birth plans

SassFrass · January 2015

I was wondering how many of us were going to use birth plans, or have used them before?

With DD, I didn't have any plans in place, and I remember a few things that I wish I would have been more assertive about and had in place. I didn't have a horrible experience, but it definately has room for improvement. I know I want immidiate skin-to-skin and bf'ing before any newborn procedures take place... but I'm not sure exactly what else I may add to try and make it a positive experience for both dh (his first child) and I. I know there is ALWAYS a possibility of nothing going the way I plan at all.... but in a perfect world I can dream right!?

What are some things you included before or plan on including this time?

CTri17 · January 2015

I think put what is MOST important to you in there (I doula on the side) make sure it is only one page and you can always know that you would like other things but your DH can be your person to help with that. Do you want intermittent monitoring if possible? being able to labor out of bed/in a tub etc.

wait till the cord stops pulsing/skin to skin, no episiotomy etc.

SassFrass · January 2015

Both replies so far are great! I never thought about the episiotimy! I'd def rather skip that! I know I've done this all before, but I still get nervous at times!

Snapdragon750 · January 2015

I had a birth plan for my first but didn't really bother with my second. I made sure my H knew what I wanted and to be my advocate just in case, and I also felt comfortable enough with my doctors by then to know that they'd respect my wishes and that we were on the same page. I don't plan to use a birth plan with my third either because I'm using midwives at a birth center, and everything that I wanted in my birth plan is just part of their basic model of care.

kaynix21 · January 2015

ajzmommy said:

I found a website that helped me a lot. Here are a few things important to me and DH: As long as my baby is healthy, I would like my baby placed immediately skin-to-skin on my abdomen with a warm blanket over it. Please do not separate me and my baby until after my baby has successfully breastfed on both breasts. Please delay all essential routine procedures on my baby until after the bonding and breastfeeding period (i.e., bathing). https://blog.earthmamaangelbaby.com/birth-plan/ Hope this helps!

I went here and started reading through .... totally overwhelmed with all the things I have NO CLUE about. Ugh.

rivers714 · January 2015

My plan: epidural. I'm such high anxiety I'm afraid if I plan and it doesn't happen then I'll be super stressed. Lowering the bar in my case

Alliinwonderland · January 2015

marybeth080710 said:
I spent hours and hours making a birth plan, went over it with my OB multiple times, then ended up throwing everything out the window when I had to be induced due to high blood pressure and then the baby went into distress and I had to have an emergency c-section.

Birth plans are great, everyone should have one, but don't be so attached to it that you can't be flexible. I felt "cheated" out of the birth I had pictured, which is silly because at the end of the day I had a healthy baby and that's all that matters.

It's nice and all to have a plan in mind but I agree with the above statement.. You can have everything planned out perfectly but your body and the baby won't necessarily stick to that plan, leading to disappointment and a bit higher of a risk for PP depression. To have a healthy baby is a great plan.

khaleesi123 · January 2015

@rivers714‌ that's my entire birth plan too haha! They were telling me about the birth centre and I was like 'wow that sounds wonderful.. Wait a minute.. Can I still get epidural?' Nope no way need the epi

rivers714 · January 2015

Power to the med free ladies. I labored all night with my son and it was just nice that the epidural took the edge off even though I needed piticin because it slowed my contractions- getting a nice two hour nap in was pretty much what gave me the energy to push after being up all night with back contractions

beefinch · January 2015

I just plan to "go with the flow", I do have a high pain endurance, but being a FTM I have NO idea what I'm in for, my Mum and best friends have all said that they think I will cope well, which is some comfort I guess.
I do want skin to skin straight away, him to be placed right on my chest, that's the only main thing that has stuck in my head.
Im just going to listen to my body and let it do it's own thing, my bodies the one that's grown my son and I'm sure it can do it's job of getting him out, whether that'll be a c-section or natural!
Looking forward to it anyway

rivers714 · January 2015

No lol. I packed my bag the night I was in labor, I didn't know about classes, never toured the hospital, they asked about a birth plan at an appt- but that's kinda up to you. I think midwives and doulas are historically better about them- nursing vs medical approach .. They can be simple or super elaborate. I don't think hospitals are required to honor your plan, it's not binding or anything either

djm31012 · January 2015

We did no plan last time and I am sticking with the same thing. My hospital automatically does skin to skin (baby came out and was placed right on me). The only thing I said before hand was I definitely want an epidural. Otherwise I wanted to just leave it in the hands of the doctors ,whatever was best for me and my baby.

roundtwoOMG · January 2015

I didn't really have a plan with my son, other than delayed cord clamping, skin to skin and breast feeding right away. I was at a baby friendly hospital so all of that (minus the delayed cord clamping) was standard practice.

