am I just over reacting? (MIL involved)

cecilespies · February 2015

So, I'm just over 17 weeks and not put on any weight, I actually lost a little and not showing yet! We visit my parents in law quite often and as walk in their home my MIL says (before even greeting me) "oh look who's getting fat" thats her exact words. And this happened 3 times already. ~X(
I felt like replying with "I see it's not just me" but im not mean enough lol

NSAnderson0313 · February 2015

Nope @cecilespies you're not overreacting. I know myself and I'd probably say something snarky to her cause I can barely control myself in those kinds of situations.

If you are a little more calm than me try talking to your husband and asking him to address this with his mom.

mrspark812 · February 2015

Ditto what PP said.... have your DH say something to his mom about how hurtful that is.

WSatisfiedP · February 2015

We had our reveal the other night. Then yesterday morning my mil came over...she said, "you're not as big as you looked last night!"

I was like WTF, I haven't gained a lb this pregnancy yet

Ckorines · February 2015

I'm so sick of all the fat jokes. Every person thinks it's a free pass to comment on your body. I have always been underweight and as soon as I'm pregnant, you can see a difference in my shape. I'm so tempted to junk punch the next person who says anything smart. Clearly, I don't think you're overreacting.

mrspark812 · February 2015

Ckorines said:
I'm so sick of all the fat jokes. Every person thinks it's a free pass to comment on your body. I have always been underweight and as soon as I'm pregnant, you can see a difference in my shape. I'm so tempted to junk punch the next person who says anything smart. Clearly, I don't think you're overreacting.

When I was pregnant with DD I got big fast and people kept asking if I was sure it wasn't twins. I told DH next person to ask is getting punched in the face!!! So rude!

Ckorines · February 2015

I had a lady at my work grab my love handle and say, "look how fat you are getting!" I told her I was pregnant and asked her what her excuse was. With this pregnancy junk-punches will suffice.

mnj05 · February 2015

My FIL says that kind of thing when I'm not pregnant, let alone when I actually am. DH and I joke about that but I think it's inappropriate for anyone else to unless you've got that kind of relationship. I'm too nice to say anything back, I feel your pain.

lcourter24 · February 2015

No not at all! My mom text me after my last appt and asked how it went and I told her baby seems good, heart rate was 140 and I gained 5 lbs in a month. Which my midwife said was totally normal at this point. Her response was geez fatty!!! My response back was I'm pregnant, what's your excuse.

That shut her up real quick!

keniialise · February 2015

When I was pregnant with my first we didn't wait to share the news, we were just so excited. Anyways my point, I was around 5 weeks along (115lbs) and my husband's friend goes " oh wow I can really tell, congratulations!" --- my response was " you must be in your third trimester then!" Shut him right up.

amhoover88 · February 2015

@mrspark812‌ I couldn't agree more! I told my DH in slapping the next person who asks if I'm sure it's not twins. People are so rude! Even before experiencing pregnancy I would have never thought to make a comment about a mom to be and her weight!

GSUDavis · February 2015

Ckorines said:

I'm so sick of all the fat jokes. Every person thinks it's a free pass to comment on your body. I have always been underweight and as soon as I'm pregnant, you can see a difference in my shape. I'm so tempted to junk punch the next person who says anything smart. Clearly, I don't think you're overreacting.

"Junk punch"! haha I'm dying and I'm totally gonna have to steal that one! =D
Ckorines said, go for the junk punch!! =D

jodifredericksen · February 2015

I'd bitch slap her. Ok no but for real, ask her what her excuse is. I am sure it'll be the last time you hear that.

sschwege · February 2015

Yup, gotten that one from my MIL, mostly with my first. I just ignored it because it didn't bother me that much, but my SIL who was pregnant at the same time must have said something to her because she stopped saying it.

You have every right to be annoyed and say something or have your husband say something. You could always start with a more casual, "UM, it's not fat it's a baby!" Perhaps she would take the hint, if not definitely be more direct!

juliekay25 · February 2015

My FAM was visiting for the weekend and I was in the kitchen getting supper ready and my dad goes "your look pregnant" commenting on my belly. I said do u want this food or not. He just laughed. He said this at 3 months too. I don't think I have a belly yet.

mrsg27 · February 2015

I lost about 10lbs during the first trimester and my obgyn said by the next appt I need to at least gain 3lbs and it's been hard since a lot of food is still not appetizing to me. I called my mom this morning and told her I was able to gain a pound and she gasped and said "don't gain too much!" One pound and I get the don't get fat lecture.

chelsea13elyse · February 2015

This is my FIL. He had all boys so I don't think he understands what is acceptable and unacceptable in terms of females. All four of us daughter in laws have dealt with his comments when pregnant. He'll call us like fat or chubby or fatty etc, in a completely joking manner but when you are hormonal and gaining weight that's just not okay. It hasn't happened this time yet but I'm just waiting and when it happens I will not bite my tongue this time

cecilespies · February 2015

I agree @chelsea13elyse‌ my MIL only had boys and I feel a sense of competition now and then. I'll have to talk to my husband about it. I just don't want to make the relationship go bad. She's one lady you don't mess with

k3taeko · February 2015

mrsg27 said:
I lost about 10lbs during the first trimester and my obgyn said by the next appt I need to at least gain 3lbs and it's been hard since a lot of food is still not appetizing to me. I called my mom this morning and told her I was able to gain a pound and she gasped and said "don't gain too much!" One pound and I get the don't get fat lecture.

That's how my mom responds to me but I know she doesn't mean anything rude by it. She just says it because she's worried about me gaining too much because a we all know, there is a healthy limit and an unhealthy amount of weight you can gain during pregnancy. If you can't tell, she was one of those that gained an unhealthy amount and just wants to look out for her daughter

but as for the MIL, you set that woman straight! That is plain rude

kladd7182 · February 2015

I find any comment about the way I look offensive when I'm pregnant. When people ask "what are you having?" I like to respond with "hopefully a human". "You're huge" the come back is "well at least I have an excuse". When are you due is met with, "I'm not, I'm just fat". If anyone rubs my belly univited I rub theirs back and ask how they like it. Just because you're pregnant it's not a free pass for people to be nosey, hurtful, or to touch you. I don't care who it is. I'm just a massive bitch like that though.

FirstTimeDaddy81 · February 2015

She shouldn't make comments like that. I'd recommend having your husband pull his mother aside to let her know that those comments need to stop, but a snarky comment due to your pregnancy hormones wouldn't be out of line if she does it again.

jessicayounghouse · February 2015

All of us hate the comments about how big we're getting. With my first, we hadn't seen my mother in law since we found out and I was about half way through the pregnancy and the first thing she said to me when she saw me was, Wow! You're getting big! The only words I could muster back were, No shit. And I walked away.

am I just over reacting? (MIL involved)

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