18yrld 6wks..help on how to hide a few months.

CBeane18 · January 2015

I know a lot of you are going to say that I need to tell her because I will want her in my life while I'm pregnant..but that's not the case, there's a lot of conflict between us to the point I have moved multiple times away but she keeps calling cops to make me come back...I am moving to go to college in a state 8 hours away with my feince(aka the daddy). If she finds out before I leave then I won't go to college I'll be stuck here. Plus, she said if I get pregnant then I will have an abortion, or it will be put up for adoption.. The daddy is 21 and that is the only reason why she can do something. My sisters and my brother know and are trying to help..but they haven't had to hide something like this from her...HELP PLEASE..!!!!

bzonie07 · January 2015

Pretty sure if your 18 there's nothing your mom can do. But I highly suggest telling her. She's been through pregnancy before and can help support you through all the questions and concerns you have.

Good luck!

rablissful · January 2015

If you are 18 then you are a legal adult. She has no guardianship of you and the cops will not bring you back. They can't. She also can't force you to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption. The doctors/lawyers would need YOUR signature for any of that and if you refuse to sign there's nothing your mother can do.

rae71583 · January 2015

I understand how hard it is to tell your mom, especially since your so young. I got pregnant with my first when I was 19 and grew up in a catholic family that never had any babies out of wedlock. I was terrified to tell them and actually hide this for a little over 5 months. The fact of the matter is; your 18 you are an adult. This is your body and she cannot force adoption or abortion. This is your decision! My parents took it VERY hard. I'm not going to lie or sugar coat this. Your mom will be pissed but its better to get it out of the way, tell your mom the truth and don't wait as long as I did. Frankly, yes my parents were mad but they got over it and have a BEAUTIFUL relationship with my, now, 11 year old son and they have since the day he was born. I am now 31, married, and working on my 3rd child! This was also a "pleasant surprise" baby and for some reason scared to tell my mom. I know situations are different here, but I was once in your shoes and what I have learned is; your mom loves you and only wants the best for you. She knows you are going to make mistakes in your life but a good mom will try to prevent life changing mistakes to happen. She wants to protect her baby. You will understand this!! Yes she will get mad, cry, and even yell.. She is scared for you!! My life was EXTREMELY hard as a young mom. I had to quite college, I worked as a waitress, I gave up everything and was a single mother. The father left after I was 6months pregnant. I was alone. I struggled financially, emotionally and physically. You give your life to your kids. You want them to have everything they need. I know the reason why emotions will run high with your mom is because she is going to feel that she failed somewhere, she was not there to save you from a hard life. Don't judge your mom, I can tell she loves you or she would not have called the police to get you home. GOOD LUCK!!!

shaunnar053 · January 2015

If you're 18 she can't make you do anything. She sounds toxic honestly.. And crazy controlling. Telling you you'd have to get an abortion or adoption if you'd ever get pregnant?? That's insane. My opinion is you and your fiance need to step out into your own if you want to be an actual adult. You both need to get jobs and start supporting yourselfs if your mom is really that bad and you want to get out from under her thumb. If you're still completely dependent on her, idk what to tell you other then your going to have to tell her. Good luck girl.

Asmith1552 · January 2015

At 18 I really did not think my mom would be accepting of my situation I found out when I was 5 months pregnant and too late to have an abortion. I'm not sure what my plans where but when it finally did come out she was forced to realize I'm no longer her baby. Raising a baby and going to college was very difficult but I did it at 18 and got a masters degree. Moms. Not always are easy but they have more life experiences that can help. With out the help from my whole family i would not have been able to get this far in life. Although i didn't go away to college but I was able to move out with my boyfriend who got us an apartment. My mom was right there when I delivered and helped me with. All the things I never read in a book about having a baby. What happens to relationships around you your body. Give your mom more credit than you are! Now that my baby is 19 and away at college I would never want her to feel like she coul not talk to me and to go though one of life's miracles without my love. Oh and I'm super strict and sometimes crazy, but I only wanted the best out of my children. You will soon know the love that has no boundaries when you have your baby. I hope this helps you.

Cupcakequeen1000 · January 2015

Well your adult even if you were 17 at the time they cant legally do anything. If you feel that uncomfortable telling her then wait until you at least get up there first, wear those cute tops that flow and stretchy pants or just buy bigger size jeans that should help get you through a couple months. Wishing you luck!!!

bpv101283 · February 2015

I don't have much to add except to give you encouragement. No one is allowed to tell you what to do with your body or baby. What may seem like a major hardship or difficult time will feel less so in the future. I had a terrible relationship with my parents until my kid twenties and now we are very close. I did not have your experience but if I was you I would get myself together and ready first before I approached her about it. I would have working plans about school, housing, income, etc figured out first. Or at least show that i and the baby's dad were serious about being parents. If he is great, if not you will have to make those plans for yourself. You shouldn't be putting so much stress on yourself, it's important to stay calm and healthy when you are pregnant. If possible, I would avoid her. What I learned about my mom after 30 years is to just shut up. When she says something crazy or mean I just get up and remove myself or say goodbye and hang up the phone. I don't fight. There's no winners. Good luck.

mlindon · February 2015

You're an adult which comes with options and responsibility. Your mom has zero legal control over you except she can forbid you to live at her house. Parental income does count toward financial aid for college unless your married or have a child. Once either of those happen you would probably qualify for financial aid that could help with living expenses too.

CBeane18 · February 2015

Thank yu guys, and I was 17 when I got pregnant. I just turned 18 last week. She has a lot of friends that are cops, and have extremely high positions in law. Thank you guys for helping. I need the support, me and her got into yet another fight again last night.

CBeane18 · February 2015

Thank yu guys, y'all are a lot of help. And we already have college and job times worked out for when we move and I give birth, he's going to watch the little one while in at school then I'm going to when I get home an he goes to work, but until I have the baby, he is going to work doubles for more income since I will not be working until my kid is a little over 5or6 months, then a baby sitter comes in. But thank you sooooo much yu guys.!!!

18yrld 6wks..help on how to hide a few months.

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