Question about baby boy names... Please help

superlowamh · January 2015

I really wanted to name my baby boy Jozef (Joseph in English, but Jozef in Polish where it's actually pronounced with a silent J).

My husband vetoed this name very vehemently.

So now I don't want to tell him another name that I like because I am afraid he will reject it as well.

But I was wondering if you ladies could give me advice.

How do the following two names together sound in English to an American ear (my husband is American, I'm not).

Damian Jozef

I'm scared because I already think about my baby as Damian as if this name was accepted by my DH, and he has no idea...

I'd be grateful for any (sincere) comments.

If it doesn't sound good in English, or has bad connotations for some reason, please do tell me....

mattandlora · January 2015

This may not bother you, but it bothers some people....Damien (different spelling) was a demon-possessed character in The Omen, a really popular horror movie in the 70s. However, the name is rising in popularity in the US. Many people who name their child that either don't care, or are unaware of its use in the movie. Personally, I think that any name you pick will have someone horrible connected to the name if you look hard enough. But if you like the name, who cares? The name you picked sounds great in English. Now you just have to convince DH!

niknak1208 · January 2015

I tend to agree with the mattandlora. It seems like no matter what name you choose.. someone will have something to say about it. My husband and I struggle deciding on names and have for our 2 older kids too. He literally disagrees with everything I suggest and I literally cannot stand anything that he suggests. So finally we came to the conclusion that we really love the name Samuel Christopher for our baby boy.I was sharing it with a cousin of mine who I'm pretty close with and hre response was 'Uhhh.. like your dog?' Because we had a chocolate lab named Sam who we had to put down 2 years ago. I thought.. you couldn't think of something nicer to say than that?? Now granted.. her step son is naming their new grandbaby after a rapper!! You tell me which is worse. lol

But everyone has something to say. I would suggest it to your husband and see if he goes for it. The most important part is that the two of you like it. Who cares what everyone else says!

superlowamh · January 2015

Thank you Mattandlora! I never heard of the Omen, but it's good to be warned about a possible problem with the name. To be honest I don't even know how you'd pronounce Damian vs. Damien in English... :-)

superlowamh · January 2015

Niknak,

I actually don't care at all what other people might think or say, but want to be prepared for the conversation I'll have with my husband :-). I am just curious what reasons he might give me against my new favorite name :-) and that's why I want to be prepared.

mattandlora · January 2015

@superlowamh - Same pronunciation, different spelling. I wasn't even sure what the spelling was for the movie character and had to look it up.

superlowamh · January 2015

Aha, thank you! :-) So I looked up the Omen - I don't think I watched one horror movie in my whole life :-)

mattandlora · January 2015

We will *probably* name this one Margaret Josephine (Maggie Jo). My grandmother's name is Margaret. She is not exactly the kind of person you'd want to name your child after. We don't care. We just like the name and will let my family draw whatever conclusions they'd like.

marijaa333 · January 2015

Too bad about Jozef - I like it, soft "j" and all!

Damian / Damien was super fashionable when I was a kid but i associate it with the word "dame" for some reason. It's a nice name.

supersarah77 · January 2015

I think of The Omen, too. Aside from that unfortunate connection, Damian is a cool name! And certainly kids his age won't have that connection to it.

I get feeling attached to a name and then really disappointed when DH dislikes it. This time around I've been trying really hard to avoid getting attached and staying really open until we have a chance to discuss it. Names can be a tough negotiation!

superlowamh · January 2015

Thank you, Ladies!

I talked to my husband!! :-)

His reaction was:

And it doesn't make you think about the Omen?? LOL!!

I am glad I was prepared and knew what he was talking about.

