Handling two kids - feeling overwhelmed

llambrose · January 2015

Today was my first day alone for an extended period of time and it has been pretty overwhelming. I feel like my poor sweet boy is getting the short end of the stick by being the second kid. My dd is five but pretty demanding, not to mention her whirlwind nature that is always making a mess or getting into something that she shouldn't and between her, our two annoying dogs, and general chores, I have barely had time to hold my baby at all today. He had to lay in his RnP and cry while I did DD's bath tonight. I feel awful because this is not at all how I was with my daughter as a baby and I want to be able to give him what he needs and deserves I just don't see how. He already gets me for far less time than she did as I will be back to work in 9 weeks, I was home with her for 2 years. I am so worried that I won't be able to have the relationship with him that I want to have because I am always going to be pulled in so many different directions. I have to give it all of you ladies with multiple kids, it is really hard and I am not sure how you all do it! This is just making me sad...

Mrs_Bennett · January 2015

It is definitely hard. But, it gets better, I promise! You'll eventually get settled into a better routine, your DD will get used to not being the center of attention, you'll get better at multi-tasking, and, of course, as the baby gets bigger, it will be easier. I'm sorry you had such a rough day today, but you'll figure it out, momma!
When DD was born, I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed, and it lasted for about a week and a half. Then, when DH went back to work, I was terrified. Now, she's 3 weeks old, and I feel like we're finally figuring it all out. It seems like this is how our family of five is supposed to be--finally!
Hang in there; it will get easier! And, it's so worth it!!

llambrose · January 2015

Thank you for the support! I keep telling myself that people have more than one kid all the time and figure it out and I will too but on days like today, it is hard to imagine.

Mrs_Bennett · January 2015

llambrose said:
Thank you for the support! I keep telling myself that people have more than one kid all the time and figure it out and I will too but on days like today, it is hard to imagine.

Yes, I kept telling myself the same thing! I mean, some people have like 12 kids, so we can figure out just a few, right?!

Maebb · January 2015

The advice from @Mrs_Bennett‌ was great. I feel bad for DS1 because I can't give him as much attention now, and I have way less patience for his 2 YO antics. DH went to work twice this week, and I felt pretty overwhelmed as well. DS2 is 9 days old now, and it's getting better. I try to make sure I do a few special things with DS1 per day (painting, playing outside, etc.) while DS2 is asleep or in the baby carrier. I've nursed DS2 while I was in the bathroom supervising DS1's bath time. Then I just snuggle DS2 in between as much as I can. Sometimes I feel bad for DS1 because he may have to eat breakfast alone while I'm with DS2 or something like that, or DS2 might have to wait 5 extra minutes to eat while I change DS1's poopy diaper, but they'll both be fine, and I think part of being a sibling is learning to share.

4littlebears · January 2015

When my dd1 was born, ds1 was wild. I basically held her all day so she wouldn't get trampled on accident. You could invest in a good wrap so that you can wear him while you still have arms for your dd. That may get her more used to him being around too

llambrose · January 2015

4littlebears said:
When my dd1 was born, ds1 was wild. I basically held her all day so she wouldn't get trampled on accident. You could invest in a good wrap so that you can wear him while you still have arms for your dd. That may get her more used to him being around too

I was actually just researching wraps thinking that might be a good solution!

kellimark · January 2015

Yes thank you for posting this! DS is acting out everytime I feed or hold DD and I too feel overwhelmed and stretched thin.
I get that it's hard being 2 and going from being the center of attention to having to entertain himself but jeez he has become a terror.
I feel better reading that it gets better!!

kbl13 · January 2015

I'm also having trouble figuring out how to keep my 2 babies happy at the same time; it has definitely been more difficult than I thought it would be. I find myself having less patience with my 2 year old and my newborn has spent more time in the bouncer seat than her brother ever did.
I don't have any good advice yet, but wanted to let you know that you are definitely not the only one having a hard time with this. I'm sure we'll all figure out a good system, eventually.

AneldaM · January 2015

I have 3 kids under 4 years! Hahaha. Baby is 19 days.
The sling/wrap/carrier is your friend!

And the triage mindset. What is vital, necessary, preferable, really can wait till whenever - deal with the priorities and, seriously, the rest can wait.

Finally - make sure you get sleep. Lack of sleep messes with my ability to think straight and make rational choices. Enlist a friend, your partner, whoever but GET SLEEP. It's right up there with vital.

It gets better. Promise.

lavet22 · January 2015

I also agree that you need a carrier ASAP. DS2, DS3, and this DD spend all day in my Moby. Makes us both feel like we are getting the snuggle time while I can get chores done around the house, cook, spend time and play games with my older kiddos and do whatever while still "holding" the baby.

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