We need advice, we are starting to lose hope and confidence that will be able to start a family. I am sorry that this is a long post, just very emotional and lost.
My wife and I have been trying to conceive since Aug 2014, we started at Shady Grove doing IUI, my wife who wants to carry, she is 31, healthy, they ran all the test, we had the HSG done, everything showed there is no reason she shouldn't get pregnant. Our first 4 IUI cycle all ended up in BFN, they were even medicated, and trigger shot. We decided to switch insurance companies that covers 50% of IUI and IVF. During the switch over, we stop going to shady grove, and did ICI at home, with medication, ended a BFN. We have switched our donor 3 times now, we are using frozen sperm from a cryobank, the mobility numbers of the donors have been from 20k-30k% which we know is good!
When we got all the insurance stuff worked out with Shady grove, we went back and told them that we feel we are wasting our money on the failed IUI/ICI, they felt the best choice was to go to IVF, so they put in with our insurance (Kaiser federal) to go ahead for IVF. Reason we switch to that crappy insurance, they told us it did not matter if we were using donor sperm or not. WELL surprise surprise, they denied us cause we are using donor sperm (funny though, they approved us for IUI with donor sperm?!?!) We told Shady grove we are going to appeal to the insurance company, and take a break.
While we are getting our stuff together for the appeal, we did another ICI at home, 3 vials, preseed, one on OPK night, 24 hours later, then 36 hours later, also used soft cup after injection/orgasm(tmi) We made it a nice fun date night, with a little wine and dine, relaxing each night. We thought we would get real lucky this time, but today her temperature drop, and the other night had a little brown/red mixed into her CM (which we know by now that means her AF is coming)
We don't understand what the problem is, she is on vitamins, not drinking coffee, we are on a fertility diet, cut sugar and carbs. We have tried everything we've seen floating around with information that could help with trying to conceive. We don't know what to do, shady grove is no help, our obgyn is no help, we feel lost. We are scared to go back to shady grove do more medicated and trigger cycles knowing that they won't work. We don't want to pay out of pocket for IVF (if Kaiser won't approve us) knowing that we could also lose out on 10k. We have 3 ICI vials left from our current donor we've paid for. We plan to use our last 3 vials next cycle as we wait for our appeal. Any advice on how to best time our tries at home?
Me - 31
DW - 27
TTC since Aug 2014, HSG clear, blood work good, retroverted uterus (no reason to not get a BFP?)
#1 Unmedicated b2b IUI-8/14 =BFN
#2 Unmedicated b2b IUI-9/14 = BFN
#3 Unmedicated b2b IUI-10/14 = BFN
#4 Clomid/HCG trigger/Progesterone IUI-11/14 =BFN
#5 Clomid/Progesterone ICI at home-12/14 = BFN
#6 Unmedicated ICI at home-1/15 = BFN
#7 Medicated ICI at home- 1/30 = BFN
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.
Re: Confused and Sad, in need of advice
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********Anecdote, when I got pregnant we did one vial about 12 hours after the +opk. No preseed, no cup. Taking Charge of your Fertility was the most useful book we read.
Most of what I was thinking to say has already been covered by others (and far more eloquently than I could have) I would definitely second the book recommendation made by @wittyandwaiting. 'the Ultimate Guide' is one of the main sources A and I used in the planning, trying and carrying stages of our pregnancy (and to be honest, I was a little disappointed there wasn't a child care section/sequel - it was that handy!) It's well thought out, accessible and written in a friendly tone.
Whilst there are so many things I could say about our experience getting pregnant through at home DIY insem, I won't go indepth here because I'm sure you've heard all the practical tips many times before (please don't hesitate to pm me, if you'd like to talk. Just bear in mind, I can't respond before Thursday) what I will say is hold on to the faith that it can happen. The month we conceived, I was almost convinced we hadn't: we insem'd once, the day after ovulation because I thought that month was a no show and on the day of testing, we got a BFN.
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.
But I totally understand the frustration. I did 9 IUIs and none of them worked. We did eventually moved on to IVF (see siggy for more details) and eventually that resulted in a take-home baby. I was lucky enough to have insurance coverage for IVF, and will keep my FX that your appeal works out...or you get lucky in the meantime!
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
All that to say that it could happen. Soon. But it is an horrible waiting game. Good luck.
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.
We felt the exact same except we don't have insurance that covers fertility. We went through 6 IUI's and switched donors in the middle and still no baby. It was so frustrating. The most frustrating part is that we did all the tests also and nothing is wrong with me. We used Clomid and the trigger. All the IUI's were done in a doctors office, three with an Obgyn and three with a fertility clinic. We made the decision to move forward with IvF even though financially it was hard on us. We start IVf next month and although I was stressed about the finances, I feel so much better moving forward with IvF. I think you two really need to sit down and think about the decision. It's a big one, mainly from the financial aspect. But think about how much you've already spent on IUI's and sperm, going the ivf route could essentially save you two money. The best advice I can give you is to go with what will be the best for the two of you. Sometimes timing is everything and although the timing might be right, the stress on the body might prevent the pregnancy. You guys will make it work:) don't lose hope. You will have kids. Stay on top of it and chive on.
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.
#8 Taking a break..... Maybe IVF if we win the lotto.