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NWMR: How will/ do you handle homework?
fitmom82
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I was talking with a friend today who has an 8 year old and was telling me about the nightly arguments that go on for 2 hours about homework. I've heard alot of parents with similar situations. My children are 2 and 4 so I'm not really up to this situation, therefore I don't totally know what I'm talking about or how I'll handle things. DD, my 4 year old, gets a worksheet for homework about once a week. Most of the time she's eager to do it, the few times she has been reluctant I tell her she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, although she always ends up doing it. As she gets older my plan is I will help them with their homework. I'll probably allow for some play and snack time after school and maybe do homework after dinner. I do not plan on fighting with them about it though. I may tell them that they're not watching TV or going outside unless they do it, but if they choose to play with their toys instead, I don't plan on stressing either of us out about it. I would hate to destroy our relationship due to a nightly conflict over homework I feel that when the teacher holds them for detention or they do not get a good grade, that's their consequence. My friend understands where I"m coming from, but said she feels it's the parents responsibility to make sure their children fulfill their responsibilities, also a good a point. I'm thinking that if homework does become a major battle maybe I could work with the teacher and have my child do the week's homework in 2 nights and hire a tutor to work with my child 2 days after school. We'll also reward good grades and study habbits. I hated school growing up and had a rough relationship with my mother, and I hope to avoid that with my children.
How do you plan on handling a child who wants to make homework a battle? My friend and I are both teachers so I understand the educator's point of view on this, I'm curious about the parent's.
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Re: NWMR: How will/ do you handle homework?
I wouldn't worry too much about homework conflicts. There will inevitably be some, but don't expect it to be the norm.
You have some good ideas for supporting your students. Agreeing to and keeping afternoon/evening routines - homework included-consistent and trying to make homework time a pleasent experience are both key IMO.
Also, homework should be a generally independent task for a child of any age. Homework should reflect what is being studied in class and be easy enough for your child to do with minimal help. Checking the work or having your child explain what they're doing is great, but you should not have to sit next to your child and guide them through every step of an assignment every afternoon. If you find yourself doing this, discuss the situation with your child's teacher.
If my child was truly being overwhelmed by homework (either because teacher was assigning excessive amount for the age group or because my kid was truly struggling) I would certainly talk with the teacher/get my kid the proper support. However, if my kid just didn't want to do homework at that age (but it was a reasonable amount of work and my kid was capable) I would absolutely make it my problem. If they can't be bothered to do their work then I can't be bothered to run them around town for practices etc. While I want my kids to love learning/school etc. homework is their job and its my job to make sure they do it.
I've taught high school for 12 years. I see a direct correlation between kids that didn't do homework as kids and kids that still don't do it now. I firmly believe parents should not being DOING their kids homework for them at any age however they should be part of the process until their kid can be trusted to do what is expected on them without hand holding. I'm guessing that age will depend on the kid. I don't think my mom had to check in with my homework by the time I was in 3rd grade but she was still sitting at the table with my brother in junior high. We just got the importance of it at different times. There are of course exceptions to the rule and I'm sure many kids that didn't have parents helping support homework when they were young ended up caring about it when they were older but not many.
I teach middle school, 2 language arts blocks so I have about 50 students. I've learned that not everything needs to be graded, and not everything needs to be done the next day. I actually think elementary school teaching would involve alot more prep work at home. School has changed a ton since we went. If I fail too many students, I need to justify it. Teachers are expected to meet each child where they are at and help all students to be successful. It may not reflect the reality of life, but it is the reality of education and I will expect my children's teacher to work with them, expecially when they're adjusting to school. I know what is expected of me.
My son is in kindergarten this year. I had trouble doing homework with him in the evenings. His brother and sister were playing, and he wanted to play too.
So, I get him up a little earlier, and he does his homework while I make breakfast and get his lunch together. Like pp said, it's mostly an independent activity, but he does require me to be in the same room if he struggles with something.
If he has something to do that takes a little longer (his teacher will send home everything they did that day if he misses a day of school), then we get out workbooks for the other kids and everyone sits and "works" together. I give lots of positive reinforcement, and we have mini parties whenever a task is completed.
I am sure that as he gets older, this won't work anymore, but it works for now.
Ahh...so you get it. My boys are 16 months apart and my kindergartener was devastated to learn that he would not only be spending his days apart from his brother, but he would be sitting and coloring and doing crafts rather than all the stuff he loves to do. Asking him to do homework while his brother was playing was just too much to ask of a 5 year old.
And I hope it's like the potty training and ends soon.
But then again, it's kind of fun to imagine that we will still be giving out checkmarks on everyone's hands and dancing around when he finishes his calculus homework.
I think we'll do it as soon as we get home from school, while I make supper/before we eat. Most activities are in the evenings here (soccer, swimming etc). If they don't want to do it, they miss their activity or get a privilege taken away from them (i.e. TV). I don't expect it to be easy to get them to do it every night, but at the same time...it's their 1 job, it's an expectation, and I'm not asking them to do it...I'm telling them to.
*spoken by the mother of a 3 and 1 y/o...don't roll your eyes at my optimism
*
My 2.5 year old brought me a chocolate chip and a mini-marshmallow this weekend when I was peeing on the potty. It was surprisingly motivating.
This year he's at a different school, and has spelling words HW. It's about five tasks due once a week. He usually does 2-3 of them, and we practice his words orally w him over the week also. But it's v hard making time for even that little amount - he's a little kid and wants to play after school, and we want to be able to just hang out w our kids. It just isn't a battle I believe in right now, we'll see when he's older (bc having hours upon hours of HW when you're older is also inappropriate and unnecessary).
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
From a teacher....
Thank you!
ETA: I don't think this quoted @BeachBum73 correctly.
Hilariously, in my prep school, I graduated in the top third but not top quarter of my class. In college, where there was less homework but still some, I graduated in the top quarter and with honors. In law school, where your entire grade for a class is based on one test at the end of the semester, I graduated not just in the top ten percent but in the top ten people. With highest honors. Now, I'm a ridiculous workaholic and make a lot of money. My high school teachers are shocked. I earn literally ten times as much as my BFF, who was in my prep school class and graduated with honors. And always did her homework.
I loved doing homework when I was a kid. I think my parents really set me up for success in that regard. My mom purposedly chose a kindergarden program that didn't have any homework, and talked about how awesome it would be when I get to go to "real" school and get to do homework. So I was SOOO excited to get homework in Grade 1. My parents never did homework with me, but always looked over my work afterwards. I had a big wooden desk in my room where I sat by myself with no distractions and just did my work. It never took long.
I loved all the attention I got from my parents, who were otherwise very busy. I remember distinctly that every night after my Dad came home (which was usually very late in the evening, after I've already had dinner and am ready for bed), one of the first things we'd do together is go over my homework and talk about my school day etc. Then he'd try to teach me things that are related to my homework assignments or find extra readings we could do together. I loved it.
By the time that my parents stopped doing that, I think I was already in grade 5 or 6 and homework just became a habit. I think good study habits really helped me with my academic career. I don't think I'm particularly smart but because I have very good study habits, I managed to get through undergrad and law school with top marks.
All that is to say that I think my approach would be the same as my parents - try to instill a love of learning and good study habits. Homework would be non-negotiable for my children, but hopefully I can make it a fun and rewarding experience for them.