Announcing birth to families

Laura92485 · January 2015

I want only my husband in the room during labor and delivery. Because we know his mother won't be able to contain herself we are debating on not even telling her we are going to the hospital once the time comes. We are planning on calling her once we have our little one in our arms, anyone go through this previously or any thoughts?

krysmill · January 2015

I haven't gone through this yet due to being FTM but my we have voiced that it will only be us in L&D! We will call both parent's to let them know when I go into labor. We don't expect them to wait in the waiting room while I go through labor. But if they want to more power to them. We have a plan on how much time we want with baby before everyone else comes in. So it'll be up to them if they really want to wait.

sarabethmack · January 2015

All three sets of grandparents are out of state, so DH and I will be flying solo in the delivery room. After three hours we are moved from the birthing suite to a regular room and allowing family to come see LO.

I'm a bit concerned (with 80% of our family out of state) that DH will be glued to his cell phone calling everyone up. Our hospital doesn't have a nursery, so LO stays with us at all times, which will make it hard to break away.

Sometimes I feel more stressed about the protocol of letting everyone know and feeling "out of the moment" than I feel about actually giving birth!

ConstanceGoodspeed · January 2015

We had no visitors for the first 24 hours, and then it was our parents only. I would love to do the same this time except I will probably want to see my toddler before then.

I was in the hospital to recover, not host social hour. Guests came to our house after we were home. Holding a two day old baby is just as sweet as holding a two hour old baby.

t8keepr03 · January 2015

With DD we wanted immediate family to visit first but not until we were moved to a postpartum room. Even once we were moved we wanted to eat and shower. I didn't care if they wanted to wait in the waiting room but they would have to wait until we were ready. Well on the way to our postpartum room we passed the waiting room my inlaws felt that it was time to follow us. My family wasn't even at the hospital until I said I was ready. I was ticked they followed us and said something to the nurse. The nurse didn't allow them into the room but after the nurse left they came in. It was chaotic and I was on the verge of crying. I am putting my foot down this time and I will say something if it happens again. My DD will be the first to come see us and her new sibling. My parents will have her so I don't care how long my in laws have to wait they are not seeing us until my DD has visited us and we had some family time.

MammaWolf7 · January 2015

With my first we sent out a text to my parents and my DH's parents letting them know we were in the hospital. My parents came while I was in labor because I wanted them there and then once we had the baby, we sent them both a picture of the baby and my in laws came a few hours after he was born. We will probably do the same thing again with this one

ems0523 · January 2015

This is #3 for us. The first time around everyone was so excited and wanted to be at the hospital - which was very overwhelming where I felt like I needed to entertain people. When you're in labor you aren't throwing a party, save the party for when you're in your postpartum room. OP, I agree on keeping it to yourself especially if your MIL is anything like mine and won't respect that you don't want people at the hospital while you are laboring. Also, if you want time to get cleaned up and kangaroo, you aren't going to want super anxious visitors trying to break down the door.

mle106 · January 2015

We have told immediate family (parents and siblings) that the earliest they'll meet baby is a few hours after birth. We are doing skin to skin, immediate breastfeeding, etc. so they're welcome to wait around at the hospital or wait for the call at home, up to them. This is the 1st grandbaby so all are very excited.

FlowerPower16 · January 2015

We didn't tell our families until after DS was born. We wouldn't have allowed them in the room anyways so we didn't think it was necessary to tell them until afterwards. Plus we wanted some time alone just the 3 of us.

yoursincelery · January 2015

Do I ever have to tell the family? They all drive me insane except my parents. And ideally I won't want anyone handling him until he's at least three months old. It won't happen like that because my husband is way too sentimental about family, so we'll have to find some balance. I'm probably a terrible person but I've accepted that.

greenbumbletea · January 2015

Will be a FTM here as well - my DH and I are thinking that we will contact our immediate family members once DS is here. We definitely want some time together just the three of us, before family joins us. I know I'll need to give myself a huge break especially after all that will be happening, so I think it's only fair; there will be plenty of time for family and friends to see us afterwards

brij2006 · January 2015

So far our plan is to labor at home for as long as possible, then head to the hospital. We're hoping that we can get away with not telling family until we're at the hospital and progressed pretty well. The only downfall is that we have a dog and MIL will be taking care of her while we're at the hospital. But we're still hoping to be able to call her and let her know we're there and that she can go get the dog at our house.

Definitely ask your hospital what their protocal is for the labor room though. Ours will only allow 3 people in at a time (including husband). We have a doula, so we're telling our family that only H and the doula are allowed in the delivery room. They also keep us in there for the first 2 hours after birth, then we're moved to a postpartum room. So we have also let them know that we can't have any visitors for the first 2 hours after baby is born. It just gives us an excuse to tell them, so they're aren't rushing in to see the baby. Our hospital is also an hour away for all of the grandparents. So if we call them soon after the baby is born, then they still have an hour till they're there.

