Trouble TTC a Sibling

Can I join? intro

Hi all.

I posted a question about my situation about a month ago on TTGP, and someone suggested I might fit in here. I did not have trouble TTC my first child (in fact she was an out-of-left-field surprise that felt like a miracle) but have a laundry list of diagnoses that can cause IF: two autoimmune diseases, intra-abdominal adhesions caused by 9 abdominal/pelvic surgeries, and at some point my left tube was a casualty of all this.

Anyway, I was going to post back in December, but then got all starry-eyed and hopeful that maybe THIS CYCLE WOULD BE IT, which ended in tears and wine and not speaking to my husband when he told me "you just need to relax, honey..." and here I am. We're now on cycle #10.

It hurts and I would like to be able to be around people that understand this and are going through it too. I had to take a break from my BMB-turned-FB Group that I'd been active in daily when I couldn't take the posts about siblings anymore without crying. I'm tired of being asked when we're going to have another, both by well-meaning friends (who I am honest with but they never say the right things) and by my asinine coworkers who think they're hilarious by "reminding" me to have another.  I'm tired of the discussion of optimal child spacing (which invariably seems to be 2 years), today a friend told me he was worried about his sons' age gap being any bigger (they're 2 years 1 month apart) because "they'd have nothing in common". This whole thing just makes me want to never leave my house.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I am really glad this board exists.

baby girl  5.12

Re: Can I join? intro

  • Hi! Welcome. This is definitely the right place for you! I think everything you listed are things that happen to a lot of people on this board and we can relate the insensitivities of others prying into our lives about creating a sibling. I hope your stay here is short!

    ME: 35 DH: 39

    Married July 2011

    DD Born 8/12

    TTC #2 since 11/13

    ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube

    DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers

    July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed

    IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN

    IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15

    Beta #1-344

    Beta #2-809

    Beta #3 8,390

    1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d



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  • Welcome! I wouldn't worry about the age gap thing too much, me and my sister are 10 years apart and are super close and always have been.
    Me-30     DH-28
    BFP #1-EDD 04/06/2001, DS born 04/02/2001
    BFP #2-EDD 08/12/2006, DD born 08/19/2006
    TTC #3 since 6/12
    BFP #3-M/C in August 2012 at 6 weeks
    BFP #4-M/C in January 2013 at 9 weeks
    11/14-blood work, ultrasound, and DH SA all normal
    12/14-1st cycle of Clomid; BFN
    1/15-2nd cycle of Clomid
  • Hi and welcome! Feel free to vent here and share your struggles! We all get it! I used to feel the same way about the age gap. It's just recently that I've honestly come to peace with a minimum of a 5 year age gap. I hope your stay here is short!
  • Welcome! I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, but you are in the right place. Good luck to you.
    Together since April 2004.  Married since June 19th, 2010.
     BFP #1: January 31st 2012: CP. 
     BFP #2: June 1st 2012, Due:2/8/13. Avery was born via unplanned c section on 2/13/13. 
     BFP #3: Sept. 25th, 2014. Due: 6/5/15.  MMC on 10/23/14. Confirmed complete molar pregnancy per D&C 10/29/14, 
    HCG officially negative 12/10/14.  Benched until June 2015.
                                                        
    image 

  • thank you all so much for the welcome  :)

    @sweetc129 I have Crohn's Disease (hence all the surgeries) and ITP/immune-mediated thrombocytopenia (I make antibodies that kill healthy platelets). Luckily neither of these directly affect my cycle.. I do chart CM and have been trying to temp, but I'm so inconsistent with it that I don't get anything out of it. Need to work on that one!
    baby girl  5.12
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