On my own now

pauladuran763 · January 2015

My boyfriend just left me. I'm due May 27th with twins. I don't know how to get through this. I'm older and never planned on having more kids until he talked me into it. How can things go so wrong so quick? I feel like I can't handle this

jennilarkspur · January 2015

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! Do you have family, church, etc that you can lean on?

pauladuran763 · January 2015

I have great parents but I feel like such a failure

jennilarkspur · January 2015

Oh no, sweetie. The hardest times are breakups!! Add pregnancy and I can't imagine how much of a mess you must be over this. It's normal to FEEL like a failure right now, but you are NOT. You will need to move through the steps to acceptance as quickly as possible for your babies! If you have a church, see if they can help with getting you a Counselor to help get you through this as strong and prepared and as whole as possible!

MissRissx3 · January 2015

First let me say that I am so sorry you have to go through this, and especially pregnant. I don't know exactly what to say to make you feel any better, but you will be in my thoughts. Break ups are horrible, I know. Just gotta keep trying and keep fighting for your LO. ❤

lyefimova · January 2015

You r a strong woman and can do this all by your self. It sucks that he is stupid but you will get through this and will have two wonderful caring children with you for the ever. Sometimes it's even nice being by your self. No male mess to clean up, you want to do something just do it with out having to get his opinion or ok to do so.

rivers714 · January 2015

I found out the dad of my little one had a serious gf of three years. Everything he told me was a lie. It sucks. You aren't supposed to be pregnant alone. You are supposed to have a support system... I go through ups and downs what I do know is this: as a single mom of an 8 year old you are about to embark on the hardest most fulfilling job/experience of your life, your little ones will always be there - there's no guarantee a relationship will work.
You find out who your friends are, we are having a blizzard here. I've had two people text me to shovel me out already.You see how many blessings you have, you see how strong you are.. And you gain all the more from the dads losses

saric83 · January 2015

I'm so sorry you're going through this!! There's nothing helpful I can really add, but you can do this, and it WILL get better.

shelles423 · January 2015

Watch gabeandjess on YouTube. She's a single mom of four. . Two of which are twins.. and she's only like 25. She has a lot of good and positive advise. It may help you to watch her to know that you can do it.

Shanfrey82 · January 2015

Oh sweet girl, that sucks! For lack of any better word, it absolutely sucks!! But please don't get down on yourself or take on a feeling of failure, you've failed at nothing.... He walked away, he is the failure. You just focus on yourself and those babies!! Look to your family to support and love you. Lots of prayers and positive energy coming your way.

sunnysidexup · January 2015

Keep pushing through it and find those that are REALLY your support system. You can do it. Sorry you have to go through this.

laurenbrnwed · January 2015

Stay strong, you can do it! I'm sorry that you have this extra stress on your plate!

khaleesi123 · January 2015

What a deadbeat! At least you now are going to have beautiful twins that will bring you all the happiness in The world that he could never compete with!

sassymama15 · January 2015

You can do it, I know it's hard but you can push through it. You need to be strong for those babies!

blaberge · January 2015

I don't know if you're religious, but God wouldn't bring you to it, if He couldn't bring you through it. I have been a single mother to my 8 year old daughter since day one, and it was the hardest most rewarding thing I've managed to do in my life. And I believe that because of what I endured, I learned a lot about myself, and that shaped me into who I am now, and I'm now married to the most amazing man who is now helping me raise my daughter, while expecting his own as well. Keep your head up mama.

sailaplay · January 2015

My father left my mother when she was pregnant and she always said that she got through by realizing that the reason she got with him was so that she could have me. You needed to have these babies and without this experience you wouldn't have them. Everything for a reason.

manacita · January 2015

I'm sorry hon. I think everyone else has covered the advice part, so I'll just offer a huge virtual hug. You can do this. Xoxo

louloutte87 · January 2015

What a dick. I hope he comes to regret his dickwadery when in a years time you are a fabulous single mummy who rocks without him.

As for you, all the other ladies have fab advice, but big soppy Internet hugs and don't you dare feel like it's your fault!!!!

blankenbakerh · January 2015

So sorry! That sucks!! Breakups are tough especially pregnant! I was a single mom to my oldest two before I met my DH! You can do this!! It's not always easy but you can do it! Being a mother whether with someone or not is an incredibly rewarding experience! You don't feel like it now but you will be strong for your babies. You will be an awesome mother! You are not a failure! He is the failure! I don't know if you are a Christian but I know for me learning to trust in God and lean on him helped me so much! I will be praying for you.

sugar9277 · January 2015

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. On a financial note, should you go ahead and speak to an attorney about child support? I'm not in the legal field myself, but maybe someone here knows more about this?

eternalrose · January 2015

blaberge said:

God wouldn't bring you to it, if He couldn't bring you through it.

Truth. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I agree with all PPs. Get a support system going now - looking into single moms groups for support, church, etc.

leelee72 · January 2015

So sorry to hear this. I am sure you are a strong woman and will be able to find the strength to do this. God only gives us what we can handle! I know this may not be what u want to hear. But maybe him leaving will b the best thing for you and your baby. Everything happens for a reason I truly believe this. Maybe he needs to find himself and mature, but there is something bigger and better out there for you and your new bundle of joy. We are all here to help you through this. Bless you both.

peteresa · January 2015

Hopefully he will come to his senses and return before long, sometimes men also go through strange hormonal issues during your pregnancy as they try and cope with the changes in life that are impeding. I'm sure everything will work out in time, just don't get down on yourself since your babies need you to be there for them regardless of what their daddy decides to do!

guppyNme · January 2015

First off I'm so sorry... Secondly, you can do this! You are going to do wonderfully! Yeah it may suck now but you are atrong and you will find the courage to get through this little bump in the road. Later you can look back and say "dang! Look what I did!" It will all work out for the best, just have faith!