ColleenS629 · January 2015

With my last birth, I didn't want anyone at the hospital until a few hours after the babies were born. I wanted a chance to bond as a family and I didn't want to feel pressured knowing that people were waiting. I ended up with a scheduled c-section when one of my babies stopped growing in utero. My c/s got pushed back hours so my family did come to the hospital and was in the waiting room. It really annoyed me at the time and some things my mom says about it still bother me, but now that I am a parent myself, I understand more now WHY they wanted to be there. This time, I think it would bother me less, but this time they won't have the opportunity to be there because they will be watching my sons. We'll call them when the baby is born and, depending on the time, figure out when they'll come visit. I want my sons to be the first ones to meet the baby so if they are sleeping or at preschool, everyone else will have to wait too.

ryanmichael1208 · January 2015

I'm letting my MIL in while in l & d. I figured at some point I'm not going to care & plus she could help her son/my dh - dh had already warned me he was going to sing "push it" by salt n' peper & I've already threatened to kick him out☺️

lk2200214 · January 2015

I was the same way with my first. We wanted it to be special for just DH & I and wanted that time as a couple. We told only our parents that we were in labor & had voiced our wishes ahead of time that we didn't want anyone at the hospital while I was in labor, that we wanted time after for just us. DS was born at 1:07, parents were notified by 1:30/2 and allowed to visit anytime after 5. This time will probably be different since it's our second. I'm not as "worried" about have that time. But no body better touch him until I do

!!! Everyone is different as to what they prefer. But it's your baby so what you decide goes. If you don't want to tell people until a few hours you totally have that right.

rosieo52 · January 2015

We are telling people when I've been admitted to the hospital. But like other PP they will be in waiting room until after delivery, skin to skin, and first breast feeding. Also check your hospital visiting guidelines. Ours have changed for the flu season because it's so bad around here. Only 2 visitors in the patients room at a time and no one under 18. To me this is kind of a blessing because hopefully people won't stick around too long as other come to visit' (I.e my MIL because I can see her staying the whole time and never leaving)

TexasMamma0809 · January 2015

I'm torn on whether to tell out of state family during labor or when baby's already here. I don't want DH to be on his phone the whole time updating but don't want anyone to feel ignored either...

SaraMGood · January 2015

We are only planning on letting parents know when we go to the hospital. My parents will be out of state and since we live 40 min from our hospital we plan on going to in-laws when labor starts. They live in the same town as our hospital. We'll tell them when baby is born but tell them we want a good 2-3 hours to do skin to skin, breastfeed, cleanup, and rest before they come. Other family and friends will be invited later.

babybou3 · January 2015

We lived in another state from the rest of my family for our first born. We had our friends visit on the second day. It was nice being a FTM and having that moment with my husband and newborn. We relocated back to where we were raised when we had our second one. Once she arrived and we were ready for company I called my sister that was watching my first born and asked if she could bring him for a visit. It wasn't until after we had our family time that I told everyone else. I'm hoping for the same this time around too. It kept me relaxed and prevented the craziness that could have been.

Dani_Love · January 2015

I knew going in that my surgery may get pushed back and hospital visiting hours ended early. I had a scheduled c section with my first and stupidly told everyone when it was. I requested that no one be in the waiting room because if surgery was pushed back they wouldn't be able to visit anyway and I wanted time with dd because my pregnancy was really rough.

Lo and behold my surgery was pushed back because another mom went from two centimetres to 8 in a half hour. By the time my surgery was done at 6 I had to recover for an hour then be moved to our room. Visiting hours ended like I knew would happen. I didn't get dd until after 9.

I found out the next day that mil, sil, bil and their kids, my parents, and my best friend were all in the waiting room the whole time and made a huge scene when they couldn't get in. I was so mad! Bil apparently was banging on the nursery glass trying to get in, mil was being dramatic, the kids were too young to be let back anyway. It was a disaster. They all still complain two years later.

This time I'm telling no one. If you don't want them there don't tell them. It's stressful enough without having to worry what they're doing or when they'll try to bust in. I told them that since they weren't there while we made the baby they don't need to be there when it comes out. I want this to be a nice memory, not another nightmare.

paigeums · January 2015

I'm a single mom and I have one friend that's helping me through all of this. Currently 36 weeks and my mind hasn't changed since I found out that I don't want to call anyone. Extra people irritating me (I'm very easily irritated, especially nowadays). My birthing plan is also to labor as much as I can at home and then go to the hospital. I'm also trying to go fully natural and I don't want extra attention. I also don't want anyone visiting with me. All friends and family can wait until I get home. I'm not really family oriented so hashing them around its honestly just annoying.

Laura92485 · February 2015

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts, experiences and stories. I know my MIL is very excited it is her first grandchild, but like most of you mentioned you want to enjoy the moment, bond skin to skin and nurse. My hospital doesn't have strict visiting policies or numbers what's so ever. All of my family is out of state so I'm not having to dance around this issue with them. Good luck to all of you! I know we can't wait to meet our little one.

chicagojackie · February 2015

So many special snowflakes today.

Tread carefully on people you may need to help you. Also this child is entering a family and they are going to understandably want to be involved. This is a blessing, not an intrusion. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. They are likely coming from a place of love. Very few excited grandmas or aunties to be are trying to piss you off!

See what your hospital or birth center policies are (can you even have more than 1-2 people in the labor room anyway? No need to come across as not including people or copping an attitude when you can have your way and not be perceived wrongly.

Announcing birth to families

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