The Business of Being Born

britlove101 · January 2015

I'm almost finished watching this... I've already decided on a birthing center birth... This video has lots of cool information, and was pretty interesting... I know it's pretty biased to one side, so if you're having a hospital birth and that's your final decision, then I don't recommend you watching this... But if you're on the fence and having a low risk pregnancy, here's some good stuff to help you decide!!! Enjoy!
The Business of Being Born:

https://youtu.be/KvljyvU_ZGE

pixiepink24 · January 2015

Great documentary and there is a series as well on Netflix.

qtjo5 · January 2015

Looks interesting, thanks for the share!

CANTW82BMOM · January 2015

I watched this with DH last week. It completely changed his views on childbirth.

IveGotAFetus · January 2015

I don't have much to say about the movie as I have not watched it (I would probably get too irritated watching it as I have heard it says doctors make decisions based on profit which, as a doctor whose friends are also doctors, I know is nooooootttt true. We make decisions to create good outcomes and not get sued).

I just like to introduce people to the....other side. I've posted before, but this is a great place to put it. The skeptical OB is a blog by a former OB that shows the other side to home birth (dangers, risks, statistics, and most importantly information about the broad range of people who can call themselves midwives...it is scary what can be considered a midwife in the US). She also discussed other fallacies of trendy pregnancy and infant care ideas.

Anyway, it's always good to get both sides of the story (while obviously acknowledging that the truth lies somewhere in between). If you are considering home birth (or even a birthing center) you should at least peruse the site a bit (as well as hurtbyhomebirth.com if you can handle reading birth stories with bad outcomes).

I know plenty of people who choose homebirth and it goes just fine, but it's a good idea to know the risks (as told by someone who does not profit from homebirth).

daniellelea1985 · January 2015

It is very biased, please do more research, ladies!

Natural birth can be very beautiful and wonderful BUT please do your homework first. Make sure your midwife has all the certifications (there are different levels/types of midwives that require different amounts of training and education) and that she/he is up to date. Also, how important is it what distance you'll be from a hospital with a top rated NICU?

I tried for a natural birth last pregnancy (thinking my twin sis did it 3 times and she's a wimp, I got this!) At a birthing center. Had training classes to teach coping techniques and positions and everything. Yea fuck that, it was a very bad experience ending in hospital transfer. I was very thankful for being at a hospital during delivery. Things can go wrong.

Also please remember that every birth is different for every woman(even your twin sister! Lol) so where labor might be Kittens and sunshine for one may be a really rough time for another.

I love things to be organic and natural as much as possible but after my experience I'm pro hospital this time around. My OB is outstanding and we're going to try for natural again, just in a hospital this time

natalie115 · January 2015

Agree with @daniellelea1985‌ and @IveGotAFetus‌ ....please don't base your whole decision off of that film. Do plenty of research and find a certified midwife and make sure there is a plan to quickly get you to a hospital should the need arise.

diesel29 · January 2015

Haven't seen it yet, but I have heard of it. Do you suggest watching it even if I am having a hospital birth with a midwife? It's not really by choice (well the midwife is), it's because we're two hours from the closest hospital, so it's not allowed to be a home birth in case something happens. But I am with a midwife and considering a doula.

What does the video cover really? thanks!

charliepepper · January 2015

Agree with @IveGotAFetus‌ and @daniellelea1985‌. The homebirths on that film and elsewhere are beautiful, and it would be great if women could have a similar experience in a hospital. However, 1) painting doctors as money-grubbing idiots is inaccurate and biased and 2) when something goes wrong during a birth, it is the difference of seconds, not minutes, between death/disability/disaster and a favorable outcome. Even if you have a low risk pregnancy, there is no way of knowing for sure that you or your baby won't need medical assistance during or after birth.

britlove101 · January 2015

miranda holly said:

Haven't seen it yet, but I have heard of it. Do you suggest watching it even if I am having a hospital birth with a midwife? It's not really by choice (well the midwife is), it's because we're two hours from the closest hospital, so it's not allowed to be a home birth in case something happens. But I am with a midwife and considering a doula.
What does the video cover really? thanks!

