Thoughts on a baby shower with your second

mbnc · January 2015

my first baby was a boy and now I'm pregnant with my second child and she's a girl. I've been talking with my mom about a baby shower she wants to throw but I'm having a really hard time with it. On one hand it's a girl this time and I'm getting overwhelmed with all the different things I need to get for her. But on the other hand I don't want to seem like I'm greedy or asking for a bunch of handouts. So I guess I just want people's opinions. Would you do it or not? I'd almost rather deal with the anxiety of getting everything myself then have people think I'm greedy.

brose1117 · January 2015

I think this depends a lot on the age difference between your kids. If it is large enough that you wouldn't still have anything from your son, then I don't think it's tacky and think people will understand. Otherwise, I personally would skip another shower. I feel like I'm constantly invited to things that a present is necessary for and my DH is always complaining about the money we are spending on others. If there are people who want to get you something you could direct them towards items you need. Including your mom. Since she could save on the expense of the shower. Good luck with your decision.

emu0013 · January 2015

I am a STM and they will be 3 years apart, I am not having a shower. I just do not think it's appropriate. We will be purchasing everything that we need.

thehills1983 · January 2015

mbnc said:
my first baby was a boy and now I'm pregnant with my second child and she's a girl. I've been talking with my mom about a baby shower she wants to throw but I'm having a really hard time with it. On one hand it's a girl this time and I'm getting overwhelmed with all the different things I need to get for her. But on the other hand I don't want to seem like I'm greedy or asking for a bunch of handouts. So I guess I just want people's opinions. Would you do it or not? I'd almost rather deal with the anxiety of getting everything myself then have people think I'm greedy.

If you don't mind friends and family calling you tacky and gift grabby behind your back then go for it. Otherwise skip it and buy everything yourself. What do you really need anyways? A baby can't tell the difference between blue and pink.

SarahDawn725 · January 2015

How many times can we have this conversation?

I think it depends on the situation. For example, one of my friends is expecting her second. She had her first seven years ago when she was 19. Her baby shower was very small and she had it in the hospital. My friends and I would love to throw her a party!

On the other hand, my cousin has three children, each about 2 yrs apart and had a shower for each. I was rolling my eyes and reluctantly buying her a pack of diapers by the third. So tacky.

sml72978 · January 2015

Is it baby shower etiquette day today?

MissRissx3 · January 2015

It isn't greedy. Especially if one is a boy and the newest addition is a baby girl

laurenbrnwed · January 2015

I vote no. It's tacky.

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

staccajaye · January 2015

Tacky!!!
You will receive girl clothes from friends and family anyways once baby is born.
If this is your partners first child, maybe but I wouldn't.

TabH · January 2015

SoyBoy said:
it is so weird to me how people keep asking me 'when is your baby shower?' i have a son that is not yet 2 and people cant believe i am not having another shower, nor do i want one. then they are like 'but its a girl this time!'. Well, i was smart and all of our big ticket items we got first time around were gender neutral. All we really need is clothes, new bottles, and our double stroller- all of which we can get ourselves.

do what you want but be aware that many may think it is in bad taste.

This! I'm having another girl and my mom is pretty intent on throwing me another shower. I've told her NO at least a dozen times and she still talks about it like I haven't said anything. It's driving me bats! I don't want one. DD1 turns 2 in July and everyone can just come meet the baby when we have her party.

smurf605 · January 2015

I think it depends on your area. I would never consider it, but sprinkles are common in some communities. However, I would only accept a sprinkle if it was a friend suggested throwing it, not a mom or sister.

xxstephh · January 2015

Personally everyone I know had a shower for each baby. I don't think it's a big deal ,
As long as you aren't throwing it yourself lol. Do as you want

mavericksmom · January 2015

I don't think it's tacky, but I would probably stick with a baby meet. If your heart is set on having another shower, maybe consider a "sprinkle."

thehills1983 · January 2015

A sprinkle and a shower are the same thing, it's raining either way.

mpower0606 · January 2015

I think it's very tacky and greedy. I have a girl and 3 years later I'm having a boy. No way would I agree to anyone throwing me a second shower. Anything different that I need for a boy (and I honestly can't think of something a boy would need that a girl doesn't), DH and I will buy ourselves

mp03jp · January 2015

I've posted this before and tbh I don't want to try to find it again so...

I had a second shower with DD. There is a good age gap between DS and DD, people were asking to host and others asking to come. I was going to say no thanks to having a shower until I caught wind that if I didn't let someone throw me one a surprise one was being planned. So I said yes to at least have some input on the guest list. The guest list ended up being 99% of people who asked to come to one anyway. The others were people like my mom and grandma.

I think in some cases they can be ok. But it's a case by case type of thing. I know I wouldn't side eye someone getting a second shower to celebrate a baby after having infertility issues/losses or some other kind of issue and there was a good reason to celebrate.

rels09 · January 2015

AFwifelife said:

What do girls need that is so overwhelmingly different from boys?

This is my question, too. OP, can you answer this for us? Because I am a STM and can't think of anything different other than a few clothes.

Morenajuliet · January 2015

I don't think it's appropriate to have another shower.

I'm having a boy this time around plan on purchasing accordingly. The additional purchases are just what we sign on for when we decide to have another LO

dj99 · January 2015

No!!!!

Jamilg · January 2015

I think this is silly. No, im not having another shower but i honestly see nothing wrong with having one. Its not about gifts imo its about getting together with close friends and family and celebrating. I know alot of people that have multiple showers. If anoyone is offended they dont have to go.

ktzen3 · January 2015

I like the idea of celebrating each baby. I think it is sweet and deserving. I am having baby #4 and it is our first boy after three girls. We do need some things because I got rid of almost everything and we have no boy stuff. I would never expect a big shower, though! However, my friend wants to throw me a shower. I told her I loved the idea of celebrating the baby, but let's just all go out to lunch together instead of a big shower. And no gifts!

MrsPDX · January 2015

rels09 said:

AFwifelife said:

What do girls need that is so overwhelmingly different from boys?

This is my question, too. OP, can you answer this for us? Because I am a STM and can't think of anything different other than a few clothes.

Even clothes I feel like girls could wear a lot of boy clothes other than ones that say "little man" or what not.

CrystalEve12 · January 2015

Eh, I think people are really uptight. My DH is going to be a dad for the first time. My first born (a boy) is 5. This baby is a girl. My MIL and SIL will not take no for an answer regarding a baby shower so it's happening.

jah32007 · January 2015

I honestly don't see a big deal with having a second one as long as someone really wants to throw you one. Having said that, I personally wouldn't have a second one. I had one when I was pregnant with my girls but it was my first pregnancy and honestly I didn't really want one then but MIL insisted.

ahobbs89 · January 2015

My thoughts on a second shower are that every baby should be celebrated and I see nothing wrong with having a baby shower for a subsequent child as long as you are not throwing it for your self.

amandajean42 · January 2015

I agree! If you don't agree then don't go!

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