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Stay at Home Moms
ladyteach0505
member
(Long) FTM debating leave of absence, insurance and pay
ladyteach0505
member
I am looking for advice.
I am a FTM who is a teacher making a decent salary with excellent benefits. We live an hour from any family and the family we have is not able to be involved in childcare if we lived closer anyway.
My income matches DH's but his insurance is terribly more expensive than mine, so we've always been on mine. (Think 250 extra a month premium and 10,000 more a year for out of pocket cap.). Our salaries combined are healthy after taxes, but individually are very tight for Midwest living.
I never considered wanting to take a year leave of absence until we went through infertility and IVF but now it's a constant desire. I crunch the numbers every day to try to see if there's something I'm missing that can be cut out. The reality is this: we can pay next year's bills on EXACTLY what DH makes. Anything more will require dipping into the emergency fund.
So we've been trying to bank my paychecks and see what the day to day looks like on DH's salary. Predictably, life happened and this month we had a 900 plumbing expense- which was actually less than it would have been because DH did all the work himself. That of course came from the emergency fund.
Financially it doesn't make sense for me to quit becAuse my salary more than covers the cost of daycare. Some days I can reconcile myself to the idea of this. Other days, like when I've had spotting scares, it's all I can do to beg God to let money be the biggest of my worries and I'm right back in SAHM mode.
If I take a LOA I am supposed to be guaranteed A job but not necessarily MY job. So that's another thing I've considered. But always on the flip side of that is what is staying at home worth to me to be with her next year?
If I had a local care option I could probably sub a day or two a week at a neighboring district but it would have to be free or it would negate the point of subbing at all.
I've also debated pulling money from savings to pay off the last of our student loans and free up monthly bill money but then I worry about having a depleted account in case of emergency like medical expenses.
You can probably tell from reAding this that, financially, the obvious answer is working. But my heart is just torn about finding a way to make this work.
I know it's a long post but I wanted to give enough info to hopefully paint a clear picture. Any ideas or insight?
I am a FTM who is a teacher making a decent salary with excellent benefits. We live an hour from any family and the family we have is not able to be involved in childcare if we lived closer anyway.
My income matches DH's but his insurance is terribly more expensive than mine, so we've always been on mine. (Think 250 extra a month premium and 10,000 more a year for out of pocket cap.). Our salaries combined are healthy after taxes, but individually are very tight for Midwest living.
I never considered wanting to take a year leave of absence until we went through infertility and IVF but now it's a constant desire. I crunch the numbers every day to try to see if there's something I'm missing that can be cut out. The reality is this: we can pay next year's bills on EXACTLY what DH makes. Anything more will require dipping into the emergency fund.
So we've been trying to bank my paychecks and see what the day to day looks like on DH's salary. Predictably, life happened and this month we had a 900 plumbing expense- which was actually less than it would have been because DH did all the work himself. That of course came from the emergency fund.
Financially it doesn't make sense for me to quit becAuse my salary more than covers the cost of daycare. Some days I can reconcile myself to the idea of this. Other days, like when I've had spotting scares, it's all I can do to beg God to let money be the biggest of my worries and I'm right back in SAHM mode.
If I take a LOA I am supposed to be guaranteed A job but not necessarily MY job. So that's another thing I've considered. But always on the flip side of that is what is staying at home worth to me to be with her next year?
If I had a local care option I could probably sub a day or two a week at a neighboring district but it would have to be free or it would negate the point of subbing at all.
I've also debated pulling money from savings to pay off the last of our student loans and free up monthly bill money but then I worry about having a depleted account in case of emergency like medical expenses.
You can probably tell from reAding this that, financially, the obvious answer is working. But my heart is just torn about finding a way to make this work.
I know it's a long post but I wanted to give enough info to hopefully paint a clear picture. Any ideas or insight?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: (Long) FTM debating leave of absence, insurance and pay
I've also thought about online teaching But it seems to be becoming a glutted market.
When I had DD1, I really wanted to be at home, but with DH's law school loans and a mortgage that wasn't cheap, we just couldn't make it work. So, I continued to work FT. We eventually had DD2 and decided that we could make it work if we sold our house and got a house that came with a lower mortgage. It wasn't until DD2 was 9 months old that we sold our house and I became a SAHM.
