March 2015 Moms

Living Arrangements

Can anyone provide some advice about living with your partner after baby is born? Me and my partner are currently not living together and in my dream world we would have moved in to begin our family. However, I am realizing that timing is probably not right and forcing the issue will only move us apart. We have been having open honest discussions about it, and I'm growing okay with the idea of not living together as a "decision", rather wanting it to happen as a natural progression of our relationship. But if you can provide examples of your experience and how you made it work I would really appreciate it. Just not completely convinced of how my child will thrive without the proper "family" arrangement.

Re: Living Arrangements

  • I want advice from people who moved in with their SO EVENTUALLY. Not necessarily around the time (before or after) their child being born. I'm thinking months to a year later.
  • It sounds like you two are on different pages and may need some help sorting out priorities and co-parenting. I would try talking to a counselor if your regular conversations aren't helping.
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  • The relationship is stable. His parenting is stable. We both have other kids (and his live with him as do mine). The issue here is more about blending our families - there is still more things to get used to on both ends. I agree, got KU maybe a lil too soon, but we are here now. No turning back.

    I guess my question was based on what my ideal situation would be, and how to make my reality work for all of us (on my part). Because I get that moving in too soon will not solidify our family. I have dropped the issue with him (in fact never nagged or begged, just got clear on his reasons) and oddly enough he is now proposing ways we could take steps to the full transition of living together and having our families under one roof.

    I know there are people out there who have done the same and I'm just wanting their experiences.
  • Thx. Our conversations are working so far.
  • Wait, your older kids live with him? Or did I misread that?
  • Wait, your older kids live with him? Or did I misread that?

    That's the way it is stated, but
    I'm thinking not what she wanted to say.
  • I come from a blended family and it was never a problem for any of us. I have "step" siblings (they are more to me than step-siblings) I grew up with and remain super tight with. Our parents are now divorced, but we're all still very close.

    The blending, for me, happened when I was maybe 2 years old, so I didn't know any different. It's probably easier to blend the younger the kids are.
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    Me: 28 | SO: 28
    BFP: July 22, 2014 | EDD: March 28, 2015
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  • Hog tie him, and then chain him to a pole in the basement... then he can't escape.

  • edited January 2015
    MeLove15 said:
    Can anyone provide some advice about living with your partner after baby is born? Me and my partner are currently not living together and in my dream world we would have moved in to begin our family. However, I am realizing that timing is probably not right and forcing the issue will only move us apart. We have been having open honest discussions about it, and I'm growing okay with the idea of not living together as a "decision", rather wanting it to happen as a natural progression of our relationship. But if you can provide examples of your experience and how you made it work I would really appreciate it. Just not completely convinced of how my child will thrive without the proper "family" arrangement.
    Lurker and will not judge, there is a story in each family.  I believe there is a blended family message board that you might find insightful.  Sorry you're going through so much and everything is harder when you're pregnant...I know that.  #:-S We're married and living together but all couples have their issues even when they've been together forever.  If you both have families, that seems wonderful and starting another one together could be an adventurous experience for sure.  Communication is always key and it won't be easy for a while but if you both love each other, it will take its course.  If he can be as hands on with you through your pregnancy and when the baby arrives as possible, that's most helpful.  Maybe he can stay with you as much as possible and see where that goes.  Good luck and best wishes!
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