New Job Question..Help!!

baby2mommytobe · January 2015

Hi guys,

So I just got hired to start on Monday however they don't know I'm 18 weeks preggo. In February I have two doctors appointment and I'm not sure if I should tell them stright forward on Monday that I'm 18 weeks pregnant or should I wait. I'm scared they would let me go and my husband and I sure need the extra money. What should I do?

baby2mommytobe · January 2015

Spell check pregnant

rrcameron21 · January 2015

I think you should be straight forward!! I work in retail and we always hire pregnant women. You just need to be honest that way they can accommodate you the best they can! They will be much more understanding when things come up in the future as well. As long as you're a good worker it shouldn't effect your job! Good luck

thelittlestbee · January 2015

Unfortunately, you can't keep it a secret forever. At some point you're going to have to tell them. Good luck!

mamayo26 · January 2015

Not sure where you are (country) but in the US it is illegal to not hire or to fire a woman because she is pregnant...hard to prove, but still...something good to know. I would be straight forward as soon as possible.

kimmarie1105 · January 2015

As a boss, I would be upset that you hid your pregnancy. I would feel like you were acting shady and untruthful. Tell them.

baby2mommytobe · January 2015

I will tell them frist thing on Monday.

CateOfChicago · January 2015

I would wait as long as you can to prove your worth to them. Maybe tell in a month.

oppositeflower · January 2015

I just started a new job at 19 weeks. I told them on the phone when discussing my start date. I got a congratulation from my future supervisor. Thankfully it's a job working with mothers and families. Just assure them you wanted to be considered as the best candidate for the job since you are excited to work for them. I also assured them I had no intentions of lying to them but it's up to you to add it in. Let them know asap so you can be supported by your coworkers and learn about leave when the baby comes.

karaelaine1991 · January 2015

Definitely tell them asap - honesty is the best policy. And, as PP noted, they can't fire you for being pregnant.

ruby2315 · January 2015

I wouldn't tell them on the first day (there's too much going on with training, HR, paperwork, etc.) but I'm sure you'll have some sort of onboarding or meeting with your boss after a week or so just to see how you're doing and talk about the first week, duties, etc. At that time, I would tell them you're pregnant and ask for time off or to adjust your schedule for your upcoming appointments. If you don't have any sort of meeting scheduled with your boss, I would just ask to meet with her briefly in the first week and tell her then.

rodriyessi94 · January 2015

I got fired from my job because I was pregnant. He straight up told me that's why..

karaelaine1991 · January 2015

rodriyessi94 said:
I got fired from my job because I was pregnant. He straight up told me that's why..

Then you should speak with HR and consider legal action. That's illegal.

littleT2015 · January 2015

I was hired at 13 weeks and told them. I was shaking nervous. If they don't take it well you probably don't want to be working for a company like that anyway. They can't fire you for being pregnant. So the worst would be, it would be looked down upon. Lucky for me everyone was excited and happy. They were very professional about it.

MrsFriede · January 2015

My friend did that, she's three weeks ahead of me and we met at work, her boss is my aunt-in-law and wouldn't care if she was pregnant so she literally waited until people started asking her and made them feel bad for calling her fat before sharing the truth. It's her third and it was quite funny!

But for OP I'd tell them ASAP, partly because I'm huge already but mostly because I am WAY too honest and I feel really guilty keeping secrets (like stay up at night because I can't sleep guilty)

baby2mommytobe · January 2015

I'm planning on telling them since I have tw9 appointments coming up in February. I really hope they accept it.

oppositeflower · February 2015

How did it go?

amooraxo · February 2015

karaelaine1991 said:

Definitely tell them asap - honesty is the best policy. And, as PP noted, they can't fire you for being pregnant.

Some states can fire anyone without a reason. And, it's hard to prove they fired you for being pregnant. So I wouldn't just go off the "they can't fire me" thing...

amooraxo · February 2015

It's kind of funny that all of you are saying "you can't be fired for being pregnant" because although yes, that statement is true-- you CAN get fired for just about anything else and if an employer wants to fire an employee, they will certainly find a reason and find a way. Is it ethically right to fire someone because they are pregnant? No, definitely not, and I wouldn't want to work for a company like that. However, I wouldn't feel good about one of my employees purposely hiding their pregnancy (except during the first trimester for obvious reasons). Looks like a dishonest and shady employee as others have said.

Good luck and hope your employer understands.

thelittlestbee · February 2015

amooraxo said:

It's kind of funny that all of you are saying "you can't be fired for being pregnant" because although yes, that statement is true-- you CAN get fired for just about anything else and if an employer wants to fire an employee, they will certainly find a reason and find a way. Is it ethically right to fire someone because they are pregnant? No, definitely not, and I wouldn't want to work for a company like that. However, I wouldn't feel good about one of my employees purposely hiding their pregnancy (except during the first trimester for obvious reasons). Looks like a dishonest and shady employee as others have said.

Good luck and hope your employer understands.

One of the girls at my job just announced her pregnancy (she is only 4 weeks) and her supervisor is not happy about it (she is already a terrible employee to begin with) and she just told me "it's really hard to fire someone that's pregnant" and rolled her eyes.

