Babies: 6 - 9 Months
princess1686
member
The Bedtime War
princess1686
member
Hi everybody, I know there's already lots of threads very similar to mine about sleep issues, but my situation has become so dire that I really need some individual advice.
My 6 month old son has never been a good sleeper at all. When he was first born he absolutely wouldn't sleep anywhere but in our arms. We quickly discovered he would also sleep in his stroller, which can turn into a fully enclosed, fully reclined carriage. However, he outgrew that quite some time ago. When he was about 6 or 7 weeks, I started trying to transition him into a Fisher Price Rock n Play cradle, which I put right next to my side of the bed. It worked like a dream (no pun intended), and before long he dropped all of his night feedings and wakings and slept through the night, every night.
That went right out the window the day he got his 4 month vaccinations, and life has been hell ever since. He tended to fall asleep while nursing around 9:30-10pm. I would gently lay him in his cradle, swaddled like always, and he would immediately wake up and start screaming. I would try everything under the sun to soothe him back to sleep--rocking, burping, walking around, singing and talking to him, and nursing--and nothing worked. He was done with his cradle. Just done.
We figured maybe the cradle was getting uncomfortable for him because he was getting to be too tall for it. So then we tried getting him to sleep in his crib. Oy. No luck there at all. He would just scream and scream. We tried nursing him to sleep and then laying him down. Bam, awake and screaming. We tried putting him down drowsy, but still awake, and trying to soothe him to sleep by rubbing his back and his tummy, talking to him in a reassuring way, giving him a pacifier...nothing. He'd cry and cry. Eventually my husband was so destroyed from none of us sleeping that he urged me to just let him fall asleep at the breast, in the chair I nurse him in, and not try to move him once he's finally comfy, and just sleep sitting up while holding him. He actually slept right through the night a few times doing that, but I couldn't get any real sleep that way.
Finally I started nursing him to sleep in our bed. Then I laid him down at my side, between my husband and I, and he would sleep for very long stretches again, and often all night long. I loved having him right next to me, and I slept great. I loved the bonding. I loved hearing him coo when he'd wake up, and seeing his truly beautiful smile. It was perfect.
But his pediatrician put a lot of pressure on us to get him into his crib. He says he's lost patients who coslept with their parents. I love my baby more than anything in this world and I can't stand even the chance something could happen to him.
So I nursed him, changed his diaper, gave him a kiss goodnight (same routine we've always had) then put him in his crib. Bam, wide awake and screaming bloody murder.
We tried the cry it out method. We checked on him at 3 minutes, 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. He never self soothed. He didn't sleep a wink. He just screamed more and more, for hours. I just can't do that anymore. It's not right for our family, and it's not right for him. No judgment at all if any of you were able to get CIO to work at your house, but it's just not right for my son. It wasn't helping at all.
Last night I caved, I nursed him in bed again, after several hours of him "crying it out" (which our pediatrician swears by, btw), and slept for several hours with him next to me in bed.
I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what to do anymore. Once upon a time bedtime was peaceful in our house, and now it's a war, and now my son screams any time I try to put him down anywhere, at anytime--even if it's to change his diaper on the changing table. My husband says he feels like a slave to our baby. He used to love being a dad, and now he hates it. I just want my son to have a safe place to sleep at night, but NOTHING ?I try to get him to sleep in his crib will work.
FYI, he takes about three naps a day, after nursing. No problem, but sleeps in my arms.
Please help us.
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Re: The Bedtime War
Seriously, good luck and in my opinion just do what is best for your family.
I hate that about pediatrician's.... I actually just don't tell our pediatrician about our sleeping arrangement and just say DS sleeps in his crib and that's it. I just don't want to deal with explaining.
We have a similar situation except my son has not slept through the night since being born and he's almost 8months old. I'm waiting for the morning when I wake up fully engorged because I haven't fed him and realize it's been like 8 hours straight through. I would love that! I would love even like a 5 hour chunk! Ours has been having trouble sleeping too. I can't offer advice, although it seems your situation is good now, but I can commiserate. And I hope that my guy will start to sleep but I know that teething, milestones, wonder weeks and all those other things can affect sleep too.
If co-sleeping works well for your family, find the safest way for your child to co-sleep. Being a new mom is tough enough as is, we are tired, overwhelmed, and worried about everything. You don't need to add being completely sleep deprived to that list just because your pedi is against co-sleeping. I nurse my little one to sleep at night, because that's what works for us and keeps her happy. Sometimes she naps on me during the day, because she loves to cuddle, and it's a special time for us to snuggle and be close to one another. Trust your instincts, you should be enjoying this special bonding time with your child, you know what is best for them.
No, actually, you have a baby who doesn't sleep through the night. If you want to get him sleeping through, you might want to try an earlier bedtime.