that. The worst part was how bad it hurt to pee with the stitches but my Dr. Told me to keep the toilet paper roll part and pee into that like a funnel. It was kinda messy but my Lord was it such a relief to not have that pain. With my second baby no episiotomy and no tearing, just a lot of saved to rolls lol. Like others have said sometimes you have no control over what your body decides to do while in labor so don't stress.

jessicayounghouse · February 2015

There's a lot to be scared of when you're going into that delivery room for the first time! I had an episiotomy with my first, and while it's a slightly uncomfortable recovery, it's really nothing in the scheme of things. It's easy to say this on the other side of having your first baby, but there are things that go on in that delivery room that would scare the shit out of anyone, but when you look back on it while you're holding your one week old baby, there's nothing that happened in there that you wouldn't do again!

LovelyMissLizzie · February 2015

Make sure you make it clear in your birth plan that you would prefer to tear naturally.

shannonota · February 2015

I have heard it's better for them to cut them for you to tear. My mom and a few friends have been cut and non of them had an epidural. They said with the adrenaline and the numbing medications they didn't feel a thing. I personally am scared of this too. Just hope I don't have a big headed baby lol

emshredder · February 2015

I would rather tear naturally plus you heal faster. You can have your nurse put vasiline around your cervics while you're in labor to help things go smoother. I'm going to absolutely refuse to have one.

keniialise · February 2015

I swear by coconut oil & perineum massage! With my first I tore naturally and didn't feel it at all due to the pressure of the head. The pain usually comes afterwards when you pee, so use that squeeze bottle!

with my second I decided to use coconut oil after every shower a few weeks before delivery and I walked away with no tearing, I give all the credit to the coconut oil but I don't know for sure if it was that or just a easier labor (although it didn't feel like that!)

whynot23 · February 2015

Its actually easier to heal with a clean cut. Thats why they do it. Its harder to stitch somethi.g thats been torn. Tears also can get complicated to heal.

klirwin82 · February 2015

So basically after all of these natural tears and/or episiotomies are your vaginas back to what they were? I'm most worried about it just getting totally wrecked and never regaining elasticity.

bjgilbert89 · February 2015

With my first it tore. Yeah, it hurt, of course, but in all honesty it's become a thing of the past for me. You're more excited about finally having your baby with you that you just don't care that much.
I'll definitely have a VB with my second even though there's a good chance it'll tear again. In my opinion, recovering from a tear is better than recovering from a c-section.

ChristyM87 · February 2015

shannonota said:
I have heard it's better for them to cut them for you to tear. My mom and a few friends have been cut and non of them had an epidural. They said with the adrenaline and the numbing medications they didn't feel a thing. I personally am scared of this too. Just hope I don't have a big headed baby lol

That is actually out dated. Now most doctors prefer small tears over episiotomy

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