What to post

nmfranklin00 · January 2015

Ok I really am just curious, so I'm going to just ask....I'm not trying to start anything or get people upset, I really just don't know and I have a feeling other First Time members are curious too...

Dumb question, but what exactly are we supposed to post on here? Everything I see is a question-- which people respond with "use google or look at old posts"....or silly posts, which people respond with "that should be in the random thread"....
What if I have a question and Google is freaking me out with too serious of reasons for it, or the old threads address it somewhat but don't answer it, or I just want to know if anyone RIGHT NOW is experiencing what I am...

So, again....what exactly are we allowed to post/ should we post without getting made fun of or chastised for?

MEXARAB · January 2015

I would post whatever the hell you want. And ignore the rude post. Anyhow that's what I do. People shouldn't read it if they don't want to.

juliesusann · January 2015

I feel you OP! Apparently you have to post something interesting, educational, and not related to pregnancy on "The Bump" forum in order for it to be acceptable.

JerseyML · January 2015

Take a second to search. If you wonder if you can eat something or use something or feel something do a google search. If an answer doesn't pop up or there is conflicting results, then ask.

Need to bitch, post away.

Have a situation and can't ask mom, sis, bff or co worker…let us know what's up.

What pissed people off were the same questions on the front page. Or something as ridiculous as, I'm a FTM is it ok to walk upright? Will I lose the baby? Can I shower longer than 5 minutes? My vagina itches, am I dying?!?!

You get the point.

Avoid serious medical issues. Call your doctor. That's what they are there for. If you don't trust your doctor, you should really get another one. When he/she is all up in the vajayjay you sure is shit want to trust that person.

Koalaknuckles · January 2015

I feel you on that one.

I love participating in forum discussions, I'm generally more of a talker than a lurker.

I have found the search function quite useful, because people are right. There is a wealth of information on here to be discovered without starting a new thread.

But I also feel frustration at not being able to participate much. I'm pregnant with my first kid, so I don't have any advice to offer. And I can google most information I need without starting a new thread.

So how do I participate and get to know people?

That said, I do understand some of the frustration that 'oldbies' feel about certain things.

The number of people who don't know the difference between sex and gender makes me shake my head sometimes.

But I scroll right past it and leave it alone, because someone else is sure to point it out to them and it's not that earth-shatteringly irritating to me.

I just kind of accept that my membership to these boards is going to be more of a quiet one on my part than usual.

JerseyML · January 2015

Be a talker. Find the threads that you can answer. Start with the ones of people with crazy families. Comfort the people who are going through some crazy shit. Maybe you can offer advice to those who aren't as far along as you.

And there are, well there used to be threads that were off topic. We don't always have to talk about things baby related. I think some of these women forget its ok to think about and have things you enjoy outside of baby. You had interests before getting knocked up..right. RIGHT?!?!

forevergraceful · January 2015

Things not okay to post:

1) something that has been covered ad nauseum
2) something you should be calling your doctor about
3) something that we do a daily thread about (symptoms, randoms)
4) if we know what the sex of your baby is
5) a picture of your mucous plug

Things okay to post:
1) something that hasn't been covered that you want to discuss with others
2) a GTKY
3) starting the randoms, symptoms, FFFC, UO, or HDBD threads
4) Ts and Ps requests ( I hope you never have to
5) a pic of your new born baby and birth story to match!

Ebunnee87 · January 2015

I say post whatever, I used the search and if it was up before it was months ago and the stuff doesn't apply now that we're all much further along with our pregnancy. I say go for it who cares it's not that deep and its a waste of time to remind people of where they can find it. If I wanted to do that I would have. If don't know I just don't say anything. As a FTM too I love to learn as much as possible and Google will usually lead you to believed whatever it is, is worse than you thought.

nmfranklin00 · January 2015

Thanks everyone-- super helpful! I do use the search quite often and it does help, but I want to participate more as well!

Claire&Cub · January 2015

I too am a FTM but I understand that INTERNET STRANGERS ARE NOT DOCTORS! Asking questions that are medically related are likely going to yield a response of search the boards or google/ask your doctor because the majority of the people responding are not in the medical field or are your attending OB.However, if you need support, phrase your post accordingly.

Ebunnee87 said:
I say post whatever, I used the search and if it was up before it was months ago and the stuff doesn't apply now that we're all much further along with our pregnancy.

