Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
vvvvvfee
member
Re: Extended BFing Weekly Check-in, 1/13
1. How old is your LO? 17 months tomorrow!
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? 2x (wake-up and bedtime)
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? 2 nights for a work conference when she was 15.5 months.
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? I don't really have one unless I can count myself. LO struggled with weight loss/poor gain due to milk transfer issues for the first 3-4 months, during which I nursed, pumped, and supplemented with the pumped milk (6-7 feedings a day at first, and then weaning off the pumping/supplementing one feeding at a time once LO got the hang of nursing right around 3-3.5 months old). Now that she is 17 months and still BFing, I am able to look back and say 1000% it was completely worth it, and I'm very proud of myself (and LO!) for not giving up.
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets? Yes! I have a 7.5-year-old pug named Teddie (on the left in my avatar). I've had him since he was 13 weeks old, and I completely adore him. Seeing him with LO is such a joy. Our second pug (on the right in the picture) passed away when LO was 12 days old - I think of him as LO's guardian angel.
1. How old is your LO? 16 months
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? Currently 4-6 but I'm trying to get her down to 3
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? A few hours
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? I guess my mom, she extended BF all four of us daughters and I went to her for a lot of my questions when I started BFing
Pregnant & BFing Moms: How are you doing this week? Any issues with supply, pain, aversion? Questions for other moms?
I'm nauseous when BFing. A bit of sensitivity but nothing too bad yet.
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets?
No pets
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? 4-6. It depends how many times per night she wakes up (sometimes none!) as well as what we have going on during the day.
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? 12 hours
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? I can't think of anyone specific, but I will say myself and anyone on here (or in "real" life) who is supportive of breastfeeding and encourages others. I really admire those who kept with it despite many struggles as well as people who volunteer their time to help others.
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets? Yes, we have a 4 year old Goldendoodle and I think of him as my son.
He still nurses on demand. I'm Sahm so he has unlimited access 24/7.
The longest I have been away from Ty is probably 3hrs. He is always with me.
We have a lab named Sierra. She just turned 4.
1. How old is your LO? 19 months
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? 2 (morning and bedtime) though her morning sessions have gotten really short over the past week (sometimes literally 2 minutes) so she may be getting ready to drop that one.
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? Just the length of a workday
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? You guys! I don't know anyone IRL who has done extended BF. My mom did BF all her children so she was very supportive and that helped in the beginning but she never BF this long.
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets? No
1. How old is your LO? 17 months (18 months on the 25th)
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? ~ 9 times. I am really trying to night wean and could use some help.
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? 10 hours while I was working.
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? I like The Milk Meg. No one IRL.
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets? No pets but my daughter loves dogs so I do see one in our future some time soon.
1. How old is your LO? 17 months
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? 4-7
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? A few hours
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one?
I actually feel lucky to have had a few inspirational women in my life whose support and breastfeeding success helped motivate me. My mom, who breastfed seven children past a 15-16 months, and a friend of mine whose LO is 18 months older than mine breastfed her daughter almost 2 years.
Pregnant & BFing Moms: How are you doing this week? Any issues with supply, pain, aversion? Questions for other moms?
Non BF-ing question of the week:
5. Do you have any pets?
Yes! I have a beautiful basenji named Kiora. She mostly lives with my sister now because before I had my little one my sister and I lived together and raised our dogs together. When I moved in with my husband my puppy became depressed with severe SA. After trying to work it out for 8 months I had to concede that she wasn't meant to be an only dog. So she moved back in with my sister and her best friend Keoke and now is a much happier puppy (not really a puppy, she is 9). She is still my furbaby though and I visit her regularly.
Recently I have been feeling a gap of not having fuzzy mammal in my life so we adopted a kitten. I am excited for my son to grow up in a world enriched with other species.
Also I have some tarantulas.
2. How many times a day does your LO breastfeed? Around 4 or 5. He's waking in the night wanting to BF again. Uggg...
3. What is the longest you have been away from your LO? Probably about 6 hours. I'd go longer, but the opportunity hasn't presented itself.
4. Who is your BFing role model, if you have one? Before DS was born it was my sister and SIL. They both BF'd until one year.
5. Do you have any pets? We have two cats and one parakeet.