Not excited...anybody else feel this way?

Re: Not excited...anybody else feel this way?

• devyns2nd member

  January 2015

  I can't completely relate but I have wondered how I could love anyone more than my daughter. She's four too and I had so many miscarriages I had given up ttc. I'm thankful for my pregnancy and know I love my DS too but will I love him the same?? I think it's an irrational fear some moms have. You are going threw a hard time and focusing on pregnancy would be hard. You will be over the moon when your LO arrives. I think STM have to adjust just as much as FTM just in different ways.

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• thelittlestbee member

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  lbrand0925 said:

  Hey Mommas! I've been a lurker more or less since I got my BFP. This will be my second child and this time around is completely different than with my 1st. I found out I was pregnant after me and the father broke up. I couldn't bring myself to terminate for multiple reasons, and I don't regret that decision, however I'm not at all excited about this pregnancy. I figured by now (20 weeks) that I would be. The father has little to no interest in the pregnancy, and refuses to show up to doctor appointments--- even my ultrasound to find out the gender next week. He hates the names I picked out, however I've decided he doesn't get a say in the matter since he has had minimal involvement. I'm also scared I'm not going to love this baby like I do my 4 y/o daughter....(I was super excited when I became pregnant with her) Is anybody else in a similar boat as far as not jumping up and down with joy for our little ones to arrive?

  I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can't imagine being in your shoes and being thrilled to be pregnant, so I think your feelings are justified. Your baby's father sounds like jerk, so maybe in the long run it will be for the best. Maybe someone better will come into your life down the road. Also, I don't think you will love your baby any less after he/she is born. It's just going to be a completely different experience than what you had with your first, and that's ok... 

  
  

  Do you have a good support group (friends or family) that you can lean on? 

  

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• annatta79 member

  January 2015

  Given your situation, I think it is totally understandable not to be as excited as before. I am a STM as well and it just isn't the same "everything is new and exciting" sort of experience as with your first. Before I started showing and being so uncomfortable, there were days I totally forgot I was pregnant!
  
  I've worried too that I won't be able to love this son as much as I love my 14 month old. I think every mom has that fear and every mom I've talked to says it just isn't true. A friend of mine had her second just today and she posted on FB that she had been worried she wouldn't be as in love with #2, but that was a totally unfounded fear.
  
  Don't worry mama, I think everything you are feeling is normal. Just focus on making sure you are doing the best you can for all 3 of you and is sounds like you are doing just that.
  

    Blessed Mama to the sweetest boy in the world (11/9/13), one angel baby, and two fur babies: Mattie Dog and Stanley Cat.
  

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• staciecoffey member

  January 2015

  As a FTM, I can't sympathize but my cousin wondered if she would be able to love her second daughter as much as her first. It was a constant stuggle for her the entire pregnancy. But once they out little Quinn in her arms, she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she loved her just as much as Katie.
  
  I'm sorry your situation isn't iseal and that you're having to go through this without him. Hopefully he'll either come to his senses or the right man will come into your life.

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• Dpatto93 member

  January 2015

  I'm not excited though this pregnancy either. This is my second, I have a 2yo son. This pregnancy has been a nightmare, I've had 10 scans upto now because of a complication and was told to expect to loose the baby at any point. I'm finaly in the clear but I'm still not excited as I was with my son. I think it's because of the complications and having my toddler to run after.

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• girlymama79 member

  January 2015

  I'm sorry your going through this. Before I had dd2 I wondered how I could love her as much as I loved dd1 and I was excited to have her. I just felt like my heart was already full. The instant she was I my arms it was like my heart grew and there was more than enough room to love two girls to the moon and back.

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  Angel baby 3/2014 at 5.5 weeks

  Angel baby 6/2014 MMC at 7.5 weeks

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• juliep91080 member

  January 2015

  I think that's a normal fear. I'm sure the second you hold this new baby your heart will be right where it's suppose to be.

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