am I doomed?

babyknutson · January 2015

CRAP....It takes about 3 hours to get my little lady to really fall asleep and sleep IN her bassinet (we start at 8 and she is usually sleeping by close to 11...) anyway, the past week or so I have accidently fallen asleep with my little on one my chest in bed after she wakes up for the first time (usually around 1 ish) (PLEASE SAVE THE "SHAME ON YOU'S") I know it's wrong. Anyway, I wake up at around 3 or 4 and she seems to be sleeping soundly on my chest and the second I put her in her bassinet she is wide awake and fussing then I usually give in after an hour or so of trying to get her to sleep in her bassinet and let her sleep on my chest ...
what can I do to help her sleep in her bassinet?
Has this happened to anyone else?

Thanks for the input!

Jatpa003 · January 2015

Bed sharing is just as good if done safely. (It also may mean more sleep for you and baby) take a look at LLL "Sweet Sleep" book and see if it is for you.

jess123456 · January 2015

The Halo sleepsack has been a life saver for us. We also introduced the paci which has helped a ton in terms of him self soothing. He loves the Mum ones. When I put him down and he fusses I tap his paci and then gently rub from between his eyebrows down his nose with one finger which triggers his eyes to close. I stay there for a bit and usually say "sh" or sing a song quietly. A sound machine might help too.

MrsAdventure · January 2015

We used to do the big bed time routine. Starting at 9 with reading, baby massage ect., and our goal was to have her down by 10:30. Except it was more like 11:30 or midnight before she went down because she fought sleep so bad.

During the day, when she goes down for a nap, it's simply change, feed, sleep. So we started doing that at night, and she goes to sleep between 10 and 10:30 every night now. The only difference between naps and night time is that she gets fed in a dark room, with breast milk mixed with her formula (during the day, it's strictly formula) and we use her noise machine. I think, for her anyway, we were just making too big of a deal out of bedtime and it over stimulated her. Quick and simple works for us rather than a big to-do about bed time.

jessa1228 · January 2015

I agree with PPs - we do a minimal bedtime routine right now. Change, swaddle, nurse. That's it. H and I go to bed at 10:00 so that's when we start the routine. Most of the time DS falls asleep while nursing, sometimes we have to rock him for a little bit. If we notice him getting super fussy/sleepy earier than 10, I'll go upstairs with him and do the routine earlier. Sometimes he falls asleep super early (like 8ish), so I just let him sleep until we're ready to go up for the night, then wake him to do the routine (which he usually half-sleeps through).

All that to say that we basically just follow DS's lead and don't adhere to a strict schedule. Your LO probably isn't ready to sleep at 8. As for co-sleeping, if that's what you need to do to get her to sleep (and for you to get some sleep), then so be it. Just make sure you're doing it safely. She may just not want to sleep in the bassinet at this point in the game.

mommymeg143 · January 2015

I've spent several nights on the couch with Emmy on my chest. No shame on you's coming from me!! You do what you have to do at this age.

I second trying a swaddle. Also, try a rnp as a middle step between moving from your chest to the bassinet.

SweetMelissa5 · January 2015

zengal said:

kegcrc said:
Maybe he is not ready to go to sleep at 8....I used to try to put LO down at 9 and it never failed he didn't close his eyes til 11. I decided to give him a late nap 7-8 pm and start bedtime routine then. It's easier to go with the flow than to fight it. He goes to sleep at 11 on the dot, no fail. I can now get him to sleep at about 10:30 sometimes.... I would suggest starting a successful routine around when he seems to want to go to bed, get him used to it, then move it up slowly as needed.

Edit for clarity
This exactly!

Bedtime is completely led by LO, and at 11. Just go with the flow, man.

Eta when she is soundly asleep, I lay her in the bassinet with no problem. If she's not quite sound asleep, she requires a bit more rocking, soothing, etc. ..

I agree with this too. My little one doesn't tend to go down for the night until 10:30 or 11. It sucks if I want to go to bed earlier, but at this point I just roll with it. And I also bedshare with this one (as I have with all of my kids), so no flames from me on that.

oklahomamom09 · January 2015

My LO sleeps in his r&p the first stretch of the night, about 3 hours and then on my chest until about 5-6..it's the only way I get sleep.

jac409 · January 2015

Mine doesn't go down for the night until around 10 right now. My first LO was the same way, and then gradually started going down earlier as she was awake for longer periods during the day. I remember when we started sleep training with her around six months, bedtime was 9 PM, so still later than what you might think for a baby.