I didn't even end up with the delayed cord clamping because the cord detached from the placenta during the end of labour.

Not to start anything (I mean it) - but what is the thing behind the "birth experience" that people feel sad to have missed? Is this a new thing? I don't think our parents generation had this kind of focus on the experience for the mother. I've read a lot of birth stories of so called 'great birth experiences" and maybe I kind of get it, but I guess I wonder if such a strong focus on getting it is a little one sided? I don't know. I'm honestly asking if someone can explain it to me! Thanks.

putput19 · January 2015

bwisco123 said:
FTM question. Is a birth plan something my dr will discuss with me before DH and I make one or do DH and I pretty much just make one and bring it up ourselves??

@bwisco123‌ I asked my doctor about it around 30 weeks last time. She laughed and said I can feel free to write what I want but it will change. She did tell me some of the things I wanted were against the office and hospital policy. Such as, delayed cord clamping.

We delay Hep. B till later appointments and don't do the eye antibiotics so those things are important to tell the nurses when you get to the hospital.

roundtwoOMG · January 2015

marybeth080710 said:

@roundtwoOMG‌ when I say I didn't get the experience that I want, I guess I mean that I didn't plan on having emergency surgery or my baby being taken immediately for medical intervention. I thought it was going to be this beautiful, natural moment where I saw and held my baby for the first time, instead everything was very clinical and a little scary because I didn't know if the baby was ok. I would much rather have a vaginal birth, skin to skin, breastfeed baby, etc. but that wasn't in the cards for me.

Thanks, @marybeth080710 - I see what you are saying. I don't think anyone 'wants' the emergency c-section experience. Especially when you are worried about your baby's health!!

amalama · January 2015

My OB last time gave me a sheet to fill out about a month before my due date. It was just the basics and that's all I did. I was mostly just concerned with breast feeding right away, other than that I am all for whatever works for me/my doctor at the time.

This time I am at a different hospital but they have a similar form to fill out. I will probably look it over just to make sure but I feel pretty much the same about it.

MrsPDX · January 2015

I am definitely writing one!

Mine is going to include:

-Please note, unless medical situation arises and it is medically necessary, I do not want an epidural or pitocin

-The only people permitted in the hospital room during labor should be my mother, DH (if DH is there, then only DH, if he's not, then my mom), my doula and nurses and midwife.

-Please delay cord clamping (at least 45-60 seconds)

-Immediately birth baby should be wiped off, and then placed on my me for at least an hour, giving time for skin to skin contact and breastfeeding, unless baby needs immediate medical attention. All essential (non-medically relevant) room procedures should be delayed at least an hour, giving us time (ex: bath).

-Immediately after birth, no one except nurses, midwife and DH should be permitted in the hospital room until at least 1 hour (may change this to longer).

-The placenta should immediately be put on ice and given to my mother or DH to store in cooler, located in delivery room.

For now that's what I have.

I know birth plans are not always followed due to the unexpected happening, and I am ok with that. If baby is born healthy, then hey that it is a successful birth in my book! Even if I am given pitocin and a c-section. BUT, if it is not medically necessary to induce or have a c-section and the birth is uncomplicated, I would like to keep to as much as I can.

nbuczek · January 2015

I was wondering if anyone has had problems with your Dr/Nurses not honoring your birth plan or ignoring it? I plan on a natural birth (hopefully), but when I mentioned this to my Midwife she kinda rolled her eyes and said it was too early to think about that and I really have no idea how things will go. I have since changed Drs, but I am really adamant about no Epidural and concerned the L&D Drs/Nurses will push it on me regardless...

Obviously if it is between my life/the baby's life and an epidural the decision is yes to epidural, but that is worst case scenario!

EntropicEpona · January 2015

Our OB made us write down a birth plan last time, but all we really wanted was to finally leave the hospital with a living baby. So our plan consisted of this:

"No plan of attack survives first contact with the enemy" meaning that we wanted to do whatever we needed to to make our goal a reality. That actually managed to be the best plan for us, after a failed/cancelled scheduled c/s which turned into a horrific pain med free induction. Ultimately we left the hospital with our daughter.

MrsTwiddy · January 2015

I had a 2 page birth plan last time. I was in labor for 21 hours and then had to have a c-section.

I know I have to have a c-section this time so, yeah, that's my plan. No need for anything else.

