What are you doing or what did you do for LO's last name? We were planning on giving our daughter my last name as a middle name, but I'm having second thoughts and we are considering hyphenating her last name. Just curious what M15 ladies have to say about this.
Also, I can handle some bureaucracy and don't worry much about having to explain that she has my husband's last name, but I am slightly worried that if my last name isn't represented in her last name, it could cause some problems with medical emergencies or travel.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Re: If you and your partner have different last names...
Edited: spelling
For suzyq0525
As for medical-I never really considered that. I feel like with all the ways security in schools and so forth are tightening up, the same last name doesn't mean too too much.
Also, before my H and I were even married I never had any issues. I told them I was step mom and they never questioned me or my different last name.
Married the love of my life: 5-17-14
BFP:6-27-14
EDD:3-11-15
Step Mom to Z: 4-11-06
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!
One of my friends had two kiddos with her boyfriend and gave them his last name. He turned out to be a horribly abusive man, but I don't think she could change their names without his permission and he'd never give her that. Her last kid has her husband's last name, which she took when they got married.
Another friend of mine kept her maiden name, and her daughters last name is a hyphenate.
In this day and age I don't think there's a right or wrong way of doing it.
I grew up in a blended family. Some of us has had one last name, some of us had another. We never had any issues with schools, doctors, etc. Especially in a smaller town, folks know who you belong to
Me: 28 | SO: 28
BFP: July 22, 2014 | EDD: March 28, 2015
I had a hard time when I got married because I kind of wanted to keep both names. I ended up keeping my mom's name and taking DH's as my last. As far as I know, I'm the only one of my generation with my mom's name, so it meant a lot to me to keep it.
m/c 2002 7w2d
bfp 9.6.12 | edd 5.17.13 | m/c 9.19.12 5w5d
bfp 10.18.12 | edd 6/28/13
beta#1 10.18.12 - 96 / progestrone 32 || beta#2 10.22.12 - 711 || beta#3 10.25.12 - 2608 DD born 6/27/13
bfp 7.16.14 | edd 3/27/15
beta#1 7.18.14 - 149 || beta#2 7.21.14 - ??
I have my husband's last name. Growing up though my last name was hyphenated, and I hated it. I think it causes confusion, and is too long to fit on forms and standardized testing bubbles.
I would reccomend giving your last name as the middle name.
That said, I would be hesitant to give my child his/her father's name is we weren't married. It would be easier to change it later if you got married, than change it back if you broke up and had an antagonistic relationship.
Where is my arm?!?
Due March 17, 2015
I have told my H if he will take my last name I'll take his too (not hyphenated for him, just another middle name) that I will hyphenate. I don't really care what other people choose to do but I've always felt strongly that I want to keep my name and would be happy to add my husbands name if he was willing to do the same. So if we ever decide to do that the kids will already have both.
My SO and I are not married and truthfully do not plan on getting married anywhere in the near future because of personal choice. I always knew from the beginning that she would get his last name and have been totally 100% fine with it as I really don't even care. TBH I hate my last name *cue user name* and that is a big reason why I don't care. If we were having a boy then my feelings may be different about it but my decision would still be the same because I know how important it would be for him. My family has gotten over the initial shock of the situation but have been pushing for a hyphenated last name, again I didn't really care and agreed to talk to him about it and if he was ok with it then that is what we would do but he didn't want that and so therefore my last name will in no way be in her name which is am totally fine with. Plus the fact that despite the fact that we are not planning on getting married at this point in time it doesn't mean we never will. I never really thought about the situation causing any issues as we will have the birth certificate which will obviously prove me as being the mother.
Eta: I thought that I would add something after reading other responses. I agree that it is situation dependent as well. I mean I know a few girls who have had their kids last names changed because they broke up with their baby daddy and he decided to not be in the childs life anymore. Actually my SOs mom did this. He was given his dads last name at birth and then they changed it while he was still young which has never been an issue with him because he was so young he doesn't even remember having the original last name. In my situation, I am not naïve t think that we could never ever break up just because we have a kid but for me I know that even if that situation occurs he would still be in her life 100% do doubt about it. If I was not sure then I might push to give her my last name.
#1 BFP 11/6/12 EDD 07/19/13 Delivered 07/23/13 - Baby boy Everett John
#2 BFP 07/06/14 EDD 03/12/15
I know two families personally that gave the kids mom's last name and not dad's, but that seems rare. I know a lot of families where mom changed her name to dad's after the kids were born. Most of the families I know that hyphenate the kids' names are same sex couples. I can't imagine giving up my name, and I didn't think I'd mind giving her DH's name, but I'm still figuring that part out.