Anxiety about Breastfeeding.

Whootie · January 2015

Yes I promised I searched this topic first but did not find a post quite pertaining to what I am asking. Okay so my DS never latched and I ended up exclusively pumping for 14 mos. Yes 14 long months. And it was hard, the first 3 months on the pump I cried non stop. I desperately sought the help of lactation specialists and more seasoned mommies than myself. Honestly I can't imagine not breastfeeding with the amount of money it saved and the fact that DS has been sick once in the 2 1\2 years he has been around. Thinking about breastfeeding with baby #2 is giving me SO MUCH anxiety. I cry at the thought of being a slave to the pump again ( but than again I have to return to work at some point after babies arrival). I am hoping to get some advice and feed back on what to expect while breastfeeding with a toddler. I feel as if I am really learning about breastfeeding for the first time (things like being on babies schedule and not a set 4 hours for the pump). Transitioning back into work and juggling the baby and the pump when I return. Any moms who maybe breastfed for the first time with a 2nd or 3rd or so on? Advice greatly appreciated.

gingerbabe · January 2015

Bless your soul!! I can not stand pumping and could not have managed exclusively pumping for that long!

My first child did not latch well at first but figured it out after a couple weeks (still did not have a strong suck though). My second child latched on first try about 30 minutes after being born and had an amazing latch and suck from the first try. I'm not sure if this is purely child or also has to do with my breasts being more prepared to nurse since my 2 kids are so close in age. But in my experience, just because I had trouble with one did not mean I had trouble with the second.

Whootie · January 2015

Thanks I am hoping that is the case this time around!

sammyca · January 2015

I also found getting my 2nd baby to latch much easier than my first. However I had to work so much harder to maintain my supply with 2nd. Swings and roundabouts I guess.

jessiemt · January 2015

Lurker chiming in here. My first daughter had a hard time latching. She had a tongue tie. After a week of very frustrating nursing (her and I both crying ) we had her tongue clipped and started using a nipple sheild.
We nursed with a nipple sheild for four months then she decided she didn't need it anymore.
My second daughter had a much easier time latching and we nursed more successfully right away.
I was worried my three year old DD would not be very happy about me nursing the baby all the time . She was fine I let her watch extra tv and tablet those first few months after my dd2 was born but we survived.
Now this time my dd2 will only be 17 months so only time will tell how I will manage to entertain her while nursing lol.

swimbabyswim · January 2015

My first child did not latch well. It was torture!! I only nursed him 10 days. My second child was a different story my milk was slow coming in so I had to nurse and pump right after to build up my supply that was tough, pretty time consuming but it was worth it because I eventually was able to just nurse him for a year and I pumped at work. Every baby is different! Good luck

gingerbabe · January 2015

I wanted to also mention that the Breastfeeding board is awesome for more people who can help with breastfeeding questions and concerns. I read that board a lot with my first child and there is so much good advice on it!

laurendutch · January 2015

My first two were twins and one was an amazing nurser. S only latched once and that was with a nurse helping me in the hospital for like 3 hours at midnight. We tried everything. I think it has a lot to do with the individual child.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

Major props for pumping to 14 months. My supply dropped when I went back to work at 4 months. No advice on balancing a toddler and nursing, but wanted to offer some alternative perspectives. Nursing sounds important to you, and I agree with PP that this time may be just a little easier. I also used a nipple shield almost the entire time I nursed DD. No, it's not recommended but it worked. Also, formula is not the devil. It sometimes feels that way when you have to pay for it, but if you're having anxiety (literally) about this already, remember that a happy mom equals a happy baby and formula could be a solution for you.

Good luck!

esampson1983 · January 2015

gingerbabe said:
I wanted to also mention that the Breastfeeding board is awesome for more people who can help with breastfeeding questions and concerns. I read that board a lot with my first child and there is so much good advice on it!

I second this! I found a lot of helpful info about BF'ing on that board. Good luck!

Clbehenna · January 2015

Oh, OP, you're my hero for sticking it out with the pump for so long!!! I had a similar experience, also crying through the three months I pumped, which is when I went back to work an stopped. Try to keep in mind that every baby and every experience is different. Breastfeeding may go much more smoothly this time!

tahitiandreamin · January 2015

I have a similar story. DD wouldn't latch... tongue tie and then complete mouth disorganization. She couldn't even feed properly from a bottle. Then there was her dairy sensitivity. I pumped for 14 long and lonely months. This time I am NOT doing that again. It's more important that BOTH mom and baby are happy. If this little one has similar feeding issues then she will be a formula baby and I am perfectly ok with that. I have heard that each kid is different and maybe that will be the case. But I am resolved that I will put just as much thought into my happiness as my baby's and I will not neglect myself this time around. I TOTALLY understand the anxiety. I really, really, really do. If you are stressed about this now, make peace with the possibility of using formula. It's not bad and it may be a sanity saver for both you and your entire family.