Hey,
Midwives are supposed to be great advocates for your birthing plan when you are in a hospital and the doctor is too quick to turn to interventions! It doesn't really cover this kind situation, but after doing all of my research prior to making a decision about hospital or home birth, I saw a lot about how beneficial it is for you to have a midwife and doula during labor at a hospital! Good luck! Many blessings!

britlove101 · January 2015

charliepepper said:

Agree with @IveGotAFetus‌ and @daniellelea1985‌. The homebirths on that film and elsewhere are beautiful, and it would be great if women could have a similar experience in a hospital. However, 1) painting doctors as money-grubbing idiots is inaccurate and biased and 2) when something goes wrong during a birth, it is the difference of seconds, not minutes, between death/disability/disaster and a favorable outcome. Even if you have a low risk pregnancy, there is no way of knowing for sure that you or your baby won't need medical assistance during or after birth.

I don't think they painted them as money grubbing idiots.. In fact there were a couple of OB doctors interviewed who were very proactive in getting women the best birth that fits their needs. They may have painted a picture about insurance companies in there being that way... but for doctors they just showed them doing what they're trained to do. It had nothing to do with money, just the fact that OB doctors are trained surgeons, leading to more medically assisted outcomes.

kellinpetersen · January 2015

Im sure this is a touching video, but as a Nurse and a mother who almost lost her son while in the hospital due to reasons which could not be foreseen before delivery day. As a mother you want the best for your children and if your a responsible and educated mother you are able to take a step back and say to yourself, IF anything happens to my newborn where would I rather be, in the hospital where help is only seconds away or at home where help is at least 30 min away. Even thought the ambulance may arrive in 15 min they may not have all the necessities needed for a newborn emergency. IF anything happened to your newborn while having a home birth as a mother you would never be able to forgive yourself, let alone forget that it could have been prevented if the baby was born in the hospital. Just some food for thought for everyone.

britlove101 · January 2015

I don't know if I was clear enough... I'm sure this video doesn't have nearly enough information to make the decision for you... Just some interesting facts that women should know. I did plenty of research about the hospitals in my area, and practices of other countries (Since the US has a pretty bad rep for infant mortality even though only about 1% of women have home births), and researched my options for the area I live in. Unfortunately I live in Miami where the Cesarean Section rate is 1 in every 2 births, and there are no hospitals with a natural birthing type of room... Also, I couldn't find a single doctor who would agree to do a few things my way during labor (Waiting to cut placenta, no doctor touching baby until after an hour, no eye drops/vitamin K, etc....) so I found a great midwifery/ birthing facility with a great rep and that's what I'll be doing so long as my pregnancy progresses normally.... The facts remain, the US is one of the only industrialized nations with OB attended births for low risk patients. Yet, we sit at number 2 for infant mortality rate... My twin had two babies in the hospital, one medicated, one not, and maybe if I was back home in WI I'd be more open to a hospital birth since the statistics are better there... But I like the idea of a natural birth that isn't scary...

Some women prefer it at a hospital, especially for peace of mind. It really doesn't change the fact that at the end we will be mothers... And that will be the beauty of it all! Congrats to you all! And I wish you safe and happy labors!

kacdanz · January 2015

Is it currently on Netflix? I've been looking for birth related documentaries and haven't found any except for Breastmilk, which is pretty good by the way.

britlove101 · January 2015

kacdanz said:

Is it currently on Netflix? I've been looking for birth related documentaries and haven't found any except for Breastmilk, which is pretty good by the way.

I'm not sure, I just watched this on Youtube...

IveGotAFetus · January 2015

One last thing to add. I agree that if you deliver with an OB your chances of section are higher than if you do not. I just wish it was more clear why that is. The reason is that as a doctor, you will get sued if something goes wrong. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

One doctor may say "too many decels, time for section" and the baby lives and is healthy, wealthy and wise, but the mother feels she was robbed of the romantic birthing experience and will call it an "unecessary csection by a money grubbing doctor"

Another doctor may say "you are having some decels, but they are not terribly concerning in appearance, let's just wait and see" and the baby ends up dying and the mother sues and the lawyers say "how DARE you not act on those decels and get that woman to surgery! You murderer! Give us $1,000,000!"

In conclusion, that is the motivation of doctors. Until there is malpractice reform, there will be "unecessary csections". There is no winning. That. Is the motivation of doctors and why we are burned out, jaded, over-testing/interventional monsters.

britlove101 · January 2015

IveGotAFetus said:

One last thing to add. I agree that if you deliver with an OB your chances of section are higher than if you do not. I just wish it was more clear why that is. The reason is that as a doctor, you will get sued if something goes wrong. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. One doctor may say "too many decels, time for section" and the baby lives and is healthy, wealthy and wise, but the mother feels she was robbed of the romantic birthing experience and will call it an "unecessary csection by a money grubbing doctor" Another doctor may say "you are having some decels, but they are not terribly concerning in appearance, let's just wait and see" and the baby ends up dying and the mother sues and the lawyers say "how DARE you not act on those decels and get that woman to surgery! You murderer! Give us $1,000,000!" In conclusion, that is the motivation of doctors. Until there is malpractice reform, there will be "unecessary csections". There is no winning. That. Is the motivation of doctors and why we are burned out, jaded, over-testing/interventional monsters.

