Sister in Law as Surrogate

doxiemom513 · January 2015

In August, I was treated for cysts. I was in the hospital for a few days to be watched. I went through alot of tests, but finally in October has a laparotomy that found I had a very bad case of endometriosis. My doctor at that point pretty much told me she didn't think I would be able to have kids. When they did the laparotomy, they did not take my ovaries,just drained the endometriomas because I still wanted a chance to have a baby. During this time, my sister in law offered to carry a baby for us. It was very nice of her and I was blown away by her generosity. I still would like the experience to have my own baby, and I know that there are still options. The Gyn and the RE I have been seeing put me on a media, lupron to get my hormones to settle down. And when the course of that is complete, I wassupposed to be able to try to get pregnant. We recently found out that I have a third endometromas growing, so the lupron isn't working. I have to go see the RE and every situation is running through my head. Another surgery to remove or drain the cysts? But that could mean removing ovaries or having a hysterectomy too. So I wondered what others experiences were with using family as a surrogate. I would of course want to pay for all of her expenses, bu unsure about everything else. Thanks for your help.

IRR · January 2015

What a generous offer. Surrogacy laws vary by state. Some allow you to pay expenses, some don't, since this is a family member it can been seen as a compassionate surrogacy. I assume this is your husband's sister? Does your RE think that you can get the eggs from you or do you need to use a DE? We have a close family friend that is our surrogate. She also lives in a state where we cannot pay her anything. We used a DE and all I can say is I am very grateful for her and the incredibly generous thing she is doing for us to start our family. She likes being pregnant. I would look up the surrogacy laws where your SIL lives (and your state if different) and just find out about the process. IF you have a specific question I can answer, please ask, although every situation can be different. GL.

lincoln79 · January 2015

IRR gave a great response.

I am sorry for the unfortunate news you have received.

Best of luck and feel free to come back with additional questions!

walker14 · March 2015

I just wanted to comment, b/c your situation sounds so similar to mine. I also have severe endometriosis, confirmed by a laparoscopy. As much as possible was removed, and then I was on Lupron for three months before we tried IVF. It failed, and that's when our RE recommended we find a gestational carrier. My SIL offered, and we took her up on it. We're now expecting our first baby in May. So far, everything has gone as well as possible. My SIL have gotten much closer, and we haven't had any problems. We did have to have psychological counseling before the transfer- it was required by our RE, and it was definitely beneficial because it helped us set expectations and talk about any potential issues. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk anymore about it.

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