There is so much pressure put on first time moms. I'm finding that with the second one due now I don't need to be a hero, I need to keep everyone happy and sane by whatever means possible.

amooraxo · January 2015

housewifebecomesher said:

Major props for pumping to 14 months. My supply dropped when I went back to work at 4 months. No advice on balancing a toddler and nursing, but wanted to offer some alternative perspectives. Nursing sounds important to you, and I agree with PP that this time may be just a little easier. I also used a nipple shield almost the entire time I nursed DD. No, it's not recommended but it worked. Also, formula is not the devil. It sometimes feels that way when you have to pay for it, but if you're having anxiety (literally) about this already, remember that a happy mom equals a happy baby and formula could be a solution for you. Good luck!

FTM here so excuse my stupid question... but what is the nipple shield you girls are talking about for nursing?

Schnurette · January 2015

DD wouldn't latch - only once did we manage it without me being in extreme pain. (Like, unreasonable, 'this isn't right' pain) and it was while the breast feeding expert was with us, at my house, helping. Basically she had me lie down with baby lying in front of me and just let baby root until she figured it out herself.

I think I was already so discouraged by that point, and DD was already getting used to the bottle (I was pumping too) that I just gave up.

I'll try breast feeding again this time but if I fail I am going to pump - maybe - for the first few months and then will switch to formula. I was way to exhausted trying to keep up with pumping and feeding all the time. (Every time DD woke up I was up for about 15 - 20 minutes feeding her and then 15 - 20 minutes pumping. So every 3 - 2hours I had to sit for 30 - 40 minutes...it was too much.)

My best advice - don't necessarily listen to the nurses. The nurse we had in the hospital refused to bring us formula (and I didn't have my pump as the trip to the hospital to give birth was in an ambulance and unexpected) and her "advice" was to come over and really aggressively grab DD by the back of the head and force her onto my boob. Honestly, I was so shocked that I was just kind of sitting there, DH was off to the side looking completely horrified and DD burst into tears. The nurse then said that I had let her cry too long and she was too upset so it wasn't going to happen. Uh, what.

wegrowsheep · January 2015

I'm just sitting here in awe of you pumping for 14 months. Gold medal worthy, that's a full month longer than I nursed either of mine. If I could do that, I wouldn't have any anxiety at all.
And really, relax and don't sweat it, because every baby is different. Don't borrow trouble

taboullio84 · January 2015

@amooraxo‌ - it's a thin plastic type of material that has a nipple you put over your nipple/breast to help baby latch on.

Google nipple shield..

Ana0927 · January 2015

I breastfeed DD 1 and 2 for 8 months. Both girls had breast milk jaundice. I had to alternate between formula and breast milk for a week until their bilirubin levels returned to normal. I switched back to BF and pumped once I returned to work. Once I went back to work and started pumping my supply slowly started to drop and I switched to formula.

I am already anxious getting ready to have a third kid, raising three kids, moving, working, and all the other things we have to deal with. I will try to BF this baby but if it doesn't work out I am not going to beat myself up about it.

Breastfeeding is important to me and it sounds important to you too. But sometimes the anxiety is not worth it. I hope things work out for you this time around but remember that the most important thing is that your baby is fed be it formula or breast milk.

Whootie · January 2015

Thank you all for the great responses. I guess only time will tell what happens I am just hoping for for the best! And I absolutely have no qualms with formula I just really enjoy the fact that I can nourish and care for my baby with my own supply.

hillj3180 · January 2015

You are gonna be great with baby #2. Just remember that with #2 you probably won't have all of the other anxieties around having your first. Since you know what to expect having a newborn, you can hopefully approach the bf with a little less anxiety overall. I totally agree that first baby not nursing well doesn't mean #2 won't be a nursing champ. And if you pumped for 14 months you are both a saint and have the perserverance to try bf again with this one. good luck!

mcleilers · January 2015

If you're going to breastfeed, you can get your Breastpump through insurance! Aeroflow Breastpumps is a great company that helps moms qualify, awesome customer service.

housewifebecomesher · January 2015

amooraxo said:

housewifebecomesher said:

Major props for pumping to 14 months. My supply dropped when I went back to work at 4 months. No advice on balancing a toddler and nursing, but wanted to offer some alternative perspectives. Nursing sounds important to you, and I agree with PP that this time may be just a little easier. I also used a nipple shield almost the entire time I nursed DD. No, it's not recommended but it worked. Also, formula is not the devil. It sometimes feels that way when you have to pay for it, but if you're having anxiety (literally) about this already, remember that a happy mom equals a happy baby and formula could be a solution for you.

Good luck!

FTM here so excuse my stupid question... but what is the nipple shield you girls are talking about for nursing?

I have been on mobile and missed this...they actually gave me one in the hospital. But it's much cheaper to buy your own. You can find them in the nursing supply area of Walmart, target, BRU. It's just a piece of plastic that especially helps with flat or inverted nipples. Medela also makes some cups (I forget what they are called) that sort of "train" your nipples.

You may not need it though! Best bet is to ask your LC.

sideboth · January 2015

You have amazing props from me for pumping for 14 months. I struggled with number 1 to BF. I plan to see how it goes with this one and not beat myself up regardless of the outcome.

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