AJ&BJ · January 2015

For my son, there was a birth plan template in the book we got from the hospital. We also talked a lot about it in our childbirth class (obviously). We did an exercise that I thought was really cool where they gave us all these notecards with options around what was important to us with our labor (med free, vaginal birth, healthy baby, c-section, ect) and had us design or ideal birth. Then they had us get rid of cards until you were down to 2 (healthy baby and one other). For my husband and I that was really helpful to get on the same page and figure out what was the most important thing in our birth plan. I think it also helped when me not feel disappointed when my med free birth went out the window.

SassFrass · January 2015

I am super antsy about giving birth again, and I honestly dont know why. lol
I know that nothing is 100% guaranteed, but I just feel like a few things HAVE to go my way, like the whole immediate skin-to-skin, immediate bf'ing, DH giving the first bath... those are my most important must haves. Everything else is really just me being a picky bitch, like wanting the lights dimmed and tv volume low and not to ask me to rate my pain, I have better things to think about!

peteresa · January 2015

My birth plan is to not have a birth plan! I don't want to feel disappointed about anything so I won't create one since it is all really out of my control anyway! I just told my OB that I wanted to try for a natural birth as long as possible and as long as baby and I are safe....that's it!

Hawk&Eye · January 2015

Our doula really helped keep our birth plan in play (even though we didn't get everything we wanted). In the moment, we forgot about delayed cord cutting and barely made it. I didn't want an epi and our doula was a huge advocate. Three doctors came in all at once offering it. It was like dangling a feast in front of a starving person, but she basically politely escorted them out. My midwife bailed at the 11 (millionth) hour and I had 2 doctors delivering DS - both completely oblivious that there even was a birth plan. But once again our doula stepped in and tried her best to stick to the birth plan.

So I guess I'm saying having someone else besides DH advocate your wishes is very helpful and may end up getting more of the items checked off your plan. DHs can get just as wrapped up in the moment especially after baby arrives as you can.

katiekolator · January 2015

Thanks for sharing this site. It is a little overwhelming, but I'd rather know now than be surprised during delivery or miss a potential opportunity. Like anything else in life, things of course don't always go to plan, but I think it is very helpful to prepare in advance and be educated so informed decisions can be made as needed.

christieb27 · January 2015

Wow- this thread was very informative. I need to rethink everything now!

babymcb21 · January 2015

I will make a birth plan, but probably not until after the childbirth class I'm taking at the birthing center where I'll be delivering. I figure then I'll have a better idea about standard procedure, policy, etc.

Srsly tho, am I the only one whose more afraid of an epidural than the pain of labor? The thought of putting a needle and catheter in my back freaks me the f out! *shudder*

mpiemont · January 2015

This was our birth "wish list" (Our doula suggested calling it that) for our 1st and 2nd babies. I will be tweaking it just a tad after I meet with my new midwife and using it again for this baby.

"Low Intervention Birth Wish List for M M

In preparing for the birth of our 2nd child, we have the following goals that we hope our hospital staff, doctor, and doula will help us reach. We realize it is impossible to predict the process of labor and birth, and that any of these objectives may need to change throughout labor & delivery. We are flexible should a situation arise requiring us to change our preferences and would like to be included in all decision making/be provided with informed consent. We rely on your expertise in helping us reach our ultimate goal- delivery of a healthy baby.

1. -Labor & birth to progress naturally without medical assistance & without time constraints, as long as mother and baby are doing fine

2. -Use of natural methods of pain relief (massage, shower/bath, birth ball, breathing, change in position). If the need for pain medication arises, we will request it, and prefer it not to be offered

3. -Will take care of hydration/nutrition. M is fine with having a heplock IV

4. -Baby to be monitored intermittently per hospital protocol

5. -M to choose the most comfortable position for pushing/delivery, & for the baby to be placed on her immediately with hopes to begin breastfeeding; delay cutting of cord until it stops pulsing

6. -M does not consent to an episiotomy

7. -Request placenta to be handled carefully and released to M after it’s been examined, not sent to pathology or discarded

8. -Delay non-urgent newborn procedures until after initial recovery period (1-2 hours) & for DH to accompany the baby for examination, bath, etc as hospital policy allows; afterwards non-separation at all times.

9. -Exclusively breastfeeding; please no bottles, pacifiers, or formula

Thank you for helping us to reach the goals we have set for the birth of our child!"

sunnyday016 · January 2015

This is my 3rd child and will be my 3rd time birthing without a written plan. With my first two, my only plan was to get the baby out. I ended up having 2 vastly different birth experiences (first one was med free not entirely by choice and the second was an emergency c-section.) My hope this time is for a VBAC, and my plans for epi are up in the air. I'm not exactly dying to experience a med-free delivery again.

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