He didn't veto the names yet, which gives me hope, because he is usually super quick with his negative reactions. Who knows, maybe it'll be Damian Jozef :-))

mum2lanabelliz · January 2015

Personally I think Older generations might make the connection to the omen. I was just a little kid when it came out and have barely any memory of it. But very few if any of the younger generations will. I'm a high school teacher and none of my students have heard of this movie. Neither have most of my younger colleagues. I have had quite a few students with that name. One who went on to play football for UCLA and now plays for the Arizona Cardinals. No one ever asked or suggested his name came from some 70's "B" rated horror movie. So I say if you like the name go for it.

Edited to add I asked my 15yo daughter what she thought of the name. She says it's nice if she likes it. I asked her if it made her think of any movie and she said no that's silly. What movie. So I told her. She added that it would be like not naming a baby Jason or Michael for the same reason. Just thought I would give my 15yo's perspective on the name. My DH has never heard of the omen and said "like Damien from Rescue Me?" He likes the name.

Fortunately my dh likes the names I have come up with. He has made no contributions. So eventually I'll settle on one I like well enough to give to this baby.

superlowamh · January 2015

mum2lanabelliz - thank you so much, this is super helpful!

So, wait, do Jason and Michael also have these weird movie connotations? What would those be?

Well, I am actually super frustrated and disappointed right now. My DH suggested we should call his mother and ask for her opinion.

She said: absolutely not because it's the devil's name.

And - surprise surprise - what his mother says is of course so much more important to what I may have to say.

I'm done with coming up with names. The baby boy will remain nameless, because I am not going to accept any of the DH's choices either.

I know my reaction is childish, but seriously. I went through months and months of fertility treatments, through the worst morning sickness of my life, and through this awful bed rest, and my preferences just don't matter.

It was exactly the same with my daughter's name: I had no say. We 'chose' a name he wanted.

We talked that this time it should be more of my decision but I already know it won't be.

So, yeah, I was curious about Michael because they have a Michael in their family... Is this also a devil's name or something?

I'm just so upset :-((

mum2lanabelliz · January 2015

Jason is the main bad guy in Friday the 13th. Michael Myers is the bad guy in Halloween movies. And Freddy Kruger is the main bad guy in nightmare on elm street. Chucky from the horror movie chucky. I could go on... Lol.

This is what Damien mean:

DAMIAN

GENDER: Masculine
USAGE: English, Polish, Dutch
PRONOUNCED: DAY-mee-ən (English), DAHM-yahn (Polish)
Meaning & History

From the Greek name Δαμιανος (Damianos) which was derived from Greek δαμαω (damao) "to tame". Saint Damian was martyred with his twin brother Cosmo in Syria early in the 4th century. They are the patron saints of physicians. Due his renown, the name came into general use in Christian Europe. Another saint by this name was Peter Damian, an 11th-century cardinal and theologian from Italy.

VARIANTS: Damion (English), Damiaan (Dutch)
OTHER LANGUAGES: Damianos, Damianus (Ancient Greek), Damyan (Bulgarian), Damjan (Croatian), Damien (French), Damiano (Italian), Damjan (Macedonian), Demyan (Russian), Damjan (Serbian), Damijan, Damjan (Slovene), Demyan (Ukrainian)

Taken from: https://www.behindthename.com/name/damian . It is currently ranked #98 in the US.

So no. Not the devil.

CML11 · January 2015

It should be something you both like. So if he vetoes it, move on and make him come up with suggestions.

Here's some for you:

Daniel
Owen
Paul
Gavin
Adrian
Levi
Dominic
Declan

Good luck!

mum2lanabelliz · January 2015

Meant to add above that my 5 year old was nameless until she was 2 days old. We had a hard time coming up with her name and scrapped at least 3 lists before we came up with 1 we liked. Eventually you will come upon a name you both agree with. I have a feeling this one will also be nameless until she is a day or two troops old. I want to see which of my faves on my list suit her after she is born.

superlowamh · January 2015

mum2lanabellizCML11 - you guys are awesome, and so helpful. Thank you, I feel really moved, and so happy I started to post on this board...

