Nursery rage!

smezger · January 2015

Ok nursery rage is a little extreme... But... We are getting the nursery ready with a rustic theme for our little boy. Yet people are buying and making random things that have nothing to do with what we have so far... I know they are just being sweet and wanting to contribute but if I was going to buy/make something for someone's nursery I would make sure it matched the already chosen theme! I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I don't like it, but should I use what people are giving us?? Or should I just put everything we don't want to use away and stick with our vision? Anybody else have something similar happening?

somewheresublime86 · January 2015

I think being a gracious recipient of a gift, no matter what it is or if it suits your taste or theme, is critical.

If you don't like it, say thank you, then trade it in or decide not to use it. I guarantee you that your baby boy won't notice or care if there's something in his nursery that doesn't fit the rustic theme.

jackieanddan1989 · January 2015

They are being nice getting you a gift. They dont have to get you a gift at all. You cant expect everyone to know your theme. Smile, accept graciously, send a nice thank you note, and then put it away somewhere it's not showing. Simple.

smezger · January 2015

Yes you are right! Kindness and a healthy baby are what it's about! Thanks!!

Edit: pesky words

taahira · January 2015

Your right "rage" is a little dramatic, perceptive seems like it's lacking.
Be gracious for the gift, then either use it or don't use. Seems simple enough.

tigerlily25 · January 2015

smezger said:

Ok nursery rage is a little extreme... But... We are getting the nursery ready with a rustic theme for our little boy. Yet people are buying and making random things that have nothing to do with what we have so far... I know they are just being sweet and wanting to contribute but if I was going to buy/make something for someone's nursery I would make sure it matched the already chosen theme! I'm not sure how to handle the situation. I don't like it, but should I use what people are giving us?? Or should I just put everything we don't want to use away and stick with our vision? Anybody else have something similar happening?

First world problems.

Mireille LeBlanc · January 2015

This happened to us. I think it's important to be gracious and thank the person for the gift. Once you have the gift, you can use it however you wish. Maybe in a toyroom, or in a diaper bag? Maybe at you're parents' or ILs' placeif you will be visiting frequently? I have to admit that we returned a few gifts that simply didn't work. I don't believe the people who gave those gifts have any idea to this day. I know you are really attached to the nursery theme right now, but after a bit, you'll mellow out and it won't be as important to you. The main thing is that someone thought of you and your LO. Say thank you and move on.

redneckmomma25 · January 2015

Gosh. The nerve of some people.

smezger · January 2015

Thanks all! The nursery has been a labor of love and I guess I just want it to look nice and put together. Must be my nesting... But I am grateful for peoples' intentions and thoughtfulness. Question answered!

Unknown · January 2015

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AMShark · January 2015

I've been in the hospital for 3 weeks and will continue to be here until my babies come. We had not even started on a nursery when my membranes ruptured at 20w, and DH will be painting and preparing the room by himself. (He told me on the phone that he picked a color and bought paint yesterday).

I have not had a baby shower, and I likely will not have a baby shower, I have received no gifts for my babies - so no worries about them clashing with my theme, should a theme suddenly appear. (And receiving a gift for my babies might drive me to tears, because there is still a lot of uncertainty about the outcome of my whole situation right now).

None of this is your fault. Sometimes life sucks, and honestly, the only gift I am hoping for is to be able to take home two live, healthy babies.

So, why am I taking it out on you? Well, frankly, I'm tired of seeing people's petty complaints about what to put on shower invitations, or how to resolve some little detail of their dream nursery, or what to do when they get gifts they don't want, or how to let people know what gifts they really, really want.

And, YES, I am jealous of all of you - and I know that's not pretty, and I know I am being childish, but whaddayagonna do?

I just wanted to give you a different perspective. (And, I wanted to bitch a little, but also, the perspective thing). When you receive a gift, no matter how hideous it is, say thank you and mean it. If it really is hideous, it will be something that you and your SO can laugh about for years, and God willing, when your LO gets older he/she will laugh about it too.

I don't know if you got anything out of this post, but its been very cleansing for me. Thanks.

*** eta - bitching is no excuse for bad grammar ***

taahira · January 2015

Hugs @AMShark‌

smezger · January 2015

You are very right @AMShark‌. Having healthy babies and mommies are all that matters. Thank you for sharing your perspective and venting it out! Sending positive thoughts to you and yours. Nurseries don't matter at all in the long run! Eye roll to myself.

