March 2015 Moms
marthah05
member
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Doula Sorry it's long
marthah05
member
My sister in law (H's sister) has offered to be a doula for me, after the baby is born. Although I think the offer is a kind gesture, I am leery about taking her up on the offer.
My sister in law is a high school teacher and tends to be on the bossy, do it my way or no way track. She has bombarded me with when are you getting pregnant for several months prior to me having my doctors clearing my medical issues, she also constantly tells me about breastfeeding, and how she breastfed my niece until she was almost three. She truly believes every woman produces more milk then one child can drink, and being a medical professional I have explained ad nauseum that every woman is different and I can only give my child what I produce if anything at all. When I was still in my first trimester and not ready to tell the whole family about my pregnancy she was up both my H's ass and my ass to tell everyone, however since I am superstitious I felt waiting until the second trimester was the appropriate time to devulge that information. I have told her numerous times she needs to stop her bossy behavior and she tells me she likes to be bossy.
I am the youngest of three in my family so I am not stranger to being told what to do all the time. With that being said, I also have nine nieces and nephews, six of which I helped take care of from the time I was 12. I have changed diapers, fed, burped, bathed, dressed, etc many babies in my life time. I know it is very different when it is your own child but a dirty baby butt is a dirty baby butt. I took care of my grandmother when she was crippled with Alzheimer's disease, could no longer clean herself, feed herself or remember where the bathroom was when she was standing next to the toilet
Personally I think I will need a little while to adjust but at the same time, I think I have a good grasp on how to take care of an infant even though this will be the first of my own. So my questions is, do I really need a doula? If I need some help, isn't that what my husband is for?
Sorry it was so lengthy but I needed to give you some background.
My sister in law is a high school teacher and tends to be on the bossy, do it my way or no way track. She has bombarded me with when are you getting pregnant for several months prior to me having my doctors clearing my medical issues, she also constantly tells me about breastfeeding, and how she breastfed my niece until she was almost three. She truly believes every woman produces more milk then one child can drink, and being a medical professional I have explained ad nauseum that every woman is different and I can only give my child what I produce if anything at all. When I was still in my first trimester and not ready to tell the whole family about my pregnancy she was up both my H's ass and my ass to tell everyone, however since I am superstitious I felt waiting until the second trimester was the appropriate time to devulge that information. I have told her numerous times she needs to stop her bossy behavior and she tells me she likes to be bossy.
I am the youngest of three in my family so I am not stranger to being told what to do all the time. With that being said, I also have nine nieces and nephews, six of which I helped take care of from the time I was 12. I have changed diapers, fed, burped, bathed, dressed, etc many babies in my life time. I know it is very different when it is your own child but a dirty baby butt is a dirty baby butt. I took care of my grandmother when she was crippled with Alzheimer's disease, could no longer clean herself, feed herself or remember where the bathroom was when she was standing next to the toilet
Personally I think I will need a little while to adjust but at the same time, I think I have a good grasp on how to take care of an infant even though this will be the first of my own. So my questions is, do I really need a doula? If I need some help, isn't that what my husband is for?
Sorry it was so lengthy but I needed to give you some background.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Doula Sorry it's long
The lack of sleep and discomfort after having my son gave me a bit of a short fuse and if you were in my home and not being helpful I would have sent you away.
If you choose to have her as a doula for you, do so because you think she will be helpful, not to spare feelings or try to please anyone.
I did not have a doula with my son, but my MIL came and stayed for about two weeks helping me cook and clean so I could take care of the baby. As long as you and your husband communicate and he understands your needs and limitations after birth and what will be expected of him I think you may be alright without a doula.
Sorry to be so long winded.
For suzyq0525
Second - I'd say no if I were you. The role of a PPD is to support and help you. If they add stress then they are either a bad fit or not doing their job properly. If she's already stressing you out, I can't imagine it will get any better. Especially if you put her in a position of "authority".
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