New here - stressed and scared

drhooch · January 2015

Hi All. I am new to the boards and I'm looking for some support. We've been married 7.5 years, but because of work causing us to be long distance for most of that time, we just started trying last year. I went off BC December 2013, and we actively started trying in March 2014. Because of my age (34 next month) my OBGYN started infertility testing after 6 months. So far, all of my tests have been normal (SA, CD3 FSH, CD21 progesterone, estrogen, ultrasound, next up is HSG) but that isn't making me feel any better right now, particularly with my upcoming birthday. I hate all the waiting, and the disappointment month after month, and I'm having trouble coping, particularly with so many others' pregnancy announcements. And because my husband and I look to be in the time of our life to have children, we get questions often whether we do and then why we don't. I know other people don't know I'm struggling with IF, but it still hurts. Anyway, I'm sure none of this is new to you ladies, but it's new to me and I am having trouble coping.

LoveActually55 · January 2015

Welcome! This is a great board. Sorry you are here, but glad you found us. What is your next step? Are you working with a RE?

cm312rn · January 2015

I'm sorry that you find yourself here. I hate the "when are you going to have kids" question. It sucks!! I would definitely have your HSG done. The biggest advice I can give you is that if you choose to do any IF treatment, please seek the care of a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). OBGYN's don't do the necessary monitoring that is crucial.

((HUGS)) Hang in there!! I know it's tough.

LindseyM2012 · January 2015

I'm so sorry you find yourself here and you aren't getting any answers yet. The testing process seems like it takes forever and they run so many that some people start thinking, "Is this all necessary?" But at the end of all the testing comes the planning and implementation phase, even if you end up being "unexplained." There will be a point when you'll be able to take some action!

It sounds like your ob has you off to a good start. Has the ob mentioned to you possible next steps (referral to RE?) Getting testing through an ob is great, but any fertility treatments really should be through an RE. Also, an ob may not fully know how to interpret each test as it relates to getting pregnant (e.g. My ob identified my thyroid levels as being within normal limits, which they are for general purposes. My RE has me on meds to lower thyroid levels because they were a tad too high for TTC purposes)

I know it's really hard, but the waiting will end some time. In the meantime, this board is a great place for support.

bookworm40 · January 2015

Welcome, sorry you find yourself here and I hope your stay here is short. PP's gave some great advice and it looks like you are on the path of figuring things out. I to get the looks of why aren't you having children and I get asked all the time. People don't understand what we are all going through and they just think it's a decision we are making not to.

drhooch · January 2015

I am still with my OB. My health insurance doesn't cover infertility testing or treatment, so I am staying with her as long as possible to avoid having to pay out of pocket. After lurking on here for a bit I will absolutely not try any treatment with her, though. Thanks for your replies!

SND1231 · January 2015

Glad to see that you will not be doing treatment with your OB. I know a lot of the ladies here did testing with their OBs when they didn't have IF coverage. Good luck and welcome!

Remylove1011 · January 2015

Welcome and sorry that you find yourself here! It's ok to do all testing through an OB as long as your RE will accept the tests. They sometimes will not, so that's something to consider. Good luck on your journey and I hope your stay here is short!

PeonyPop · January 2015

Sorry you have to be here! I can totally relate to the 'being in that stage of life,' so people feeling the need to ask about it or just looking at me with 'that look' that begs the question. It's so frustrating, because it's true... we ARE at that stage along with most of our peers, just not able to enjoy it yet. I have a bajillion friends who had their first or already lapped me on to their second in the time we've been trying. My sister is only a year younger than me and single.. I don't know who has it worse, but at least we can commiserate together, haha!

It did help me to share the basics of our issues with immediate family and close friends IRL... some know more than others (the amount of knowledge varies based on how comfortable I feel with them.. only a few know that we are going through treatments, but more know there is an issue in general.. ). Perhaps you have a couple people that might be safe to share your feelings/struggles? Some ladies here have also had great experience seeing a therapist. I totally understand if you're not ready to open up esp so early on, because it took a while for me to be comfortable doing so.. regardless of what you do IRL, we are here for you to hear everything you have to say on it, so welcome to our little corner of the web

MustangChic · January 2015

Welcome, but sorry you are here. PP gave great advice. Good luck!

home2sara · January 2015

Welcome! I am new to this as well but so far have found its nice to have support from others who understand what you're going through.

As far as the people asking when you are having kids, that is the worst. As soon as you get married for some reason everyone you have ever met feels like they can pry into your plans for children. It sucks every time. I agree with @Peonypop about sharing what your comfortable with to family and close friends. It really does help to have people to talk to. But this group can also be that for you.

I also highly recommend seeing an RE ASAP. I know the costs and the mere fact of needing that extra help is overwhelming. My husband and I put it off for a few months before deciding to go. They can give you much better insight to your fertility tests that your OB doesn't. And they will give you hope on the next step if it comes to that.

I wish you the best of luck and hope your stay is short.

Lthompson0525 · January 2015

Welcome to the group! Sorry you are here but we are here to help support you.

I would suggest (like everyone else) seeing an RE. My insurance also does not cover IF so we are paying for everything out of pocket so I am keeping my fingers crossed for a BFP so that it's all money well spent. If you have any questions on costs or things like that I may be able to be of help to you.

Best of luck!

drhooch · January 2015

Thanks everyone!

@murrt - SA is the first thing we had done. I figured it was the easiest, least invasive test so we started there. Completely normal. My OB has mentioned Clomid but boy am I glad I lurked here before she prescribed it!

@Peonypop - I have told a few family members. I told my parents early on because they took every chance they got to ask when I would give them grandkids and it was making me crazy. My SIL has also been a great support to me.

****children mentioned****

My SIL has a 1 year old, and she's older (my age) and it took them a while to conceive, so she has been really supportive.

@Lthompson0525 - I'd love some idea of costs so I can know what I'm getting into and start saving!

Want a personalized experience?

New here - stressed and scared

Re: New here - stressed and scared

Choose Another Board

Search Boards