SMFB · January 2015

smezger said:
You are very right @AMShark‌. Having healthy babies and mommies are all that matters. Thank you for sharing your perspective and venting it out! Sending positive thoughts to you and yours. Nurseries don't matter at all in the long run! Eye roll to myself.

Good attitude OP. Stick around or join us on the pro boards. Hugs to you @AMShark‌.

RSupry · January 2015

Hugs @AMShark‌ T&P for you and your little ones.

JuliaLovesPugs · January 2015

Positive thoughts and prayers to you and your little one @AMShark. I know being in the hospital for so long has to be hard. Hang in there Mama.

tigerlily25 · January 2015

@AMshark hugs

NagaWater · January 2015

Hugs @AMShark‌. And many many prayers.

OP I'm impressed by your response.

somewheresublime86 · January 2015

NagaWater said:
Hugs @AMShark‌. And many many prayers.

OP I'm impressed by your response.

Likewise. I think we all have moments where we just need to vent, and the OP was having one today.

OP, my Dad got baby a giant Teddy bear for the nursery. Our 'theme' is giraffes. I too had a moment of 'oh boy, what am I going to do with this?!' But my dad was so excited, and really it looks great sitting next to the crib. Just embrace the generosity :-)

SeekingSmall · January 2015

@AMShark‌ Stressful shitty situation. Prayers that your babies stay in there much longer and are healthy as can be.

meganmcmuffin · January 2015

@AMShark‌ so many prayers and hugs mama! I keep thinking about you and your LO.

OP, you handled this beautifully after you realized it's really not a huge deal. I get the nesting thing though just know when baby comes you're not going to care about the nursery or if anything matches

AMShark · January 2015

rsaj0807 said:

I've been in the hospital for 3 weeks and will continue to be here until my babies come. We had not even started on a nursery when my membranes ruptured at 20w, and DH will be painting and preparing the room by himself. (He told me on the phone that he picked a color and bought paint yesterday).

I have not had a baby shower, and I likely will not have a baby shower, I have received no gifts for my babies - so no worries about them clashing with my theme, should a theme suddenly appear. (And receiving a gift for my babies might drive me to tears, because there is still a lot of uncertainty about the outcome of my whole situation right now).

None of this is your fault. Sometimes life sucks, and honestly, the only gift I am hoping for is to be able to take home two live, healthy babies.

So, why am I taking it out on you? Well, frankly, I'm tired of seeing people's petty complaints about what to put on shower invitations, or how to resolve some little detail of their dream nursery, or what to do when they get gifts they don't want, or how to let people know what gifts they really, really want.

And, YES, I am jealous of all of you - and I know that's not pretty, and I know I am being childish, but whaddayagonna do?

I just wanted to give you a different perspective. (And, I wanted to bitch a little, but also, the perspective thing). When you receive a gift, no matter how hideous it is, say thank you and mean it. If it really is hideous, it will be something that you and your SO can laugh about for years, and God willing, when your LO gets older he/she will laugh about it too.

I don't know if you got anything out of this post, but its been very cleansing for me. Thanks.

*** eta - bitching is no excuse for bad grammar ***
WOW, that's a shitty situation. Now, I feel the need to shop and send you some baby stuff, except we're Internet strangers. my heart goes out to you. Hugs.

It's not really as shitty as it sounds most days. I think I was just having a low day yesterday (bleeding, contractions, magnesium - fun stuff) when I stumbled on @smezger 's post (who has been a real trooper, btw, and took it all with the best possible attitude).

In the end, I'm sure my situation concerning the nursery & baby gear will be fine. My DH & I both have good salaries, and I've been able to work from the hospital & continue to be paid full time - so if we need to buy all of the basics for our twins by ourselves, we know we can do it without too much sacrifice. And its amazing how much less you care about a cute, perfect, Martha Stewart rivaling nursery when your babies are in jeopardy.

And, to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be surprised if my sister or a sister-in-law or someone throws a mini-shower for me after the babies are born and growing in the NICU.

Sorry if I was rough on you @smezger - but glad to see you can take it all in stride.

keifekm · January 2015

Hugs to you @AMShark‌ !!

chicsugar · January 2015

Sending love your way @AMShark

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