June 2015 Moms

Total AW: DH outta line?

I know there's another thread about not-so-good DH's, but this isn't quite as serious an issue and is intended to be a bit light hearted.

So it's my AS tomorrow and DH knows I'm silly nervous about it. I've over-read and am overly worrying and realise that's my own issue and not his fault.

However, despite knowing I'm a bit scared, DH is currently out at a superbowl party! To clarify, we're in London, England - kick off isn't until 11.30 pm (in an hour) and he couldn't even tell you how American Football is played or who is playing - he's just there for a good time.

As he won't get home until around 5.30 am (and he's already pretty boozed) I've told him to stay at a friend's. He keeps calling and texting, mainly out of guilt, and says he'd come home if I asked - but I hate being one of those ball and chainers and he knows I won't do that as I think he should know himself what's right rather than me telling him.

So I'm in bed already just getting angrier and angrier that he doesn't realise himself that he should be here giving me reassuring cuddles! At this rate I will be getting no sleep whatsoever. As it's late on a Sunday night I can't sound off to my friends.

So, opinions please, is he being a selfish knobhead or do I only have myself to blame for being a neurotic whiner?

Re: Total AW: DH outta line?

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  • I barely slept the night before my A/S, and my husband was home. I was also nervous and honestly he was driving me crazy...so it might be one of those situations that he couldn't win. Haha. I agree with PP-if you want him to come home tell him to come home. Good luck tomorrow!!!
  • It probably a little of him being a knob and your anxiety. I've learned that if I want my DH to do something, I need to ask. He can't read my mind. If I were you I would just tell him that you're extremely nervous and would feel better if he were home.
    • Married 6/1/2012
    • BFP #1 - 11/17/2012 -  MC 12/10/2012
    • BFP #2 - 2/12/2013 - EDD 10/17/2013 - DD Born 10/10/2013
    • BFP #3 - 1/29/2014 - Ectopic pregnancy discovered 1/31/2014
    • BFP #4 - 9/28/2014 - EDD 6/4/2015 - DS Born 5/31/2015


  • I'm sorry you're worried. It's one of those things that worrying doesn't help. What will be will be. I have my A/S on Tuesday and I too have butterflies, but try to just remain in a positive frame of mind about the whole thing. Chances are, everything will turn out great. If an issue arises, you and DH will find a way to process it all. As for DH going out with his buddies, I say good for him. Some advise from a STM, life is about to change in a major way for you both, so while baby is still safely growing inside of you and his responsibility is relatively nill, let him enjoy his time with his bros. Before you know it, his buddies will still be out partying and he'll be home bouncing your little bundle of joy in his arms with spitup on his shirt...life totally changed. I'm with the PP who said enjoy this alone time with a nice bath and a chick flick. You deserve some nice me time!!
  • Thanks for all the replies ladies. Sigh - looks like I just have to take this one on the chin.

    @lovethatcolosun‌ I totally get what you're saying, and believe me I am very pro him going out with his buddies - he has three trips abroad planned before "splashdown" (as he calls it) and has a very active social life. I was just hoping that this one night he'd kinda just want to make sure I was okay without me having to spell it out.

    I'm gonna try and get some sleep at it's gone midnight here now. Go seahawks?! ;)
  • Addelie said:

    Thanks for all the replies ladies. Sigh - looks like I just have to take this one on the chin.

    @lovethatcolosun‌ I totally get what you're saying, and believe me I am very pro him going out with his buddies - he has three trips abroad planned before "splashdown" (as he calls it) and has a very active social life. I was just hoping that this one night he'd kinda just want to make sure I was okay without me having to spell it out.

    I'm gonna try and get some sleep at it's gone midnight here now. Go seahawks?! ;)

    Midnight here too. Try and get some sleep. I'm suffering from insomnia at the moment. SO sound asleep beside me.. Urgh. But really you said he is texting you and whatever which means he is thinking of you. Men are strange creatures. They need to be told. Where as we say things and we may not mean them completely. We say ''yeah.. Go out have fun..'' What we sometimes mean is ''please decide not too and see that I need your cuddles..'' We expect them to suss that and we get pouty when they don't.. I know I do! Especially when we don't want to appear clingy or needy. They are simple. We are stubborn :). It'll all be okay.. Hopefully anything I said above made some sense haha.
    Our Anniversary:- 06.02.2014
    Our LOs ED: - 06.04.2015

    romantic movie couple for February:- Damon & Elena
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  • @C6091‌ Ah dammit - you talk sense. Simple vs. stubborn is a very good way of describing me and DH tonight :) It's 1am and i'm starting to calm down the earlier fuckedoffness....

    I hope you manage to get some sleep. Insomnia is horrendous, especially with a perfectly content DH snoozing away beside you :)
  • Addelie said:

    @C6091‌ Ah dammit - you talk sense. Simple vs. stubborn is a very good way of describing me and DH tonight :) It's 1am and i'm starting to calm down the earlier fuckedoffness....

    I hope you manage to get some sleep. Insomnia is horrendous, especially with a perfectly content DH snoozing away beside you :)

    I hope all goes well tomorrow. It's a big day and no doubt you'll be tired. You make sure DH makes it up to you though :). Also, will you be woken by him coming home :(?
    Our Anniversary:- 06.02.2014
    Our LOs ED: - 06.04.2015

    romantic movie couple for February:- Damon & Elena
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  • AddelieAddelie member
    edited February 2015
    @C6091‌ When i was in a huff earlier I said he may as well stay at his friend's rather than come home and disturb me - so he's taken me up on my kind offer!
  • AddelieAddelie member
    edited February 2015
    @C6091‌ TB deleted half my post above. I said I hope you're hanging in there with your insomnia.

    TB won't let me post a zillion sheep emoticons :)
  • Best of luck tomorrow! I'm sure everything will be perfect.
  • As my husband says "don't play games" and "don't fcuk around with my head"... meaning -- that I should tell him exactly what I want and what I need, no guessing games, non of that "you should know what I want shit" cuz let's just admit, men's brains do not function the same way as ours. 
    Married: 28 August 2014
    BFP #1: 11 October 2014
    EDD: 22 June 2015 -- updated DD: 20 June 2015


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  • amooraxo said:

    As my husband says "don't play games" and "don't fcuk around with my head"... meaning -- that I should tell him exactly what I want and what I need, no guessing games, non of that "you should know what I want shit" cuz let's just admit, men's brains do not function the same way as ours. 

    Agreed...


    They believe you when you say stuff.. If you say nothing is wrong.. They won't go looking into it to find out if you are taking the truth. Save yourself the sleepless nights next time and tell him exactly how you feel.
  • I would be fine with him going out but not getting loaded or getting home that late. The game is 3 hours, not 6!
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    Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks.  Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks.  Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!

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