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Trouble TTC a Sibling
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Stupid things people say when you're TTC a sibling

KatelobsterKatelobster member
in Trouble TTC a Sibling
Does everyone else get stupid or thoughtless comments about having another child? Can we have a vent thread about it? I guess I have a lot to get off my chest, maybe y'all have the same problem.

I have a coworker, an older guy who has a crotchety old man type personality, who tells me I need to have another every time I see him in the lunch room. It's been going on for a year and I'm so over it. He complains about how he was an only child, how his daughter was an only child not by choice (bc divorce, I think) and how I just need to have another already so my kid can have a sibling. I want to punch him all.the.time.

Another coworker is a woman with a son my age and his first child/her first grandchild is the same age as my daughter. Of course, the son had another kid last month. Right before that, on my freakin birthday, she came in my office to say happy birthday... then squeeee about her upcoming grandbaby. OK fine, I can handle that. Then she looks at me and goes, "You know, it's time for YOU to have another." (yes I do work with the most unprofessional people ever- I mean really, who says that to a coworker??). I was totally blindsided by this and mumbled something incoherent. Then she looks surprised and says, "Oh, don't you WANT another baby?" and launches into a story about how great it is to have siblings. When I finally got her out of my office, I closed the door and cried. Great birthday :/

thanks for listening. anyone else have one they want to share?
baby girl  5.12
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Re: Stupid things people say when you're TTC a sibling

  • leah2489leah2489 member
    Yeah that is so frustrating. Luckily I don't have any co-workers like that. I dread holidays though because it means I will have to listen to all of my aunts/grandmas ask a million and one personal questions about when we're planning on having another one, or how TTC is going, and stories about this person or that person who miraculously got pregnant and blah blah blah. 

    I get that they're curious and it's just people's natural reaction to ask when a sibling is coming, but just leave me alone! Lol.
    Me-30     DH-28
    BFP #1-EDD 04/06/2001, DS born 04/02/2001
    BFP #2-EDD 08/12/2006, DD born 08/19/2006
    TTC #3 since 6/12
    BFP #3-M/C in August 2012 at 6 weeks
    BFP #4-M/C in January 2013 at 9 weeks
    11/14-blood work, ultrasound, and DH SA all normal
    12/14-1st cycle of Clomid; BFN
    1/15-2nd cycle of Clomid
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  • KikabellKikabell member
    I get this all the time by my coworkers. Three of us were pregnant the first time together. One had her second in May and the other one is currently pregnant. I am constantly gettingn questions of when am I going to have a second. I always respond with it will happen when it's the right time thinking people will be able to read between the lines but they really don't get it. Asking people about having a baby is very personal why do people think itbis okay to constantly ask. Recently I started telling people that we have been trying for a year and a half and leave it at that. Let them feel uncomfortable, maybe they will think twice before asking me again or asking others who may be going through the same thing.

    Sorry you have to go through this. It sucks.
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  • Greco1014Greco1014 member
    Ugggh....that sucks so much. I think people assume that because we already have one, of course we could have another one whenever we want. I don't have coworkers right now but I have family members tell me, "You've got to have another baby!" And one of these family members only ever had one child herself due to fertility issues, so you'd think she'd know better...
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • emsmama15emsmama15 member
    I think all tact goes out the window when people are talking about this subject.  I have a co-worker, who I love dearly, who was saying this to me EVERY SINGLE TIME she saw me - "when are you having another?" "isn't it about time for another?" and on and on and on.  I finally just stopped, looked her in the eye, and said "Look, we're trying and it's just NOT going as quickly as we'd like either." She apologized and hasn't said a word since.  Her face was priceless though! :)  I've also used "It's just not easy for us to get pregnant" when people ask me tactless questions like this.  But it's like a little dagger through my heart every time.  UGH!
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
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  • ckk8584ckk8584 member
    Yes ALL the time. Most of the girls I was pregnant with the first time around have either had a second or are pregnant again. So they ask me all the time and it's really painful. Every time I hear a pregnancy announcement it stings
    Blessed to be married to my best friend & so in love with our little man!!
    Mason Robert born 4/26/2012

    Me:  31   DH:  35
    Unexplained Secondary Infertility
    TTC#2 since Spring 2014
    Clomid 50mg BFP 8/27/15, chemical pregnancy 8/30/15
    Clomid 100mg IUI #1 10/12/15....BFN.
    TTC Break until January 2016.

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