Just because we are further along in our pregnancies does not mean older posts do not apply, that's why i use the search function first. If the old thread doesn't answer your question you can always ask again in said old thread and bump it.

forevergraceful said:
Things not okay to post:

1) something that has been covered ad nauseum
2) something you should be calling your doctor about
3) something that we do a daily thread about (symptoms, randoms)
4) if we know what the sex of your baby is
5) a picture of your mucous plug

Things okay to post:
1) something that hasn't been covered that you want to discuss with others
2) a GTKY
3) starting the randoms, symptoms, FFFC, UO, or HDBD threads
4) Ts and Ps requests ( I hope you never have to
5) a pic of your new born baby and birth story to match!

@forevergraceful‌ THIS! Well itemized list of do's n' dont's!

inLOVEalready715 · January 2015

I think this was a great question to ask and you got so many sincere and helpful answers, this is great post to read for all the new users or people lurking and afraid to post. I have no idea how we get things stickied but this might be something to keep bumped for awhile. I think a lot of it is in the wording, be specific about what you're looking for from everyone else. I've seen a lot of posts that start with "im sorry I'm not sure if this is where this goes but I'm hoping to learn"... And I've never seen those posters get picked on. Overall, everyone just likes an orderly board and people who aren't totally selfish. There is so much support to be found here even if you don't post daily. That being said if there isn't a clear picture of a penis or a vagina on your ultrasound we can't help you, but feel free to pee on as much baking soda as you like until your OB confirms the sex of your baby with science :-)

SJ7108 · January 2015

Everyone has pretty much covered it. But i do want to reiterate getting information from older posts. And then if you want to know if any one is going through it currently just post your question in that post instead of starting a new one.

qtjo5 · January 2015

Agree with PP, use the search bar, search other boards (i.e. first trimester, name board) and if you aren't seeing what you're looking for, ask away. :-)

kacdanz · January 2015

I say post whatever you want! I also say if you know better, do better...meaning if you know there are other gender posts then just search and find, if you don't no harm in asking. Hopefully someone will direct you to the correct place. A lot of people here assume that visitors know common forum etiquette but if they don't normally participate in these things then they don't know. I personally think it's insanity to get pissed if a newcomer asks a "bad" question. 1st, who really gives that much of a shit...2nd they obviously don't know. When I started here I'd never fully participated in any online forum and honestly thought the seriousness of it was kinda lame. Now I realize that I've just never been apart of anything like this so it's more important to others than me. I'm learning to respect the seriousness although I may not completely agree.

Ckorines · January 2015

I say post whatever you feel like! There are a couple of bump police officers who might scold you, but who cares! There are genuinely interested and caring people here who will take the time to try and answer you (no matter how many times the answers been asked!) instead of the people who take the time to write something nasty and condescending! Post away, just ignore the negativity!

Chasity08 · January 2015

kacdanz said:

I say post whatever you want! I also say if you know better, do better...meaning if you know there are other gender posts then just search and find, if you don't no harm in asking. Hopefully someone will direct you to the correct place. A lot of people here assume that visitors know common forum etiquette but if they don't normally participate in these things then they don't know. I personally think it's insanity to get pissed if a newcomer asks a "bad" question. 1st, who really gives that much of a shit...2nd they obviously don't know. When I started here I'd never fully participated in any online forum and honestly thought the seriousness of it was kinda lame. Now I realize that I've just never been apart of anything like this so it's more important to others than me. I'm learning to respect the seriousness although I may not completely agree.

That's why there is a sticky at the top that says READ THIS FIRST. So that would mean that all you have to be able to do is read and you'll be able to get your answers as to how the board works and by doing this we can keep it from becoming babycenter where nobody gets any helpful answers because it's bumped to the 2nd page within 2 minutes since there are so many pointless posts being submitted every 5 seconds.

@forevergraceful has the perfect list.

BabysMomma4 · January 2015

I actually laughed out loud after I read your post! Not because I'm laughing at you but because this has been an ongoing debate that I've been a part of trying to explain how the comments come across to new people who are here wanting to join in, but are afraid of being made fun of.

As PP have said, there are guidelines to follow, but they are not hard rules. If you make a "mistake", not everyone is going to jump you. I'm sure if you've been lurking, you've seen that too. Most of the time, I think they're just more sensitive to the silly questions clogging the board. It does make it messy and less effective. But also, usually someone kindly points out to people to search first. Which is completely normal and understandable.

The thing I don't agree with is the making fun of/chastising people for their questions if it's genuine. No matter how you look at it, an orange is an orange and the making fun/chastising is online bullying that is similar to what I've seen junior high girls do on Facebook to one girl in my nieces class. I just think some people don't realize how it comes across.

Glad you're here and hope to see more of your contributions!

valigrl21 · January 2015

@forevergrace‌ did a great job covering the dos and donts. I would just add, don't just post questions. Participate in the community by responding to other people's posts as well. It's a give and take around here.

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