Is Trouble TTC the right group for me? Newbie

Echogirlxo · January 2015

Hi everyone,

I'm in the process of seeing my family doctor for my infertility. Where I live we don't have access to an RE, so I will likely be sent to a OB/Gyno. I just want to know if I can seek support here during my journey. I know I won't have the same experience as the majority of you seeing RE's… (I have read a lot of threads). I hope I can find support, and good advice in this group. If not, are there any suggestions?

A little bit of my background:

Canadian, 24, married since Oct 2011. TTC since Oct 2013. My mother had fertility issues (had to use Clomid, got pregnant after 8 years of trying).

On a personal note, I'm feeling very down/depressed lately… Our close group of friends are all having babies, and got pregnant right away… I work as an ultrasound technician and scan babies everyday, get asked my patients regularly if I have kids of my own. Trying to put on a brave face at work, with my family and friends - even my husband - is emotionally exhausting. And yes I know I am still *young*, but it's hard to explain to everyone how I feel hopeless and "broken"...betrayed by my body.

=(( It might sound dramatic, but it's how I feel at the moment, and writing it down helps!!

Thank you.

LindseyM2012 · January 2015

Sadly, you do fit here. So sorry about that. I completely understand feeling sad. I can't imagine how difficult your job is. Age is no matter here, so don't worry about being young. Some IF issues know no age.

As far as getting referred to an ob/gyn, I'd be nervous about that. Do you know how far away the closest RE is? Some ladies who have been prohibitively far from the REs office can see ob/gyns who work directly with the RE for monitoring appointments. The ladies who do that (as I understand this) make the trip to an RE's office for the major appointments (consultations and treatment reviews) and an ob/gyn's office for ultrasounds and bloodwork (monitoring stuff). But all treatment decisions and protocols come from the RE. I wonder if that may be a possibility for you?

theholmanherd · January 2015

Welcome! I'm sorry you find yourself here. I get the 'you're too young' thing too. I don't know how you do your job; you're a brave soul.

emmuffy · January 2015

Can you consult with a RE via skype or another method? Some REs have satellite clinics or other programs. (I'm also Canadian - welcome!)

Emy426 · January 2015

You fit right in, and I'm sorry your going through this. It's so hard to come up with a response even when your asked the question over and over. I feel the same way. I always think to myself I shoulda come up with a blanket statement by now. I get the questions at work all the time (teacher). But most of the time it's straight out "your pregnant?!" I'm skinny so I know it's not the way I look. It's just they're waiting for it, I guess. And my husbands side of the family asks at every get together. It's quite annoying!! He feels like we should tell them we're having a hard time but I really don't want to, that would be harder got me. And honestly I don't want them to know, my family either. You'd think common courtesy would be to shut it and not ask (over and over again) until told. Especially every single time. It's something I still struggle with being asked and not having a response. I feel your pain and I hope things work out for you soon. It hurts too that alllll my friends are mothers or pregnant. I just don't fit in anymore. And my sister and SIL already have two. I feel like my kids will have no cousins to play with. Except for my sister who is thinking of a 3rd and says she's trying to wait for me.

bookworm40 · January 2015

Hi and welcome, you do fit in here. I hope your stay here is short! I understand all that you are feeling with everyone around you. I'm 38 and still have to deal with it, although now everyone is announcing they are pregnant with their 2 and 3rds... It's hard but thats why we are here, to vent to and to ask questions. Good luck with your journey!

SND1231 · January 2015

Welcome. I think you fit in here. Hope your stay is short and sweet!

Remylove1011 · January 2015

Welcome! Sorry that you find yourself here, but it's a great place for support and answers.

Echogirlxo · January 2015

Thanks for all the kind words… Feels so good to let it out and see that I'm not the only one struggling (although I wish nobody was struggling).

It's nice to hear something else than "If you stop stressing about it, it will happen" (close friends of mine.) … "Just be patient." …"You're still young!"

@Emy426, I also wonder the same about common courtesy (I've been in similar situations), but then I think am I'm just being bitter? It's frustrating too giving out the same empty answers "Ohhhh no kids yet!" *fake smile*

I had this one patient, a woman in her 50s, ask me "What are you waiting for?! With your job it must give you the urge to have a baby!" It's like nobody ever stops to think - what if she can't get pregnant? What if she has already, but lost it? THINK PEOPLE. But I know, I know… For some, it's like talking about the weather, a general topic…. But NO. Just, no.

Anyways… That was my vent for the day. I have other little incidents that have upset me lately, but I will save them for another night. Thinking about it now, it's probably what brought me here… Too many little incidents, and nobody to vent to.

** Ohh and a little update: went to the family doctor today, he filled up a requisition for the infertility clinic. Told me I had to ask my husband to come in so he can give his SA (or he CAN'T send the requisition). Then it's a 4 to 6 month wait, and older women get priority (which I understand), so it could be longer… Fingers crossed that it's not too long. He said my blood tests came back normal (hormones all within normal range).

LindseyM2012 · January 2015

So glad you'll get your referral. The waiting is really difficult, but you'll be on the books! Hopefully they have a cancellation list you can get on - always ask about that!

Is Trouble TTC the right group for me? Newbie

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