Community› The Bump Month Clubs› May 2014 Moms
May 2014 Moms
New Discussion

Problems with a friend

bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
in May 2014 Moms
So I have vented on one of the threads at some point about a friend that I have. Her and her husband are pretty close to my brother in law. Well since they are close and I dont want drama, I am having a hard time figuring out how to deal with the situation. This girl had her DS last March, 2 months before DD was born. All she has done since I had DD is one up every single thing DD does. I have talked to her about it and explained that every child is different and it isnt fun being around her when she acts like that. Not trying to brag but my DD has met several milestones before her DS and instead of being happy for DD, she gets annoyed and defensive. I don't rub it in her face. She asked me at one point what gender I would like for baby #2. I said a girl would be nice because I am used to a girl but a boy would be nice because it would be a different experience. She got very offended and started rambling about boys being easier to raise and more easy going. I could be wrong but this makes me think she wanted a girl and is slightly jealous. She messaged me today and pointed out that her DS' story time today was so loud and obnoxious because it had all girls. Her story time on Thursday was so calm with all boys. She knows I am going to start TTC this year but decided to point out that she is waiting until DS is older so she can spend time with him and not neglect her DS. I wanted to say "well im having baby #2 so I dont have to spend time with DD". I understand wanting to wait but everyone has their preference and shouldn't be put down for their decision. This girl does not think before she talks and pisses me off several times when we hang out, which is not very often. She has been trying to come up with a day to hang out and I dont want to! She is exhausting and annoying. My question is: how do I get out of hanging out with her without causing drama?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Problems with a friend

  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    She is closer to my BIL. DH and I are friends with both her and her DH.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    Thanks btw :)
    Report Reply
  • Helmink0804Helmink0804 member
    Sorry you have to go through that! I agree with @sstwinklinglites‌- just make excuses and sooner or later she'll get it- good luck!

    BabyFruit Ticker

    <img src="<a href="http://tinypic.com?ref=2s9vof8" target="_blank"><img src="http://i59.tinypic.com/2s9vof8.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>" width="180px">

    Report Reply
  • bossyfergbossyferg member
    Sorry you are going through this. Better to cut the tie now. Imagine dragging out a negative relationship like that over the years ahead and her always competing with you and your kid(s). If she's this bad now, imagine what she will be like when you have another baby.
    If talking to her and explaining is not an option, I would avoid her until she gets the point that you no longer want to be friends.
    Report Reply
  • EmmagkEmmagk member
    Agree with PP, just stop making plans with her. And just respond with "humm that's nice" whenever you are with her and she makes those kind of comments. Just let her talk about her son and don't offer any info on your DD
    Report Reply
  • JennyinheavenJennyinheaven member
    I vote just cut her out, If you need to see her in a group setting be polite but distant otherwise be too busy.
    Report Reply
  • ksyknelvr73ksyknelvr73 member
    I don't understand why you even talk to this person, to be honest. I know sometimes that's easier said than done, but as we get older, and especially as we have children, I just don't even have TIME for these kinds of people. If you don't feel like being confrontational, just avoid her I suppose. If she asks to hang out just say you can't and don't even offer any excuses. If she says annoying things to you about your own child or what kind of hopes you may have for another child, either completely ignore her or just say "Okay" and let that be it. People like this do not need to be validated whatsoever, you do not need to bother defending yourself.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d

    BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11

    BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d

    BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13

     

    BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14 

    Report Reply
  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    @becole42‌ she is sweet to talk to if its unrelated to our LOs. The only thing bothering me is the one upping. She is so bad with it, it comes across as very rude. She knows since im a sahm I am trying to watch our spending. Since she doesnt have the option of staying home she has to rub in my face all the time about how much she buys for her LO. Thank you ladies for all of your opinions and advice :)
    Report Reply
  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    She's jealous. I have a friend like this. I would probably milk it but I'm an ass sometimes

    It's a BOY










    Report Reply
  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    Haha I have to admit I have responded to her with things that I knew would aggravate her because I got so fed up! Does your friend say these things to you @momthatlifts‌?
    Report Reply
  • EmmagkEmmagk member
    bridetobe9132013 said:
    @becole42‌ she is sweet to talk to if its unrelated to our LOs. The only thing bothering me is the one upping. She is so bad with it, it comes across as very rude. She knows since im a sahm I am trying to watch our spending. Since she doesnt have the option of staying home she has to rub in my face all the time about how much she buys for her LO. Thank you ladies for all of your opinions and advice :)
    If she makes rude snarky comments then make some right back, maybe a dose of her own medicine will make it stop. If she comments about how much they spend on their LO tell her you'd prefer to teach DD values beyond consumerism.
    Report Reply
  • momthatliftsmomthatlifts member
    bridetobe9132013 said:

    Haha I have to admit I have responded to her with things that I knew would aggravate her because I got so fed up! Does your friend say these things to you @momthatlifts‌?

    She's a part of a fb group I am in. We have known each other since before we got our bfps. She has a daughter too. She literally, no exaggeration, will comment and like everyone else's pictures (we have a hdbd) except mine. Any thing I say about dd referring to accomplishments, she will never acknowledge it. We are also having a jackpot weight loss thing. I'm not participating in the jackpot because my goals are different and km not actually trying to lose weight. But we post pictures of ourselves every Tuesday and our transformations. Nothing is ever said on my posts and she never shows any support to me. I have even had girls message me telling me they noticed it!

    It's a BOY










    Report Reply
  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    I have said things back to her. Yesterday when she was talking about the boys being easier and quieter than girls I told her that girls are just outgoing and I love that my LO likes to play with other kids. Her DS clung to her last time we got together and had mo interest in playing with my LO. Then I started saying that I cant wait for my LO's to be close in age (if all goes as planned).
    Report Reply
  • bridetobe9132013bridetobe9132013 member
    @momthatlifts i am sorry you have to deal with an insecure person too. She also never comments or likes any of my pictures of DD on fb and I know she has seen them. She told me over the summer that everyone thinks her baby is the cutest baby ever. She also told me that when they went to see the mall santa, santa thanked them for bringing their son and said he was the best baby he has ever seen! She was acting jealous when I mentioned we were taking DD to a brunch in with santa a few days before that
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"