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School/Work/Mommy

staciecoffeystaciecoffey member
in 2nd Trimester
So I am officially freaking out, I work full time, a full time student and soon a full time mommy!! Any ladies out their have any advice on how to manage it all and still have time to cook/clean/breathe?!
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Re: School/Work/Mommy

  • staciecoffeystaciecoffey member
    You are a saint! Childcare will be while I'm at work and my SO is amazing with helping out. My fear is his job sometimes has him working all day,7-whenever he's finished and I'm scared I won't be able to juggle taking care of everything and everyone(we also have 2 dogs). This was not a planned pregnancy and my intent was to get pregnant after I graduated. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about being pregnant and want nothing more than to be a mommy, I just hope I'm a good mommy.
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  • staciecoffeystaciecoffey member
    I hope school is a temporary thing because at this point I feel like a professional student!
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  • niknak1208niknak1208 member
    I'm not going to sugar coat- It's hard. I am not a student but I work full time, always have. I have a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old. I'm 19 weeks pregnant with our third. It is NOT easy. I feel like all I do is run and run and run. I sit down at 10pm. I'm up before anyone else. I work anywhere from 40-60 hours a week. I even work in town which is only a 20 minute commute for me. (I used to have an hour commute).  My son is in kindergarten and he has before and after school care at the school.  His school as daycare for little ones, as long as they can walk and drink from a sippy so my daughter also goes there full time.  Once this baby comes, I'll have two drop offs because they don't take babies.  

    Honestly, certain things just become less important to you. Or less of a priority. I'm a clean freak. I absolutely cannot stand when my house is dirty and to be frank.. I couldn't tell you the last time my house was spotless. I don't get home from work after picking up kids until 6pm. By the time I cook dinner (because my husband doesn't get home from work until about 7-8pm).. it's 7pm. By the time the kids have a bath .. it's almost bedtime. Some nights I don't even clean up the kitchen because I'm just too tired!  Some days I don't do any laundry at all.  Sometimes my floor is dirtier than I want it to be.  But I would rather my kids be fed and clean and get to spend some time with their mom every night. 

    it's tough. Somehow you just make it work!  I always say that moms are superheroes. We are warriors seriously. Sometimes I go to bed at night and I'm not even sure how i got through the day. lol  

    Good luck to you!! 
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  • mandi195mandi195 member
    I worked full time, went to school full time, and had a little one at home. My husband (now ex-husband) was NEVER helpful in any capacity; if I wasn't home I had to arrange child care because he didn't want to "babysit"... wtf, right!? 
    It was hard; it was hectic; but it was manageable and worth every second. Now my little guy is 8, and I've got a 7 year old step-son and a little lady on the way. I'm done with school, and am married to someone who is an equal partner and parent, and while there are still times that things are difficult (he's a police office so sometimes has to work late without warning, etc), it's gotten easier. 
    Hang in there lady, and have some faith in yourself! Finishing your degree will be a great benefit to you and your family, and your LO will be proud of you (when they are old enough to understand). 
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  • staciecoffeystaciecoffey member
    mandi195 said:

    I worked full time, went to school full time, and had a little one at home. My husband (now ex-husband) was NEVER helpful in any capacity; if I wasn't home I had to arrange child care because he didn't want to "babysit"... wtf, right!? 

    It was hard; it was hectic; but it was manageable and worth every second. Now my little guy is 8, and I've got a 7 year old step-son and a little lady on the way. I'm done with school, and am married to someone who is an equal partner and parent, and while there are still times that things are difficult (he's a police office so sometimes has to work late without warning, etc), it's gotten easier. 
    Hang in there lady, and have some faith in yourself! Finishing your degree will be a great benefit to you and your family, and your LO will be proud of you (when they are old enough to understand). 
    Tell your husband thank you and thank you!! Yall have no idea how much I needed this kind words especially with my current job being in jeopardy because the company maybe going broke. And I definitely think yall are all super heroes and hope I can be just as good of one!
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member
    edited January 2015

    With a supportive partner who takes on an egalitarian approach to parenting and household duties so many things are possible. My story is different that yours, but I also balance more than the average bear with work, kids, and grad school, so I can relate.  You'll need to be on your communication A-game with both of you to manage expectations, schedule, needs, etc. Schedule in down time! That needs to be a non-negotiable. That may mean you and baby folding clothes on Monday mornings--versus solo trips to Starbucks with a leisure book-- but at least it is time where nothing is scheduled.

    That said, remember that change is always an option. You may find that it is wise to cut back in an area for a season. Those decisions can be hard, but there WILL be other options at the right time. I say that to be encouraging because I felt locked into some things (even good things) that stopped being the right fit at some point, and I struggled with saying yes to  a new, different-but-great reality, and I wish someone had reminded me that I could change things and still thrive at work, home, etc. (For me, it ended up being working 30 hours instead of 40+ when my youngest was 1.5 years and my oldest was 3.) You may not need to make those changes, but if it comes to that, know that those are valid choices, too.  Best of luck to you!

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  • staciecoffeystaciecoffey member
    @pixieprincss‌ thank you so much! And kudos to you for doing so much while in grad school! I think all this would be easier if I actually enjoyed school, but I definitely hate with a passion and am trying to push through to better myself.
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  • FirstTimeDaddy81FirstTimeDaddy81 member

    @staciecoffey what are you going to school for?  How much more time do you have left before you are finished? 

    It sounds like you have a supportive partner in this, so I'm sure that will be extremely helpful even if he has a rough work schedule.  A lot of people gave good advice so that hopefully you can be as prepared for this life changing event as possible, but ultimately you don't really know what it's going to be like until you get there. 

    Before you started school, I'm sure that working full time and going to school seemed rather daunting, but once you start doing it, you found a way to make it work.  I'm sure the baby will be the same way.  You and your SO will both have more responsibilities every day, but if the two of you are working together, you'll be able to do it. 

    Just make sure you communicate with him about what you're going through and how you're feeling.  You women have a tendency to try to hint at what you want us men to do, and then you get mad at us for not picking up on it.  Hints don't work.  Even us good guys that want to be helpful are going to sit on the couch and watch sportscenter when we don't realize there's an issue.  Make sure to communicate with your man so that he knows when you need him to pitch in more, because I'm sure there will be times when you need his help.

    Best of luck!

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