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Feeling Down

sweetkendallsweetkendall member
in Secondary IF
I'm doing a long Lupron IVF cycle (our first IVF after 5 clomid/IUI) and I'm just feeling down.  I've been on birth control for two and a half weeks and tonight will be my 5th dose of .20 mL Lupron.  I am just feeling like it's all taking forever to get to the stim phase which won't start until Feb 2.  I'm just feeling like everyone around me is pregnant.  I feel like everyone I know on Facebook has 2 or 3 or 4 kids.  I don't understand why I can't get pregnant.  I also found out at my appointment earlier this week that I am at increased risk for OHSS because of how many resting follicles I have and that we might not be able to do a fresh embryo transfer if my levels go too high.  That was new information to me and it sucks.  When we decided to do IVF, I didn't realize that it was going to be 6 weeks from my period to egg retrieval and then there is a possibility that we can't put embryos back right away.  If that's the case, it will be another month before we can do a FET at an additional cost.  All I want to do is cry and eat chocolate and sweets.  Is this the meds or just the insane roller coaster of emotions that is infertility?
Clomid/IUI #1 Feb 2010- BFN
Clomid/IUI #2 Mar 2010 - BFP April 2010 DD born Dec 2010 :-)
Started TTC #2 Dec 2011 
IUI #3-5 Aug thru Oct 2014 - BFN
HSG revealed one blocked tube but was unblocked during procedure
IUI #6 and 7 Nov/Dec 2014 - BFN
IVF #1 Feb 2015 - 19 eggs retrieved, ZERO fertilized initially, 2 fertilized with rescue ICSI, then 2 more then following day, all 4 frozen
FET #1 planned for mid-March

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Re: Feeling Down

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    FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    I would say it's both.  The drugs make me so emotional and IF is such a mindfluck.  I'm so sorry you are feeling so down.  ((HUGS))





    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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    fuzzbumblefuzzbumble member
    Agreed with @Frenchteachermama‌ it's both. It's shitty and it sucks.

    Don't get too worried about things like that in your cycle. OHSS was our main concern going in and I walked away with seven retrieved/three fertilized eggs. Not much risk there! You won't know how you're going to respond until it's already happened.

    I know it's taking forever, but once you start stims pretty soon you'll be waiting for transfer. There's always something to wait for. Nature of infertility. Waiting.

    image

    June 19, 2010 - Miracle Baby Girl

    Round 2
    Since March 2013
    BFP April 2013 - Missed M/C July 2013 @ 12w6d
    BFP December 2013 - CP @ 4w3d
    Eight medicated cycles, three IUIs: FAIL
    IVF #1 Antagonist - January 2015: CP/FAIL

    IVF #2 April 2015: Microdose lupron Flare
    ICSI, CCS Freeze all
    6 blasts biopsied/5 normal

    FET #1 June 25, 2015 6AA and 5AA blast transfer
    BFP 3dp5dt!
    Beta 8dp5dt 195.2, 10dp5dt 474.8, 12dp5dt 977, 22dp5dt 25,580
    <3 Twins! Our boy and girl coming end of February!  <3

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    Jen071407Jen071407 member
    I agree with the others, it's definitely both. This roller coaster plain ol' sucks. It feels like all you do is wait, just so you wait for the next thing. I've found Netflix and Hulu to be a great source of distraction :!!

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

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    sugarplum513sugarplum513 member
    I agree with the other gals, it's both. Big hugs!
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    AprilDrew04AprilDrew04 member
    IVF does seem like a long process. Just keep looking ahead and hoping for the best.

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    DD conceived after 3 years of ttc.
    MFI - DH had varicocele repair and took Clomid to get DD b. 02/2010

    TTC #2 since 6/2010
    10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
    A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013. 
    DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair. 
    Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies. 
    Wishing, hoping, waiting.


    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickersLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

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    FreshBakedBrowniesFreshBakedBrownies member
    Having lots of resting follicles can be a great thing- lots of potential eggs as then embryos! I've been through ivf many times and the waiting for each step can drive you crazy. It's definitely a roller coaster of emotions (ie-you get good news in one step and get all excited, then something happens where you think the whole cycle was a flop, then you get great news about something else, etc). It's exhausting! In the time period before starting your stims, I find exercising to be a great stress relief. Then reading really great books and watching movies when you're in the middle of it and need to rest a bit more. Good luck!
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