Is it also because medical interventions sometimes lead to a baby in distress? Interventions that maybe weren't all that necessary?

BridgetB21 · January 2015

After watching the movie and the 4 part follow up series on Netflix, I found it interesting and informative to a point but left the experience feeling like I was a failure for choosing a second c-section for my next child instead of a VBAC. Always explore options and be informed.

IveGotAFetus · January 2015

britlove101 said:

IveGotAFetus said:

One last thing to add. I agree that if you deliver with an OB your chances of section are higher than if you do not. I just wish it was more clear why that is. The reason is that as a doctor, you will get sued if something goes wrong. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

One doctor may say "too many decels, time for section" and the baby lives and is healthy, wealthy and wise, but the mother feels she was robbed of the romantic birthing experience and will call it an "unecessary csection by a money grubbing doctor"

Another doctor may say "you are having some decels, but they are not terribly concerning in appearance, let's just wait and see" and the baby ends up dying and the mother sues and the lawyers say "how DARE you not act on those decels and get that woman to surgery! You murderer! Give us $1,000,000!"

In conclusion, that is the motivation of doctors. Until there is malpractice reform, there will be "unecessary csections". There is no winning. That. Is the motivation of doctors and why we are burned out, jaded, over-testing/interventional monsters.

Is it also because medical interventions sometimes lead to a baby in distress? Interventions that maybe weren't all that necessary?

That's kind of the point. How do you know if it was unnecessary. Interventions are always done for SOME indication.

If the outcome of the intervention is good, people will say either 1: I'm so glad they intervened and saved my baby or 2: They totally did not need to do that intervention! How could they have lied and tricked me into getting that done?

If the outcome of the intervention is bad they will say either 1: I'm glad they tried, but sometimes even all the interventions in the world won't help or 2: how could they have done that intervention. Everything would have been fine and that intervention killed my baby.

There truly is no winning unless everything just goes smoothly without possible need for intervention. It is frustrating.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense to others (it makes sense in my head though!)

britlove101 · January 2015

IveGotAFetus said:

IveGotAFetus said:

One last thing to add. I agree that if you deliver with an OB your chances of section are higher than if you do not. I just wish it was more clear why that is. The reason is that as a doctor, you will get sued if something goes wrong. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. One doctor may say "too many decels, time for section" and the baby lives and is healthy, wealthy and wise, but the mother feels she was robbed of the romantic birthing experience and will call it an "unecessary csection by a money grubbing doctor" Another doctor may say "you are having some decels, but they are not terribly concerning in appearance, let's just wait and see" and the baby ends up dying and the mother sues and the lawyers say "how DARE you not act on those decels and get that woman to surgery! You murderer! Give us $1,000,000!" In conclusion, that is the motivation of doctors. Until there is malpractice reform, there will be "unecessary csections". There is no winning. That. Is the motivation of doctors and why we are burned out, jaded, over-testing/interventional monsters.

Is it also because medical interventions sometimes lead to a baby in distress? Interventions that maybe weren't all that necessary?
That's kind of the point. How do you know if it was unnecessary. Interventions are always done for SOME indication. If the outcome of the intervention is good, people will say either 1: I'm so glad they intervened and saved my baby or 2: They totally did not need to do that intervention! How could they have lied and tricked me into getting that done? If the outcome of the intervention is bad they will say either 1: I'm glad they tried, but sometimes even all the interventions in the world won't help or 2: how could they have done that intervention. Everything would have been fine and that intervention killed my baby. There truly is no winning unless everything just goes smoothly without possible need for intervention. It is frustrating. I'm not sure if I'm making sense to others (it makes sense in my head though!)

Yea, that makes sense...
Just weird how medicated everything is now... I guess it can be a double edged sword... Good luck in your practice!

paradebegone · January 2015

I watched this prior to the birth of DD. You have to take what you want from it knowing that it is incredibly biased. I have a high risk pregnancy this time around but even if I didn't, I'd never choose not to deliver in a hospital.

BUT, I'd make a plan and find the people who were best able to make that plan work out... Knowing that it probably won't go that way because anything could happen.

