Returning To Work

Morena Mama · January 2015

Could you please keep me in your thoughts tomorrow? I'm returning to work and my anxiety is through the roof. How did you ladies who have gone back handle it?

Thank you in advance.

stefuge · January 2015

((Hugs)). I work from home, so my situation is different, and I was able to avoid my co-workers pretty well. Thinking of you!

dadalou · January 2015

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. I don't have any advice for you though. I didn't have a job to go back to.

Bgirma · January 2015

Good luck! Going back to work was hard for me, mostly because I was so anxious about seeing people and interacting with the world again. Once the initial awkwardness wore off (people just didn't know what to say), things were okay but I still had moments that sadness and grief would overwhelm me and I ended to excuse myself. First two weeks were the worst but I still struggled from time to time for months after.

Like a pp suggested, if you can have flexible hours or designate a place you can go to when you're feeling overwhelmed, that could help.

Again, good luck. We'll be thinking about you!!

Vicki1985 · January 2015

Thinking of you!! Good Luck...

ikrystal · January 2015

**ticker**

No advice to give, but sending T&Ps.

mrslucid · January 2015

Thinking of you ((big hugs)). I know how hard returning to work was for me. There are still days I'd just rather stay in bed.

mrswheelo · January 2015

My first day back sucked. I hated seeing ppl feel sad for me. And worse, ppl who thought they were giving me comforting advice, but actually made me want to slap them. Not their fault. They dont understand.
I was open with my manager about where I was emotionally and what I could handle. She gave me a really light work schedule for the first few weeks so I wasn't overwhelmed.
Or you may find that diving back in to "work as usual" may be more helpful to you. It was for my husband. Just be sure to let work know what you need. Otherwise, they will be clueless.
Good luck and many ((hugs)) to get you through your first day!

angelsnight · January 2015

Ticker warning

Big hugs, thinking of you tomorrow. For me the only thing that helped was time to get used to it. I also didn't work a full 40 hours until I had been back about a month or a little more. I am not sure how much it helped me long term, but it sure felt good to leave at noon one day, and call off another day and go back to bed.

And its so trivial and of course won't make the pain go away, but I found anything that could make the day better helped, like picking up my favorite food for lunch or getting breakfast on the way in. Also try to be realistic, there is no shame in not being able to make it through every day. For at least a month and a half back to work I cried on my way to and from work everyday and there were many instances I had to duck into the bathroom and cry. Its ok not to be ok. Hugs mama.

Mel&John2013 · January 2015

***siggy warning

Thinking of you today!

I got through it by:

1) avoiding people for a few days until I got my footing. I also have one coworker who I consider a friend and I used her as a "safe zone". She listened when I needed to talk and let me hide in her cubicle when I needed to avoid people for a few minutes. There is no shame in hiding when you need to.

2) I have a desk job so was also able to hop on this board when I needed to, or onto the "still standing" website. It helped get me through some days.

3) Like @angelsnight said, for the first few weeks I did little things to "treat" myself, like getting my favorite coffee or breakfast.

4) I left early if I had to for the first few weeks.

I hope you can find some comfort in the "normalcy" of work, but understand that sometimes doing "normal" things while your life feels like a mess is hard. You are strong, and you'll get through. Just be kind to yourself and don't expect too much.

CheesyPeas · January 2015

Sorry I didn't see this before you headed back to work. Hopefully today was gentle on you.

For me, going back to work completely sucked but I had some "training" after my miscarriage. The miscarriage was tough in that people didn't know about my loss, so no one gave me space, and it was incredibly overwhelming. After I lost my daughter, everyone knew, so that made it easier in some respects. People knew that I would be hurting, and I felt like it was okay if I broke down at my desk; no one would give it a second thought. And I did break down a lot. I cried on the drive all the way to work, in the stall everytime I went to the bathroom, on the drive all the way home from work, and a few other times in between. I still tear up at work actually, and I'm more than 6 months out now.

Part of what really helped me was having a couple of people I felt really comfortable with. My coworker who sits right across from me actually lost her one week old daughter several years ago, so she sort of protected me in the beginning. Another one of my close friends would check in on me a couple of times a day to see if I wanted her to go and get me anything or if I wanted her to walk me to go the cafeteria or take a break to talk or cry. Having that support there really helped a lot of my anxieties.

I also got online a lot and looked at whatever was on my mind. I was completely incapable of focusing on work for quite a while (and still have my days actually), so I forgave myself for that and searched for whatever my mind needed to know at that moment.

There were a few days where I just needed to a hard, ugly cry, so I took some personal time and just went home or to the cemetery.

Basically just be as gentle on yourself as possible. Don't try to push it if you can help it. It might take time for work to feel more normal.

erinel · January 2015

***sig warning***

Hope your first day back went ok. It was really hard for me going back, but once I was back, it was a good distraction. Hope it's the same for you.

msunshine123 · January 2015

So many hugs - I hope the first day back went ok.

shandorfml2 · January 2015

*siggy

Hope your first day went ok. It's hard. Take it slow, and allow yourself to break down if you need to. I'd close my door and cry, if I needed to I would leave early because it was to overwhelming. I did that a few times and everyone was pretty understanding.

lexusolsen · January 2015

I hope your first few days went alright. I'll continue to think of you as the week goes on.

Morena Mama · January 2015

Thank you so much for all the support and advice, ladies! I'm embarrassed to say that my first day got pushed back as I had a panic attack the night before and couldn't make myself do it. I am a Substitute Special Education Para right now and I am getting my local teaching certificate in a couple of weeks to be a Substitute Special Education Teacher. I work at all the different schools throughout the district of a neighboring town.

After reading all of your thoughts, I decided to try another assignment for tomorrow. I have been to this particular school many times and use to work there full time. I sent an email to the head teacher and let her know what was going on. She said they are looking forward to seeing me. I'm still nervous, but I know this staff will be very accommodating.

OT - I just want to say that I am very grateful for all of the support I have found on this board. I'm not a real social person and this has given me a forum to express my feelings and get much needed love and support back. I hope I can give some of what I have received back to you all. Thank you for making this last month a little easier for me.

Mel&John2013 · January 2015

*****siggy warning

Good for you for knowing you weren't ready yet!

I'm happy to be able to provide whatever support I can. Good luck tomorrow!!

Littleowl913 · January 2015

Good luck today!

stefuge · January 2015

I second what Mel&john said - good for you for knowing you weren't ready and taking care of yourself. Hope the day went as well as possible today.

Morena Mama · January 2015

Thank you, everyone! You all made yesterday a lot easier for me!

@Happyin14, yes, yesterday went really well. The school nurse is a friend of mine and when I walked in with some students, she said, "I feel like you need a hug" and came up and gave me a big bear hug. I definitely needed one and that helped A LOT! We talked for a little bit and then I carried on with the day.

It was hard at first. I cried on the way to work, but I made it through the rest of the day without tears. I told the other two paras what happened and they were very nice to me, but didn't really address what I said. I don't think they knew what to say. It kind of stung a little, but I know they didn't want to hurt to me.

I didn't work today due to appointments. Next week I go back to full-time work at another school that I am comfortable at. My boss is being really great about letting me pick assignments based on what I can handle. I feel very fortunate to be working with such a great school district.

Mel&John2013 · January 2015

****siggy

I'm so glad it went well, and that you work for a great school district that's letting you do what works for you.

Great job on the first day back!

Littleowl913 · January 2015

I'm glad it went well!

Returning To Work

Re: Returning To Work

Choose Another Board

Search Boards