Nothing says that in a year or two you might be able to make it work, but for the short term I agree to maybe pay off some loans and re evaluate after a year or so. It just sounds too risky if DHs salary would be enough to just cover basic bills IMO
Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
I suppose I know I'll probably never be able to fully quit, so I was thinking about doing a LOA since it'll probably be the only time I can walk away from work and go back to a job. Teaching is so hard to leave and come back to in terms of being hired.
I keep debating if paying off the loans will free up enough to make it feel less tight. That would be the last of our debt, which would be awesome.
Hmm
IMO - financially banking your income, paying off any/all debts, and using it only for emergencies and some day to day living expenses/incidentals is just simply good for your long-term financial management so that you can do things like go to Disney or family vacations of your choosing when you have breaks, that you can afford the Prom Dress/tux, but also retirement(!!!) that you can afford the life you want for the long-term instead of narrowly scraping by. Emergencies happen - especially when kids are added to the dynamic. Daycare is not the end of the world even though it's expensive, but so is raising kids in general. I've got many friends who are teachers with kids and it's a workable partnership. Some districts even provide a stipend to teachers to use the school's pre-school as a benefit. Kids are expensive! Granted, not a single person would say they aren't worth it, but it all adds up (shoes, wardrobes that can change multiple times some years because they're constantly growing, diapers, food, formula, coloring books, etc. - it nickels and dimes into a LOT!)
IMO, you've got a wonderful career, you're in a good spot, stick with maternity leave which tends to be generous in schools, and save the LOA, but stay there teaching in the awesome position you've got because like you said, A job doesn't mean THE job you have now!
This was our experience on the other side, DD had a teacher who took an entire year off for maternity leave (private school so a little more flexible about holding the job). The teacher was still "checked out" to the point that she just wasn't in the classroom, she was pining to be home instead of back teaching. We pretty much wrote off that school year for DD because she just couldn't connect (things that should have been nipped in the bud in school back then, but weren't which led to longer term problems)...
Ultimately, only you know your situation and all the in's and outs. Financially speaking you've got a career that's not as easy to walk away from then years from now come back to as though nothing has changed. While they're only little for a while, it's about quality time, not quantity.
1. You are not in a good financial spot right now. My DH makes significantly more more than I do, but even with that, we hit a couple of times during my two years when things were extra tight, and it was not fun. In fact, it was scary at times. I can't imagine going into it knowing that anything out of the ordinary would have you dipping into emergency funds. It just doesn't sound like it's the right time.
2. I'm on mobile, so correct me if I'm wrong, but you are pregnant with your first child, right? I know the thought of finding child care is daunting and scary, and can make many women say they'd just rather stay home. But, at this point, you really don't know if you want to stay home. A lot of women think they want to, but then when they do, it is nothing like what they thought. Since you are a teacher, you are lucky to be able to try it for a few months in the summer. I personally wouldn't take a LOA right now. Have the baby, finish out the school year if you have to (don't know when you are due), enjoy the summer, and work next year knowing that if finances are right and you still really want to stay home, you can take a LOA the following year.
FWIW, I thought I'd love staying home. And I did for awhile. But by the end of my first year home, I really missed teaching. I had some regrets about requesting the second year. I am back at work now, and I know that being a working mom is right for me at this time. You may still find that you want to stay home, but it's possible you will find that you prefer working, too. Both choices are perfectly acceptable.
Definitely check into that before you go any further in the process. I thought that was standard but maybe other districts pay their share of your insurance while you are on long term leave but I wouldn't think so.
@LauraChicago did you do anything else to prepare for it?
BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
I'm currently in this same boat so I feel your pain. I am not a teacher, I work in human services and the insurance is not an issue for us as we use DH's but we are realizing that the cost of daycare for our toddler and this new guy is almost not worth having me work.
It's definitely become a numbers game & we have made many a pro's & con's list to try and make this decision. For us, we know that it will not be financially possible for me not to work at all but I have a few different options that will allow for very limited hours and fill the gap of what we would lose after paying a daycare bill.
I wish I could give more help here, it sounds like you REALLY would love to stay home so deep down inside I'm hoping you can find a way to make that happen but no decision can ever be an easy one, of course! Good luck to you!