This documentary helped me in one way- it made me feel like I could do it! I found it incredibly empowering. For that alone, I would recommend it.

BabysMomma4 · January 2015

Thanks for sharing!

hay1122 · January 2015

Thanks for sharing. I work in a small birthing center that does about 300 births a year. We have 3.5 midwives that do 90% of the births and 2.5 OBs. We are extremely fortunate to have a big hospital in the same town for transfers of both moms and babies. They know that if we call for a transfer, it's pretty serious and we've done everything possible to stabilize the situation first. It is extremely comforting to have a back up, and we've also consulted with their team of Doc's and Pedi's on certain situations.

Many of my coworkers, midwives and nurses, come from a home birth background. I think the insurance and politics make it extremely difficult to continue in that practice as birth has been driven out of the home. Personally, I don't want a home birth, but I can understand why people do. Studies show that increased monitoring, and interventions, does not increase outcomes for moms or babies.

Always do your research and prepare for childbirth the way nature intended. You would train for months for a marathon, right? This is the most physically demanding feat ever.

SoonToBeGenao · January 2015

As a home birth mom I am saddened and offended by many of these comments. Just as so many of you think it's wrong to group or stereotype csection or hospital birth moms it's wrong to do that to homebirth.

Home birth does not mean unassisted or risky birth. I know that it can mean that but it doesn't always. My certified midwife and her assistants come with everything necessary for emergent situations short of blood transfusion.

There is a practiced and well known plan in the case of an emergency and they are able to recognize the signs long before they become life threatening.

They are not afraid to risk you out and transfer your care where it's necessary.

But I love that they trust the process, respect my space, and are capable and calm in handling situations quickly and efficiently

thiscoffeechick · January 2015

This movie helped solidify my plan to do a natural birth but at a hospital. I don't know that it's THAT one-sided as one of the women had to be rushed to the hospital with complications. (Her water broke in the cab and her baby almost dies.) That one story was enough to make me want to do a hospital birth but it made very good points about how pro-"my schedule" doctors can be. I know 3 women who've given birth in the last 2 years and each one was induced and/or a c-section scheduled around doc's schedule when small complications happened.

shay092185 · January 2015

I have been considering a home birth because I want an intimate environment and I hate the hospitals in my area. I did the epidural for my first child and it did not work for me. I need A LOT of pain meds to be at the "normal" level and that amount is unsafe for the baby. Knowing this i need to find alternatives to help me cope with the changes and midwives and doulas seem to be the answer.

charliepepper · January 2015

A PP mentioned the high infant rate in the US as compared to other countries. This is true, but I wanted to make sure that everyone understands that this is skewed due to the fact that the US is one of the only countries that resuscitates fetuses born at 24 wks, and sometimes earlier, based purely on parental preference. This option isn't even available in most other industrialized nations, and obviously infant mortality is very high at such low gestational ages. Please don't be swayed into thinking that our higher infant mortality is due to standard OB practices in this country.

kellmoria · January 2015

Malpractice insurance for an OB is sky-high. They really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Interventions can save, however, they can lead to decisions that may cause other consequences. I think we as mothers get very caught up in this idea do having a "perfect" birth-- whatever that may be. However, we can end up feeling disappointed in ourselves when our bodies, or our caregivers don't do their end of the bargain. With my first, I had every intention of having a natural, Bradley birth. At my 38 wk appointment, I was admitted immediately for high blood pressure, protein in my urine, and bloodwork results that warranted an immediate induction. My kid needed to be born ASAP. They used pitocin to augment labor, I got an epidural for pain management and my son was born without needing an emergency c-section. I felt like a failure, and it took a long time to get over that feeling. In short, be a good consumer, know what your caregiver is suggesting and do your research.

Sorry for the novel. Edited for clarity

o_so_in_love · January 2015

I have not watched it yet but plan on it. I am very interested in homebirth, but not sure how we plan on bringing this child into this world yet. I did however go to the website that was recommended, hurtbyhomebirth.com, to read the stories. While very sad, I don't think they would deter me from having a homebirth. Rather, it would prepare me to be my own advocate and know what danger signs to look for. Preparation cannot prevent all bad things from happening, I know this. But, many of the outcomes that ended tragically could have been prevented.

JHaworth84 · January 2015

I am a doctor in the UK and homebirth is also being encouraged here as a safe alternative to labour in a hospital. We have the NHS so there is definitely no financial incentive to doctors and possibly a financial motivation to encourage home birth as it is cheaper for the NHS.

