October 2014 Moms
MrMrsandBaby
member
open letters
MrMrsandBaby
member
Not sure if we've done this before and I had to change the duplicate random thread so I figured why not!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: open letters
Please stop waking up every two hours on Sunday nights. Not cool.
Love, your mommy who needs to work on Mondays
Dear dude in the minivan,
Yes, I door dinged you. Next time park between the yellow lines and not on them. I'm not sorry.
Regards, woman with two children who needs to open doors to get them in the car.
I love you.
Me
I'm so sorry that you've known nothing but pain and trauma since DD was born. I hate the pump just as much as you do.
Me
The things that @MrsSinner402 said. And also, I'm sorry that I can't find the lanolin.
Love,
Me
P.S. - Please don't burst into flames.
I came back so I could gif on the bump. Stop keeping me busy.
Sincerely,
Busy in Baton Rouge
No my throat will not be sore. No I am not once again getting sick.
Please stop being a little bitch and buck up.
Love,
Me
Also....
Dear Mother Nature,
Stop dicking around and pick temp. Your killing me.
I mean yesterday I saw a little girl in short waiting in the ice cream man. What the cuss?
Sincerely,
Another Mother
I know we've only nursed side-lying for the last week since we've been knocked on our butts sick, but please be advised that this is NOT the only acceptable position for breastfeeding. We WILL be nursing upright again, even if it's a little less comfy.
And
Dear DS1,
The TV we've watched constantly for the last week is NOT the new normal. It's Monday. Time for school. :P
Love you both,
Mommy
Your smile is cute and I love it when you giggle. But at 4 am, that shit isn't cute.
Also please stop letting your poop get on your baby grow.
Thanks, love mum!
Please don't second guess every parenting decision DH and I make or comment like you actually know what DD likes/dislikes when you visit this coming weekend.
Your easily annoyed DIL
Your early Monday morning construction project woke up both me and my child. For that, I hex you with sleepless nights and no coffee.
Dear DH,
You left my child unattended and she ended up rolling onto the floor. I'm not over it, stop asking when I will forgive you. P.s. I like brownies.
Dear parents,
I don't mind that you want to come stay with us sometime this week. I mind you not telling me when you are coming or leaving. No, that's not an abnormal request.
Stop asking me if I'm breastfeeding. 90% of you are male and it's weird. Also, it's not appropriate to comment on my "figure," good or bad. Stop that too.
I realize you are old, but stop pooping on my carpet. I can only shampoo my carpets so many times a day before I put you outside.
Thank you for the amazing weekend. It was so nice spending time with you for our anniversary weekend. It was great that I even got a bit of time away from kid duty! Thanks for the awesome weekend. Yeah. Not any of that is even remotely true.
The tired overwhelmed sahm wife that never gets a break unless she's in the shower
Dear DS
Please play independently for a little bit. Leave the tv alone. Leave baby alone. Leave swing alone. Don't chase the dog. Don't touch remote. Don't pull everything out of the drawers.
Your exhausted mama
Dear DD
Stay the fuck asleep at night. Take a fucking nap during the day.
Your tired out, worn out, weary, dead-tired, ready to drop, drained, fatigued mama
Dear laundry
Please do yourself. This includes washing, folding and putting away.
Love, Ain't nobody got time for that
Dear dog,
Stop farting. You stink.
Kthxby, My nostrils are burning
Please stop driving so aggressively. Your about to lose your driving privileges with LO.
Signed,
Your daughter and grandson in the backseat.
P.S. - don't tell me to calm down and trust you when you're weaving in and out of traffic.
Please don't text me pictures of your adorable little man at 10:30pm and wake my sleeping DD on the night we chose to quit the RnP cold turkey.
Sincerely,
Your exhausted friend and mom of a sleep regressed three month old.
It's already 30 min past my scheduled appointment time. Its my last day of maternity leave. Please don't make me spend it all here.
Sincerely,
Annoyed patient
I'm allowed to be stressed out. Deal with it.
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
Cricket farts! Almost spit out my sandwich.
Dear DH,
Why can't you be more like me (only less bitchy)? I could really use a good helper.
XOXO
please die.
Thank You.
Dear Shitty Town Officials,
please do not cut down all the blackberry bushes on the other side of the street from my house and then LEAVE everything there in huge piles and NEVER come back to pick it up. I would have preferred the blackberry bushes which at least provided blackberries. Assholes.
Please retire and move here. I almost cried when you left today. You know you want to be able to see your grandson more often.
Dear DH,
I miss you when you work nights. I'm glad you are a unicorn DH…most of the time.
I know I haven't bought a ticket... but if I could win that'd be great.
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
Please don't come to work an hour late so I have to stay an hour overtime. I have a 3 month old at home who is relying on me to pump or nurse on a schedule.
Dear DH,
I'm sorry for flipping out at you for no reason after getting home an hour late last night. I was just exhausted but that's no excuse. And thanks for the brownies that you made for me but didn't tell me about until after I flipped out. I know I acted like a crazy bitch.
Dear baby girl,
I know you want the pacifier. You know you want the pacifier. So stop spitting it out until you have the ability to pick it up and put it back in your mouth by yourself.
Thanks for being such a unicorn tonight after the rough as few nights. Please stay that way all night as mommy needs some sleep before her first day back to work tomorrow.
Love, exhausted momma
Remember, DD and I can't go back to bed until after you get up. You went to bed at 9:45, don't you dare hit the snooze button this morning!
Your exhausted cranky wife who let's you sttn.
Eta: He totally hit snooze :-w
Hubs,
Please stop forgetting to take DS1 to preschool. Also, I know you're bitter because you feel emasculated by staying home with both boys.. however, that is never an excuse to be shitty to me. I'd be all over that opportunity in a heartbeat.
Dear all dairy products,
I miss you so much I could cry.
Amazing newborn son,
Please stop waking up every two hours and screaming as if someone is tearing off your leg. If you were really starving, ok.. but eating half an ounce or an ounce and then falling back to sleep after waking the house is not cool.
Love your working and exhausted and still pumping for a measly 8 ounces a day Mama
30 dx with PCOS 2010 treating with metformin
DS1 12-29-11 DS2 11-4-14
BFP 10/19/13 missed mc at 5 weeks d&c 11/18/13
BFP 2/16/14 Please stick baby! ! EDD 10/31/14
DX with septate uterus 3/1/14
I'm sorry you are not the babies anymore, but please stop barking at nothing and peeing on everything. You are driving me crazy!
This is not District 12. We can do what we want!
And stop talking about what is best for everyone. It is the creeps!
Saragoeswest