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May 2015 Moms
AutDyGol
member
Baby Shower questions!
AutDyGol
member
Hello!
First-time poster, 24 weeks into my first pregnancy with a baby boy!
I'm between a rock and a hard place and I would love the opinions of you other mommies. Forgive me if this isn't the place for an advice post, and please kindly redirect me if that's the case. I just wasn't sure who to turn to and I thought you ladies may be a goldmine of resources for me.
Here's the story:
Husband and I were talking about a baby for over a year before we became pregnant, so it should be absolutely no surprise to our friends that we are now expecting. Back in September, when we found out, a coworker I had known for about a month offered to plan my baby shower. I hadn't known her that long and wasn't really comfortable with an acquaintance planning something that I thought should be shared with people close to me. I kindly declined her offer but told her that I really appreciated the thought. I feel like a jerk for that, but a baby shower felt like something someone close to me should do.
Well, I'm the first of our close friends to be pregnant, so when the topic of baby shower came up with my two closest gals, they said they would be happy to throw the event. I don't think they knew what that means. One of them has told me she thinks my bump is "gross" and that it "creeps her out" that someone is living inside me. Anytime the baby comes up, she shuts down and wont talk about it. The other girl, has told me that she doesn't think she will need to start planning until my 7th month for the shower to occur in my 9th month. All of my family lives across the U.S. and would need to travel a great deal to come for me. These people are asking me when the shower is so they can buy plane tickets and make travel arrangements. I don't know what to tell them. My mom and sister will not be able to come for the birth, and were hoping to come for a shower.
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or disrespectful, but I'm feeling very lost at how to handle this. A near-stranger wanted to throw me a shower and I declined, only to feel like my closest girlfriends are dropping the ball. One of them even told me that a shower "isn't a big deal" and that we can just do a facebook event/invites.
Now, I'm well aware that proper etiquette is for the mommy-to-be not to be involved in the planning, as it is seem as a "gimme gimme gifts" in that case. However, I'm getting worried that it's going to be either throw my own or not have one. I can't ask someone to do it for me, as that's rude. In all honesty, I don't care about the gifts and registry. What I care about is a celebration for baby with my friends who support me.
First-time poster, 24 weeks into my first pregnancy with a baby boy!
I'm between a rock and a hard place and I would love the opinions of you other mommies. Forgive me if this isn't the place for an advice post, and please kindly redirect me if that's the case. I just wasn't sure who to turn to and I thought you ladies may be a goldmine of resources for me.
Here's the story:
Husband and I were talking about a baby for over a year before we became pregnant, so it should be absolutely no surprise to our friends that we are now expecting. Back in September, when we found out, a coworker I had known for about a month offered to plan my baby shower. I hadn't known her that long and wasn't really comfortable with an acquaintance planning something that I thought should be shared with people close to me. I kindly declined her offer but told her that I really appreciated the thought. I feel like a jerk for that, but a baby shower felt like something someone close to me should do.
Well, I'm the first of our close friends to be pregnant, so when the topic of baby shower came up with my two closest gals, they said they would be happy to throw the event. I don't think they knew what that means. One of them has told me she thinks my bump is "gross" and that it "creeps her out" that someone is living inside me. Anytime the baby comes up, she shuts down and wont talk about it. The other girl, has told me that she doesn't think she will need to start planning until my 7th month for the shower to occur in my 9th month. All of my family lives across the U.S. and would need to travel a great deal to come for me. These people are asking me when the shower is so they can buy plane tickets and make travel arrangements. I don't know what to tell them. My mom and sister will not be able to come for the birth, and were hoping to come for a shower.
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or disrespectful, but I'm feeling very lost at how to handle this. A near-stranger wanted to throw me a shower and I declined, only to feel like my closest girlfriends are dropping the ball. One of them even told me that a shower "isn't a big deal" and that we can just do a facebook event/invites.
Now, I'm well aware that proper etiquette is for the mommy-to-be not to be involved in the planning, as it is seem as a "gimme gimme gifts" in that case. However, I'm getting worried that it's going to be either throw my own or not have one. I can't ask someone to do it for me, as that's rude. In all honesty, I don't care about the gifts and registry. What I care about is a celebration for baby with my friends who support me.
I'm all for sitting back and letting the shower happen, but I find e-vites to any event to be tacky and impersonal. My husband offered to let them host it at our house, and during the initial conversation about it, we offered to pay for decorations or food if they didn't want to shell out cash for a party since both of my friends are in grad school.
Please, ladies. Let me know your opinions on this. Am I being selfish or silly? Am I letting my hormones and emotions go wild on this? I don't want to step outside babyshower etiquette.
If you don't think I'm being rude, please advise as to how I may go about handling this.
Please, ladies. Let me know your opinions on this. Am I being selfish or silly? Am I letting my hormones and emotions go wild on this? I don't want to step outside babyshower etiquette.
If you don't think I'm being rude, please advise as to how I may go about handling this.
Thanks again, and sorry for the novel about it!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Baby Shower questions!
Far as your friend thinking your a weirdo for being pregnant, I would have put her in her place. There is no need for you whole alien in your belly talk.
I'm trying to be on the sidelines with helping. I've told my friends to call me up if they need any help ect. Input or whatever. Unless you try to get more involved, it'll probably be whatever it will be. Poor planning is very frowned upon especially by people flying in for an event.
Shower at your house if you can accommodate that. It's easier if your doing food and your gifts are already home.
Sorry if I seem a bit of an ass about it but if you want something you have to put your foot down. Throwing something together last minute will do nothing but piss everyone off.
And as for the unnecessary pregnancy comments. I would ignore them. People say the rudest crap to pregnant people.