This LO would only sleep on my chest for about the first seven weeks, and then all of a sudden he started sleeping better in the RNP. I fell asleep with him on my chest all the time, so no flames from me. To some extent, I think think the chest sleeping thing is just something they have to work out on their own as they get used to being outside babies. I didn't do anything different than I had been doing, but I just kept trying to put him in the RNP, and eventually he decided it was alright. Now he sleeps great in it, and squirms until I put him in it. Then he settles right down and goes to sleep. Just give it time and keep trying. You're doing just fine!

staugustinewedding · January 2015

kegcrc said:
Maybe he is not ready to go to sleep at 8....I used to try to put LO down at 9 and it never failed he didn't close his eyes til 11. I decided to give him a late nap 7-8 pm and start bedtime routine then. It's easier to go with the flow than to fight it. He goes to sleep at 11 on the dot, no fail. I can now get him to sleep at about 10:30 sometimes.... I would suggest starting a successful routine around when he seems to want to go to bed, get him used to it, then move it up slowly as needed.

This. My LO never wants to go to bed earlier than 11 so she gets a quick nap at 7-8 and then we do bath time at 9,
Last feeding around 10 and then swaddle with a paci around 10:30 and she's asleep at 11..she usually sleeps (in her bassinet) until 6-7am. I don't think you're doomed but you may just need to make some changes with your routine!

Edit for clarity

narbuckle01 · January 2015

Agree with PP, nothing wrong with chest sleeping but perhaps a later routine would be better... interesting that most of use here have LO's that go down finally at 10 or 11. My DD is the same.

Also I had the same problem and several things help. First is adding a sound machine. I let her nap in a boppy in the living room during the day. She got so used to all my noise that she can not longer sleep in quiet. I have to have the noise machine on super loud for her to stay alseep. Second is swaddle so her arms don't wake her up. And the last is making sure that her head/arms/legs aren't touching cold sheets when I lay her down. I fold the swaddle so there is arms pocket behind her head so the cold sheets don't alarm and wake her.

libby+nate · January 2015

Lurking*** but I have to jump in to say you are not alone! My little girl Piper has never slept anywhere but on me and I never intended for that to happen! I was very anti co-sleeping before I researched it. She was 5lbs 3oz so she was too little for halo sleep sack and woombie when we brought her home, which is what we had. We tried vibrating pnp bassinet, Chicco bassinet that sways, a rock n play, arms reach co sleeper, her crib and a summer by my side sleeper in the bed. She also will not nap in her swing, mamaroo or bouncer. She WILL nap on her tummy next to me on the couch or in a bassinet for about 30 minutes. I'm terrified to have her sleep that way even with Snuza because she is horrible with head control. She was IUGR so her head was 50th percentile and her body 4th poor thing. She also automatically turns onto side from back. Our house is filling up with failed contraptions! My next move is to maybe replace her crib mattress with a NOOK breathable mattress and maybe try tummy sleep? Anyone have thoughts on this? Her record is 37 minutes and that was in the rnp. On my chest her record was 5 hours and she is 3-4 consistently! I decided to follow the seven safe sleep steps (minus on her back as she will sleep on my chest only) I still feel guilty and now at 8 weeks I feel like we have made zero progress. We have tried fleece swaddle, woombie, swaddle me Velcro wraps, white noise app, she will NOT take any pacifier. I have tried every brand at babies r us! We also have tried bath, no bath, lotion and massage, heating pad on bassinet, rocking and book. 8 o'clock bedtime and then 10oclock. No evening nap, long evening nap. We even tried a pumped bottle with and without nursing to sleep. I would never let her CIO. I wanted to tell you that you are not alone and we just sometimes have to follow their lead. Soon they won't want cuddled and we will miss it. I am following this thread! Good luck to you!

MuchlyGen · January 2015

Baby sleeps with me in bed and it's freaking awesome. Feel no shame, mama.

alli65 · January 2015

@libby+nate‌ I feel you about the house filling up with contraptions!
@babyknutson‌ L is 10 weeks and has been sleeping on my chest no shaming from me! Tonight I did swaddle him and put him in the arms reach co sleeper. He went 2.5 hours. If he is on me he will go 5-6. He woke up I nursed him now Im going to attempt to swaddle again and see if he goes longer. If not he will be sleeping on my chest again.

MrsLillyG · January 2015

My LO would sleep in my arms all day and night if it were up to her. Swaddling with arms in helps her get settled and stay settled in the crib.

babyknutson · January 2015

AWWW you guys are great! Thanks so much!

shoemaker140 · January 2015

Jumping in, but how the heck do you comfortably sleep with them on your chest? Lo does on me while I lay on the couch but I need to lay flat to sleep. How do y'all do this comfortably in bed? Reason I ask is because LO is very congested and she needs to sleep upright, but cannot sleep upright.

jac409 · January 2015

shoemaker140 said:

Jumping in, but how the heck do you comfortably sleep with them on your chest? Lo does on me while I lay on the couch but I need to lay flat to sleep. How do y'all do this comfortably in bed? Reason I ask is because LO is very congested and she needs to sleep upright, but cannot sleep upright.

I just propped myself up with a bunch of pillows. I sleep better laying flat too, but I guess if you are tired enough, you learn to just sleep any way you can. Thankfully, mine doesn't sleep on my chest anymore.

am I doomed?

Re: am I doomed?

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