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Crazy Moodswings, helping move MIL's hoarder-style apartment...

MummyMegsMummyMegs member
in 2nd Trimester
Sorry for the rant here...
My MIL is moving to our building next weekend. This is going to be helpful in many ways; while young, she is fairly isolated, and neglects to care for her living space (kinda always has). My husband is constantly stressed about her situation so this will be a solution. This is our last weekend to help pack; she has done NOTHING to prepare thusfar and I have a god feeling that since last weekend's several hours of work by us, nothing else has been done.

The apartment is not just cluttered to sh**, it's dirty. I mean DIRTY. And I am trying so hard to be understanding of this but I'm frustrated. The 2 large dogs can barely move. She up and got BIRDS, the dirtiest damn housepets ever, of which she has more than 10 (10!).  It took us 3 hours last weekend to clean the HALLWAY. While things have improved somewhat, everything moves so slowly. I am not allowed to just "go for it" in another room (I want to pack, she wants to be present for every box, oh, make sure its organized, ARE YOU JOKING). I packed the cleaning products last weekend into an open box like, grab what you need, then replace it; still packed! That was an issue. I know respecting people's possessions is important, and I am respectful; but we do not have time for this! I am just into my 2nd trimester. I have intense allergies, which I grudgingly take Benadryl for. I also have asthma. I feel like I NEED to help, but I also feel nervous that this aint healthy, especially with the birds and dust and dirt. 

We are supposed to do 2 full days this weekend to try and have it ready for next weekend when we go up with the moving truck. My husband just informed me that there's a hockey game he's been invited to play in today....so we won't get to MIL's til 3 or 4pm. I love him, I know he doesn't get to play as much as he'd like but DAMN MAN WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THIS HELL HOLE FINISHED aghhhhhhhhhhhh why doesn't anyone care? Why doesn't MIL take more responsibility? Why isn't anyone freaked out by the magnitude of this job? Why isn't it clear this will not be done by next weekend and we will still be moving shit until 4am next Monday??

Thanks for listening, please be kind, I'm a sobby-angry-eating-everything-mess.
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Re: Crazy Moodswings, helping move MIL's hoarder-style apartment...

  • tinktink20tinktink20 member
    You're a saint for wanting to continue to work on it. I would say eff it.
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  • blush64blush64 member
    Stop helping. Don't pack and don't help move. Your husband knows what he is dealing with and has decided to play hockey instead. His mother is an adult and has decided not to do anything. Let them deal with the consequences.

    Just stop. I would let them know I helped where I could and that I will no longer be doing anything.
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  • louloutte87louloutte87 member
    We moved house when I was about 16w and I wasn't allowed (at hubs and mums insistence) to do a thing. You shouldn't be in dirt nor bending excessively. I say, tell them to stuff it. Don't put yourself and your baby at risk, even though I understand you wanting to help. Not worth it, in my humble opinion.
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  • taahirataahira member
    Time to call in "hoarders buried alive"
    Leave it to the professionals.
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  • thelittlestbeethelittlestbee member
    I would seriously pull the pregnancy card and tell your DH and MIL to figure it out for themselves. There is no reason why you should even be dealing with this!
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  • girlymama79girlymama79 member
    I would just sit down and play games on my phone or something. Sorry your MIL is being such a pain!
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  • MummyMegsMummyMegs member
    Thank you very much; I think I am so guilty about "Pulling the Preggo Card" so early (13 weeks), reading these makes me feel great. I'm going to opt out; she has other supports, so hmph!

    xo Thanks
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  • UnknownUnknown
    edited January 2015
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  • ChristyM87ChristyM87 member
    louloutte87 said:

    We moved house when I was about 16w and I wasn't allowed (at hubs and mums insistence) to do a thing. You shouldn't be in dirt nor bending excessively. I say, tell them to stuff it. Don't put yourself and your baby at risk, even though I understand you wanting to help. Not worth it, in my humble opinion.

    Unless your doctor has given you this advice, there is nothing wrong with a pregnant woman being in dirt or bending. I am 14 weeks and I bend and lift on a daily basis for work and have no weight restrictions for work
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  • HandreeHandree member
    I feel your pain! My mom lived in a dirty borderline hoarders apartment and me and hubs had to help her move over the summer. It was miserable and she didn't want to throw anything away or help! I agree, play the pregnancy card and stay home!
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  • GSUDavisGSUDavis member
    I agree with PPs. You can't help her if she is a legit horder. It's a psychological condition that needs to be treated by a professional. And it will take professionals to help her move as well. Also, this is a time that you need to be selfish and think of you and the pregnancy. You don't need to stress or over work yourself trying to clean, pack and move someone else. I know you said your DH doesn't get much hockey/guy time, but she is his MIL and you are his wife. He needs to put aside games for now and deal with that he has in front of him. Best of luck to you!

    1/19/15 - Officially Team Blue! 
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    "Victory is paid for in sweat, courage, and preparation!"
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