My last pregnancy and labour was uneventful and could easily have been managed at home, however I just can't help but feel it would be safer to deliver in hospital. I have a friend who is also a doctor who had a lovely homebirth but that cannot influence my decision as every person and pregnancy is different.

The evidence is that for low risk pregnancies homebirth appears to be as safe as birth in a hospital. However only you can decide what the risks and benefits are for you. Good luck regardless! X

csquid361 · January 2015

My cousin is a pharmacist and he recommended that I watch this. I convinced DH to watch it with me and I'm so glad we saw this because it really gives you a different perspective. Neither of us would be comfortable doing a home birth but we're lucky enough that our hospital has a great birthing center. I did come away from the video thinking that it was definitely biased in one direction but I also felt more educated on the whole process of birthing in a hospital vs. home or birth center.

mariastratt · January 2015

Thank you for suggesting this. I had my first son 7 months ago at home with a very qualified midwife. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced, but the euphoria I had afterwards was something I cannot explain. I was so happy and could have stayed up all night just staring at my beautiful child. We switched from our doctor to a midwife at 31 weeks. Each doctor visit we had lasted 5-8 minutes, the nurses would take my urine sample, blood pressure and weight without ever revealing any of the stats (incredibly frustrating) and then the doctor would show up and say "how ya feel?" and then boom we were out. We realized how naive we were in the process. We realized we'd done more research with buying a TV, or movies we'd watch in theaters (nonsense like that) than we had done in researching the development and delivery for our very own child. It was insane. Long story short, we made the switch and for OUR family, it was the best one. Now I am 13 weeks along with our second and we've made the decision to have a home birth again. Now, if some problem should arise, our midwife and myself included will be the first to make the switch to a hospital delivery if need be. Women who choose home births know the risks, and believe it or not, DO care about their babies and aren't too proud to go to the hospital if need be

Every appt with our midwife has been 45 minutes to an hour +. We talk, watched things, learned methods, she talks to daddy to see how he feels and what he thinks every month or week (because that's important too). It is so special and connected I can't describe it. It just feels like the way this huge momentous occasion should be. Birth is a big deal. Your baby is a big deal. That being said, however you choose to have your baby is the perfect way. You were open to life and no one is supposed to be that babies mother or father but you. Mom and dad know best. I'm sorry for the negative comments our fellow peers (even doctors) have written in response to your simple suggestion to wath the doc. Every woman & man needs to do their own research and feel their own hearts and instincts and stop thinking they know better than everyone else, or that home birth is some archaic process where you go into a cave to give birth with rusty equipment and mindless women. You know best, mama. Take very good care.

kate5all · January 2015

I watched this doc a few years ago and I wish it was still on Netflix because I'd love to view it again. While both sides of the issue aren't necessarily given equal air time, I have to say that this doc is a great introduction to the topic and does provide helpful information on the options out there.

In fact, because the topic of birthing choices has been given more attention in the media, the popularity of natural births in my area has risen, and I was able to find a birthing center that has both midwives and OBs. All the proper medical support is there, but the intervention rate is incredibly low and they offer natural pain management methods. Hopefully this trend continues!

mrswarren1221 · January 2015

My husband and I watched this before the birth of our last child. I didn't like it at all. Thought it was very biased even from the perspective of a natural birthing parent.

charliepepper · January 2015

One final thing: we (I'm including myself in this generalization) as moms-to-be focus on wanting the perfect birth experience. Too many ppl think the perfect birth is one that is intervention-free. What we need to keep in perspective is the true goal should be a safe & healthy mom, as well as baby. It shouldn't matter what you do in the interim to get there. Although I'm going to try for an unmediated hospital birth, if I need an epidural and c-section to have a healthy baby, then bring it on!

JuneBug0611 · January 2015

britlove101 said:

I'm almost finished watching this... I've already decided on a birthing center birth... This video has lots of cool information, and was pretty interesting... I know it's pretty biased to one side, so if you're having a hospital birth and that's your final decision, then I don't recommend you watching this... But if you're on the fence and having a low risk pregnancy, here's some good stuff to help you decide!!! Enjoy! The Business of Being Born: https://youtu.be/KvljyvU_ZGE

Thanks for posting the video. I hadn't seen it before, although I'd heard of it.

I disagree that if you are set on having a hospital birth you shouldn't watch it. I am set on having a hospital birth, but am also planning on // hoping for a midwife-assisted natural/unmedicated childbirth at the hospital. That's what I had with DD and it was perfect. What these women were talking about -- the natural high after birth, the instant bonding, the feeling of "I can do anything after doing this" -- totally resonated with me.