Yeah, let me tell you more. All of us, me, my DH and his whole family are Catholic. And Damian is a very famous saint (as noted above in mum2lanabelliz's post) listed in the Litany to All the Saints. But guess what - neither my DH nor his mom never heard of a saint with this name, but both heard about the Omen. I guess I am too Polish, and I know the saints, but not horror movies :-(( Just my bad luck.

The names you listed, CML11 are nice. But they not Polish enough for me :-(.

I am in a foreign land, all alone (my family is back in Poland), and I need something to remind me where I'm coming from. The kid will have my DH's last name. His first name must have at least some Polish sound to it....

Not that our DD has a Polish name, actually. Her name is Miriam. But it's exactly the same in Polish, and almost the same pronunciation, so it's fine. It was my husband's choice.

mattandlora · January 2015

My husband and I had to resort to a spreadsheet with a scoring system to agree on a name for both this baby and the last one. Each name had 4 columns - my opinion, my associations, his opinion, and his associations. On the opinion category, I scored names 1-5 based on how much I liked each name. On the association category, I scored 1 for negative association (same name as person I don't like, etc) 2 for no association, and 3 for positive association (family name, etc). My husband did the same thing. We didn't look at each other's scores until we were done. Once done, we just added them up and eliminated the bottom ones on the list. We did this multiple times over the course of weeks until there was a clear first choice.

I hope you find something you both love without resorting to a boring spreadsheet! I'm sure when you meet your son, it will fit perfectly.

CML11 · January 2015

@mattandlora‌ I like that system! My husband is a numbers guy, I could see us doing this! May just have to steal it for the future

superlowamh · January 2015

@mattandlora‌ - so I see that you both chose the name for your DS... It sounds like it took quite a bit of work!

I really hope we'll avoid that.... I feel like justice suggests it should be my decision now - I know, just my wishful thinking...

CML11 · January 2015

Try the baby names board too, they might be more helpful

mattandlora · January 2015

@superlowamh - I definitely think you should get a name which reminds you of home! I have a friend from South Africa, married to an American. They have 3 kids and had to search very hard for names used in both countries. The same goes for a friend of mine who is married to someone from Japan. However, it worked out in the end. Plus BOTH families can pronounce the names!

superlowamh · January 2015

Thank you, Ladies: @CML11, @hikerlady and @mattandlora.

I stopped thinking about names for a while to let go of my frustration...

It's a bit sad - my daughter got her name soon after we found out she was a girl, and it was awesome to think of her with a name even when she was still in my tummy.... Was hoping the same would happen with the boy....

honeybee530 · January 2015

While I am aware of The Omen and the Damien association, it's not the first thing I think of. As a teacher, I'm having a hard time coming up with a boy name that I don't have bad associations with, lol. In all honesty, I've taught two Damiens over my career and they have both been lovely boys....if that helps at all!

As for my DH calling his Mom for her opinion on the name, I would have lost my mind! The only opinions that need to matter when it comes to naming OUR child are mine and his. I mentioned a boys name to my Mom and she said, "Um no. I don't like it." I politely informed her she doesn't have to "like it."

superlowamh · January 2015

Thanks, @honeybee530.

Yes, it is quite interesting that my DH doesn't think there is anything bizarre in the fact that he cares more about what his mother thinks than what I think...

But it's not the first time I see his utter lack of maturity so I can't say I am very surprised...

I guess it was my choice to marry a boy, not a man, and I have to live with it...

mattandlora · January 2015

@honeybee530 - I also struggle with finding 'good' names. As a teacher, you get to spend a lot of time with kids and really get to know them, both the good and the bad. As a pediatrician, I don't get to do that. But I still see a lot of names and some....well....let's just say there are a few names I won't ever use because I associate the names with a bad diagnosis. And poor DH putting up with my "No. I can't explain why because of patient privacy. But no" over and over again. Maybe that's why we've always gone with more common / traditional names??? I've seen so many kids with the names that none stand out.

We actually got most of our name ideas from ancestry.com. It was a good source of a large variety of names, plus many were significant to one or both sides of the family.

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