JuliaRL · January 2015

Just agreeing with everyone else here: find your strength and love in your LOs and you'll get through this! People love you and will help you. And definitely seek legal help. He's gonna pay up!

Thoughts and prayers are with you!

Amypagel · January 2015

You're no failure, you will make it through this. Just telling yourself everything will be okay. Yes things will be a struggle and a challeng at times but you will make it through! What doesn't kill you only makes you strong... Clique but true. You will gain so much knowledge and strength from this experience. I understand your worry, my partner did the same to me. It's hard to except but it is what it is and we can only make the best of it! You will be a beautiful woman and your children will see that! Equanimity in every situation will help you get through the hardships. When you get upset just take a few deep breaths, calm your mind, remind yourself that you will be okay and that you are a warrior(not a failure).

ktzen3 · January 2015

I am sorry. It seems so unfair and must feel so overwhelming. I hope as time goes on you find strength in the many amazing single mothers who have done this before you. Lean on that knowledge, knowing they did it and so can you. Big hugs!

nightdreamer98 · January 2015

Nothing new to add I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through this.

I hope you get the support you need.

yasminhosny · January 2015

Sorry to say. But fuck him very much!! If he doesnt want to be there, then he can go to hell.

Sijustella · January 2015

First of all, he is an idiot. Secondly, my friend's 'partner' broke up with her in the hospital room immediately after she birthed twins. It was really hard initially but she got supports in place and those children are some of the happiest, healthiest and intelligent little ones I've ever met. You can do this mate.

vintagemom42 · January 2015

Why men choose such an awful timing I will never be able to understand. It's hard as hell.... but don't you dare to call yourself a failure. You are currently assisting God in a miracle! Life is coming forth through you! I am currently in the same situation. Cry if you have to, but you have to keep in mind your babies need you in your best shape. It gets better each day. One day, one fight. At the end of the day, we end up being more beautiful and stronger than ever. And they pay the price of being cowards many times over! Big hugs. You can and you will do this! God doesn't give us things we can't handle.

mamajama3 · January 2015

Hang in there and know that your little ones will be there for you no matter what and they really need you. Shame on him, but best to find out now so that you can move on with your life. It will be hard going it alone but better to go it alone if he is not man enough to be a great partner and father. You're in my thoughts and prayers and just know this- you can totally do this!!

Rosie3rd · January 2015

What a horrible situation, but everyone's right. You will get through this and be stronger and better for it. My SIL's deadbeat husband left her when she had 6 month old twins and had just discovered she was pregnant again. She is now happily divorced from that scum, joined a gym to get alone time and feel strong again (using the crèche) and now has a wonderful boyfriend who is a better father to her kids than he ex ever was. Something better will come your way, just have faith that you can make it through this tough time.

luce3103 · January 2015

My husband and I just separated 3 months ago. This is the hardest thing I've been through. I just try my best to plan out a way to make this ok for my family. I am scared poopless and sad as hell, some days I barely get out of bed besides work. I hope it helps you to know that you're not alone. I didn't want to have a baby on my own either. I love babies, but I was a single mom before getting married and didn't want to struggle with two kids on my own. Sending lots of love your way, you will find your way.

CrystalEve12 · January 2015

I can't imagine how hard this would be, so I definitely feel for you. HOWEVER, I have a friend who had twins in the same situation you are in. Her babies father left and never came back. He has yet to see her children. She remained strong and those babies are healthy, happy and wonderful. I have so much respect and admiration for her having done it ALL BY HERSELF. I know that doesn't make your situation any easier, but just know that it can be done. Seriously. Your family and friends will lift you up during this time, I promise!

swiftrr · January 2015

So sorry your in this position. But you will be fine, you and baby will be ok. I raised my first by myself from when she was 2, I was 18. We are mother daughter and best friends now.

juliaharr · January 2015

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think you will be just fine and be a great mother. I know a woman who went through the same thing. It's been 18 years since her twin girls were born and they are the most wonderful girls I have ever met. She is now a doctor and both girls are in college. She did it all by herself, with no family to lean on. I hope everything goes well!

valencia2b · January 2015

My heart goes out to you but you are strong and will make it through this. Not sure where you are located but if you ever need to talk I'm here. Women need to stick together.

mars8k · February 2015

How does him wussing out make YOU. A failure?!
Forget him, ask your parents for help and soon enough you'll have 2 more reasons to live

Stay strong, good luck with everything

NanSee3 · February 2015

I haven't yet read through all the other responses to know what advice you've been given but wanted to add some encouragement. I obviously don't know the circumstances of your split up...is the dad going to be involved at all? Will you have a relationship with his family? ABOVE ALL THAT YOU ARE FEELING, REMEMBER THIS: you won't always feel as crappy as you do right now. You WILL eventually move beyond this pain. I also promise that at some point fairly soon, you will look at your babies and know a love TOTALLY UNLIKE anything you've ever felt. And periodically after that realization you will look at each of those babies and be amazed that as in love as you were with YOUR BABIES a week/month/whenever you will realize you are even more in love at that moment. If your relationship is not salvageable (or worth salvaging), just please believe me when I tell you that one day you WILL look back on the relationship with him and not feel like you were kicked in the stomach. You can do this!!

destinymiel · February 2015

They all gave you the best words but i want you to know that you are not alone, shit really happens but we have to accept it. One day you will realize that theres a reason behind everything..im also on the same boat and doing my best to be positive in life for this LO..our Lord will never leave us during our weakest point , just cry and scream it all till you get tired, when you get tired its time to think, rest and plan your new happy life with this babies..let them be your Strength..we can do this!

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