Although the video is obviously out there to change people's minds about birth, a lot of what they are talking about -- the cascade of interventions, the disproportionally high c-section rate in the USA, etc. -- is well-documented by medical research. I'd encourage interested people to read the actual research and attend a Bradley class to learn more.

CANTW82BMOM · January 2015

@kate5all you can watch it in it's entirety on YouTube. That's what I did.

JuneBug0611 · January 2015

The link the OP posted is also the complete youtube video.

Mamamads · January 2015

charliepepper said:
One final thing: we (I'm including myself in this generalization) as moms-to-be focus on wanting the perfect birth experience. Too many ppl think the perfect birth is one that is intervention-free. What we need to keep in perspective is the true goal should be a safe & healthy mom, as well as baby. It shouldn't matter what you do in the interim to get there. Although I'm going to try for an unmediated hospital birth, if I need an epidural and c-section to have a healthy baby, then bring it on!

Giving birth is one of the biggest things that happen in a women's life, yes a healthy baby is the outcome but the way in which you do it means a lot to most women. Belittling birth traumas and things that can cause ptsd isn't helping anyone. Yes everyone wants a healthy happy baby but we are all entitled to care about the details that go into giving birth. And for those of you who have had a traumatic or otherwise disappointing childbirth experience, it's completely okay to have those feelings.

Mamamads · January 2015

LukyDuky7 said:

Mamamads said:

charliepepper said:
One final thing: we (I'm including myself in this generalization) as moms-to-be focus on wanting the perfect birth experience. Too many ppl think the perfect birth is one that is intervention-free. What we need to keep in perspective is the true goal should be a safe & healthy mom, as well as baby. It shouldn't matter what you do in the interim to get there. Although I'm going to try for an unmediated hospital birth, if I need an epidural and c-section to have a healthy baby, then bring it on!
Giving birth is one of the biggest things that happen in a women's life, yes a healthy baby is the outcome but the way in which you do it means a lot to most women. Belittling birth traumas and things that can cause ptsd isn't helping anyone. Yes everyone wants a healthy happy baby but we are all entitled to care about the details that go into giving birth. And for those of you who have had a traumatic or otherwise disappointing childbirth experience, it's completely okay to have those feelings.

Not sure what you are trying to say here....your comment honestly does not really make sense. @charliepepper brought up very good points. She is a physician, so knows her stuff. I hope I am just misunderstanding what you are saying in your comment but I did not read anything that "belittled birth trauma" etc such as you say. "Isn't helping anyone"....pretty sure that's the last thing you would say to someone with medical knowledge who is trying to help this community.

What doesn't make sense about my comment? I think to say "it doesn't matter what you do to get there" is kind of minimizing the experience For people who have suffered through awful births. I agree with her point as I'm sure everyone would, that having a healthy baby is important but I also believe a women's birth experience is important as well.
It's hard to understand but someone (such as myself) who has had a terrible and very traumatic birth experience can take it as a slap in the face to hear "but the baby is healthy, isn't that all that matters?" No it isn't all that matters, I am still healing from that birth experience (2.5 years later) I'm not saying she said that but some women especially ftm don't quite grasp the very real hopes for a certain kind of birth some women can have.

charliepepper · January 2015

Mamamads said:

charliepepper said:
One final thing: we (I'm including myself in this generalization) as moms-to-be focus on wanting the perfect birth experience. Too many ppl think the perfect birth is one that is intervention-free. What we need to keep in perspective is the true goal should be a safe & healthy mom, as well as baby. It shouldn't matter what you do in the interim to get there. Although I'm going to try for an unmediated hospital birth, if I need an epidural and c-section to have a healthy baby, then bring it on!
Giving birth is one of the biggest things that happen in a women's life, yes a healthy baby is the outcome but the way in which you do it means a lot to most women. Belittling birth traumas and things that can cause ptsd isn't helping anyone. Yes everyone wants a healthy happy baby but we are all entitled to care about the details that go into giving birth. And for those of you who have had a traumatic or otherwise disappointing childbirth experience, it's completely okay to have those feelings.

I am certainly not downplaying birth trauma, and I don't think that's how I worded my previous comment.

If there was any confusion with regards to that first comment, let me make myself clear: we should applaud ourselves for what we accomplish as women. In addition, reported data does not reflect individual experiences, so we should not allow that data or the experiences of others to make ourselves feel "less than" due to a specific birth experience.

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