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NWMR: name regret
bumpuser10331514
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Anyone regret the name(s) they picked for their LO(s)? I am hit hard with it for our DD. I called her Scarlet for the first 3 mos of my pregnancy, but DH hated it. He didn't know that's what I called her b/c we had agreed to name her after his mom, but then he decided he didn't want to and that's when I told him I'd been calling her Scarlet. He hated it so much that I felt like I had to let it go.
We gave her a pretty name, but it's common. I was staunchly in the "elegant" camp (Scarlet, Violet, Vervara (Vivi), Lilia, Gabriella, Valerie, Juliette) and DH was staunchly in the traditional camp (Rebecca, Sara, Elizabeth, Jennifer). I ended up picking the name the second I saw her face feeling that she didn't look like any of my "fancy" names (but what newborn does?), but now that I've gotten to know her - I really feel like she is so, so much a Scarlet or Vervara or Violet. I feel like it would be a little nutso to change it, but - maybe not?
One boy (11.26.12) and one girl (2.28.14)
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Re: NWMR: name regret
Also - you are not asking for opinions on the three names you gave so I won't give them but I think you could definitely rationalize and find reasons why each of these names is not "ideal" (recognizing that there is no such thing as an ideal name).
My only regret is my children's names just happen to coincide with characters on TV shows. Not even same era shows, but people still go OH LIKE ON SHOW?!
My oldest was named before the show even existed, and my youngest has a name that also appeared on the same show. So they think I am some sort of TV junkie, when in fact, I didn't even know about the connection until someone pointed it out (and then I started watching the show...)
It isn't too late to change it for a nickname...but what does DH think about changing it for a name name? I can Scarlet being a nm if she is dramatic, for example?
I love my daughter's first name (her middle name is after my late sister).
However, there are sometimes that I feel like her name doesn't fit her personality at the moment. She is such a rough little spitfire sometimes I think that a more "stronger sounding" <--- I don't really have a better way to describe it, name would suit her better (like a Harper or Avery or something).
However, I wouldn't change her name. Use a nickname. I know many people who go by one name, but their "legal name" isn't anything close.
When I was pregnant with DS, my DH and I had agreed that if it were a girl, we would name her Allison. I absolutely LOVE Allison (Ali for short). DS obviously wasn't a girl, so we picked a boys name. Fast Forward to when I was pregnant with DD. We found out it was a girl, and I immediately was like, oh good. We're all set on Allison. DH had a change of heart and we narrowed it down to two names. We were both strongly leaning towards one of them, but when DD was born, it just didn't fit at all, so she was unnamed for the first day and a half in the hospital. We finally decided to go with the other name, and I think I was just so tired after giving birth, I just conceded. In retrospect, I really wish I had fought for Allison. She totally looks like an Allison to me, and I just don't love her name.
DD is now almost 3, so there is no way we are going to change her name at this point, and it drives DH crazy that I still think about it, but I can't help it!! Just know you are not alone!!
PS. I love the name Alexandrea.
This is a difficult decision. Like others mentioned you could use a nickname. But this is a very personal choice. FWIW I think her name is beautiful and sounds very elegant to me.
Ha! Addison and Cooper....and she wasn't on Private Practice until later! The other is Piper - and that's the Charmed reference I always get.
I always think Drea is a bold name - could that work?
If she were 6 months or less old, I would say to consider it.
I think at almost 1 year old you have missed the boat, but sorry you are going thru this!
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
I'm not sold on DDs name either. I don't dislike it, I just am still kind of undecided among the three names we always liked. But I'll tell you we did talk about changing it the first week because people kept mispronouncing it.
Strangely we call her a nickname that's totally unrelated to her name or any of the names we were considering; it just evolved and kind of stuck. Just the other day I mused out loud that maybe we should have named her one of our other top choices and my DS over heard and loudly told me "That is NOT [nickname's] name! Her name is Baby [name]" - funny.
Anyway, if you really don't like it I say change it. It's early enough, but I do think it's kind of a one-shot deal.
FWIW I think Alexandrea is elegant - definitely not one I'd call "traditional"
I also think you shouldn't change it.
Go with a nickname.
I have also had name regret. We named my daughter after my mom, who has a very old, very unique welsh family name. It's spelled phonetically, but I think people freak out when they see it
I had a loss, followed by my pregnancy with DD which was very rocky, so neither me or DH got really involved in discussing names (felt like it could be bad luck, I guess), other than DH vetoed names I liked.
Combine that with my mom got very very ill while I was pregnant and almost died -- we basically defaulted into naming her what after my mom and chose a nice (turns out common) middle name.
I really didn't count on how much it would bother me that people are so thrown by her name and never say it right, and I have settled into a nick name that I didn't think I would use. Overall, I'm not going to be changing her name but I often think what it would be like if I had named her X or Y. It's a good name for her, though. It's a special snowflake name and she's a special snow flake.
ETA: I sometimes jokingly tell people my mom got sick in order to trick me into naming my kid after her b/c she got better right after DD was born.
I think that's a beautiful name! I have a friend whose parents changed her name sometime after her first birthday. On her birthday, she'll post on FB a pic of her first birthday cake with her original name. Honestly, I think it's really bizarre that her parents did that, and she feels like she had another identity! Not good all around.
While I like my boys' middle names, I'm sorry I didn't give either one of them my dad's middle name. I just didn't love Frederick, but it really would have meant a lot to my dad. I really gave it serious thought with DS2, but DH wasn't a big fan. I know he would have given in if I had insisted, but I didn't. I'm just kind of bummed about it.
I wouldn't change her name. There are so many beautiful nicknames that she can go by.
I regret how we spelled DS's name - Collin with 2 Ls. It was something we debated - I liked the traditional one L spelling; DH liked 2. At the time of his birth Colin Powell was still very active in politics and was on the news all of the time and we didn't want DS to be called Colon because ewwww.
So in the MOTN at the hospital we finally filled the paperwork out with 2 Ls. I really wish we had gone with one. People usually spell it with one when they write it and then DS gets mad that we spelled his name wrong. But my friend who had a Colin at about the same time we did said a lot of people pronounced his son's name Colon so I guess we were right about that.
And somehow it ended up being a really popular name and every time he plays sports there is either another Colin on his team or a Colin on the other team so people are yelling commands to various Colins on the field all the time.
I am perfectly happy with DDs name and it seems to suit her well.
I think part of the reason I hate my name so much is that my parents forbade me from using a nickname and they didn't give me a middle name. (My mom hates her first name and goes by her middle name, so she was CLEARLY foreclosing that option from me.) They also told me if I changed it when I turned 18, they wouldn't pay for college. Once all your college crap has one name on it, changing your first name becomes an utter pain in the ass. So a general piece of advice for everyone: When they are old enough, even before they start elementary school, give your child some say in what they are called. Whether it's fair or not, kids are judged by what their parents name them.
And don't even get me started on Jessie's Girl.....
It's funny to hear women say they have name regrets and should've pushed their husband harder to agree with them...wouldn't their husbands be the one with regrets then??
I'm currently expecting #3, and my oldest daughter came up with this baby's name also. Surprisingly, DH and I both liked the name and agreed on it early on. So, for any and all additional children, our oldest is in charge or names, I suppose.
Each state has different policies, and I called our department of vital records to have them walk me through the process. They told me that it happens way more than people would think, and since we live within driving distance of our state capital, I drove to do it in person to make sure it really went through. We had to file to change the name on the social security card, but that was just as easy as it was when I changed my maiden name.