I think that's pretty terrible that now she is forced to keep this employee because she's afraid of letting her go while she's pregnant even though her performance has been less than stellar for a few months now. This employee is also the type that would probably sue.

staciecoffey · February 2015

I told my boss the second I found out, I was only 6 weeks and had been in my new position for 8 weeks... He was thankful that I was upfront with him and it hasn't impacted my job. Honesty is the best policy and usually when you are forth coming with this type of information, people respond well. I do think it's something you should have mentioned when discussing your start date though.

dkleid · February 2015

I told my boss when I was 11 weeks. I had been at my company for about 3 weeks when I told them. They werent mad at me at all. Instead very happy. just told me that I do not qualify for FMLA. I think its safe to say its better to be upfront with them and tell them sooner rather then later

amooraxo · February 2015

thelittlestbee said:

amooraxo said:

It's kind of funny that all of you are saying "you can't be fired for being pregnant" because although yes, that statement is true-- you CAN get fired for just about anything else and if an employer wants to fire an employee, they will certainly find a reason and find a way. Is it ethically right to fire someone because they are pregnant? No, definitely not, and I wouldn't want to work for a company like that. However, I wouldn't feel good about one of my employees purposely hiding their pregnancy (except during the first trimester for obvious reasons). Looks like a dishonest and shady employee as others have said.

Good luck and hope your employer understands.

One of the girls at my job just announced her pregnancy (she is only 4 weeks) and her supervisor is not happy about it (she is already a terrible employee to begin with) and she just told me "it's really hard to fire someone that's pregnant" and rolled her eyes.

I think that's pretty terrible that now she is forced to keep this employee because she's afraid of letting her go while she's pregnant even though her performance has been less than stellar for a few months now. This employee is also the type that would probably sue.

What state are you in?

At least if the employer can show good cause for a termination I'm sure they can do it. Although if the employee goes forth with a wrongful termination suit it can be rough.

sls2015 · February 2015

I was just offered a job at almost 20 weeks, and decided to tell HR on the day I went to fill out paperwork. I braced myself when I told her I wanted to be upfront about something from the very beginning, she braced herself, I told her, she then barely batted an eyelash and said ok. I think she was more concerned that I was going to disclose a criminal past, she almost seemed relieved. My advice is to not let yourself get so worked up over it. People have babies all the time, it's part of life, not a crime. I had a speech planned out also saying how this is only a short term circumstance, and that I still believed I was the best person for the job long term, if you want to throw that in there. Just be up front about it, so you don't feel the pressure of trying to hide it, while also making a plan with your employer for maternity leave, health insurance, etc. Besides, although the debate rages on, they'll find a way to fire you regardless if you're not a good fit for the position.

thelittlestbee · February 2015

amooraxo said:

thelittlestbee said:

amooraxo said:

SNIP

One of the girls at my job just announced her pregnancy (she is only 4 weeks) and her supervisor is not happy about it (she is already a terrible employee to begin with) and she just told me "it's really hard to fire someone that's pregnant" and rolled her eyes.

I think that's pretty terrible that now she is forced to keep this employee because she's afraid of letting her go while she's pregnant even though her performance has been less than stellar for a few months now. This employee is also the type that would probably sue.

What state are you in?
At least if the employer can show good cause for a termination I'm sure they can do it. Although if the employee goes forth with a wrongful termination suit it can be rough.

I'm in Florida.

They have plenty of good cause to fire her, but the people I work for are insanely kind and they're not going to fire a pregnant woman. The last time they "fired" someone, they let her stay until she found a new job because they felt bad essentially throwing her out on the street.

This person would definitely sue. She has gotten into 3 car accidents since she started working here and has had to go to the hospital for "back pains" for each one. She calls her attorney before calling the cops. She's just one of those people...

ChrisLipstick · February 2015

amooraxo said:

It's kind of funny that all of you are saying "you can't be fired for being pregnant" because although yes, that statement is true-- you CAN get fired for just about anything else and if an employer wants to fire an employee, they will certainly find a reason and find a way. Is it ethically right to fire someone because they are pregnant? No, definitely not, and I wouldn't want to work for a company like that. However, I wouldn't feel good about one of my employees purposely hiding their pregnancy (except during the first trimester for obvious reasons). Looks like a dishonest and shady employee as others have said.

Good luck and hope your employer understands.

This is very true. My contract is under New York law and it specifically states that I can be terminated at any time with or without cause or notice. So basically they don't have to give a reason.

Penwater1 · February 2015

Let them know after your first week.

lauraedg · February 2015

I have just been offered a job and I'm 23 weeks pregnant. I didn't tell them in the interview because I was scared they wouldn't hire me. Really unsure of how to tell them now. I hate that I'm hiding it but what can I do. I need the money.

tealbee · February 2015

amooraxo said:

thelittlestbee said:

amooraxo said:

It's kind of funny that all of you are saying "you can't be fired for being pregnant" because although yes, that statement is true-- you CAN get fired for just about anything else and if an employer wants to fire an employee, they will certainly find a reason and find a way. Is it ethically right to fire someone because they are pregnant? No, definitely not, and I wouldn't want to work for a company like that. However, I wouldn't feel good about one of my employees purposely hiding their pregnancy (except during the first trimester for obvious reasons). Looks like a dishonest and shady employee as others have said.

Good luck and hope your employer understands.

One of the girls at my job just announced her pregnancy (she is only 4 weeks) and her supervisor is not happy about it (she is already a terrible employee to begin with) and she just told me "it's really hard to fire someone that's pregnant" and rolled her eyes.

I think that's pretty terrible that now she is forced to keep this employee because she's afraid of letting her go while she's pregnant even though her performance has been less than stellar for a few months now. This employee is also the type that would probably sue.

What state are you in?

At least if the employer can show good cause for a termination I'm sure they can do it. Although if the employee goes forth with a wrongful termination suit it can be rough.

Disagree only because if they fire you for let's say .... "Not working up to capacity within there expectations" a lawyer is gonna look at you with your reasoning of "they fired me because I'm pregnant" and tell you there's a slim chance you'll win. It's probably really hard to go forth with a case like that. Just my opinion.

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