Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Never Tell Me the Odds *********BFP (mine)********
Way to make me tear up on a Tuesday morning!! So happy for you! Congrats!
Me (28)- PCOS, no natural cycle since stopping BC pills in 2013
DH (29)- SA= all good
Married since March 2013 (together since 2004) + TTC since April 2013
Provera 12/13, 6/14, 8/14, 10/ 14, 12/14
Clomid 50 mg 12/14- no follicles big enough, stair stepped with Clomid 100 mg (1 follicle 22/25 mm) + Ovidrel trigger shot 1/15- BFN
Clomid 150 mg 1/15- no follicles responding- repeated 150 mg + Ovidrel trigger shot + IUI- BFP
Me: 27 DH: 35
TTC #1 Since July 2013
Started RE Testing July 2014
2 HSG tests: Right tube is blocked, possible endo.
TSH elevated, started Synthroid 25 mg daily.
October, 2014: Femara 5 mg + TI ---> 3 follies on blocked tube side ---> BFN
November, 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI#1--2 follies (on the good side), 46 mil. motile sperm=BFN
Nov-Dec 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI #2 (1 follie, 76 mil. motile sperm) + Endometrin=BFN
January, 2014: Femara + Ovidrel + IUI #3 (1 follie, 38 mil. motile sperm)=???
New RE appt. scheduled for 1/14.
3T January Siggy Challenge: New Years Resolutions
Mine: Lose the weight I put on from booze and cookies over Christmas.
TTC since 10/2010 (Rhythm method since 2007)
September 2014 DX Hashimoto's; November 2014: PCOS IR
***
DH (37) Sept 2012 SA Normal; October 2014 Mild MFI count 42 Million, Motility 36%, Morphology 2%. Clomid 50mg,
2004 Cyrosurgery, LEEP
July 2012 - October 2012 - Clomid 50mg W/ TI & Progesterone 3 mature follicles- BFN
January 2013 IUI #1 (900,000 post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 2 mature follicles - BFN
February 2013 IUI #2 (1.3 Mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, TI & Progesterone 4 mature follicles - BFN
March 2013 IUI #1-3 (2.5 mil post wash) Clomid 50mg, Baby Aspirin (lining thinned) TI & Progesterone - 2 mature follicles BFN
April 2013 Benched due to cyst, May 2013 WTF appointment
June 2013 DH SA mild MFI break for 2 months to re-test; August 2013 - DH SA 36 Mil count, 36% Motility, Morp 2%
September - December 2013 - Mental sanity Break
January 2014 - IUI #4 switches to natural due to scheduling conflict Femara TI & Progesterone - 1 mature follicle - BFN
May 2014-June 2014 - DH Appointment w/ Urologist to check Bi-lateral Varicocele; 2nd opinion w/ another urologist - bi-lateral varicocele dx is slight no surgery
July 2014 DH starts clomid 25mg daily SA 53.8 Mil count, Motility 37%, Morph 3%;
September 2014 DH Repeat SA after being on clomid for 3 months 42 Mil Count, Motility 36%, Morph 2%
October 2014 Me: Hashimoto's DX, DH taken off clomid;November 2014 Me: new RE PCOS IR Diagnosis
December 2014: IUI #4 Follitism 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, BFMFN
January 2015: IUI #5 Gonal-F 75iu 7 days, TI, IUI & Progesterone, Another BFMFN onto IUI #6
congrats!
Official diagnosis: Unexplained IF. I am 32. I have low ovarian reserve (low AMH), and poor egg quality. I've also been diagnosed with mild glandular developmental arrest (lining problems, detected with EFT).
We are using open ID donor sperm. IUIs #1-7=BFN. IVF September 2014 antagonist protocol, 8R,5M,3F, 5 day transfer of 1 morula = BFN. IVF#2 planned for January 2015 (antagonist protocol + HGH).
Me: 28 MH:35
Married September 2012. TTC since September 2013
June 2014 - Dx w/ significant PCOS and referred to RE.
July/August 2014 - Testing complete: Testosterone & AMH very high, FSH slightly high, Vitamin D low, tubes and lining all lovely. DH SA: A+
Cycle 1 (Nov 2014): 2.5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI = BFN
Cycle 2 (Dec 2014): 5 mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN
Cycle 3 (Jan 2015): 5mg Letrozole/Ovidrel/TI - BFN
WTF consult scheduled for 1/29
****Loss in Sig****
3T Sig Challenge: New Year's Resolutions
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
March 2014 - HSG left tube blocked, right tube partially blocked bilaterial partial obstruction; onward to the RE in April
May 1, 2014 - Lap surgery and chromopertubation; Dr removed a bit of endo, but everything looks healthy & tubes are clear!
May 2014- First medicated cycle, 2.5mg femara+TI; BFN
June 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI on 6/18= BFP on 6/28!; C/P on 7/3
July 2014- 2.5mg femara + IUI #2 on 7/18. Starting progesterone 7/23, bfn
August 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI # 3 on 8/15. BFN
Tx break
IVF #1 -
12/1 - TOT & SIS- RE found a polyp
12/15 - Hysterscopic surgery to remove the polyp; additional polyps found and removed
12/29- Good baseline u/s, 12 antral follies
12/30- Started stimming
1/10 - ER: 17 retrieved, 14 fertilized!
My Ovulation Chart - No data, just meds
Married Sept. 2012
Me 39 MH 40
DD# 1 10/23/02
DD#2 06/11/13
2 losses, one before DD#2 at 5 weeks, one after DD#2 at 4.5 weeks
TTC #3
10/15/14 Consultation with RE
Nov & Dec '14 IUI BFN & 1 cancelled d/t early O
Jan 15 Consultations with 2 new RE's for different opinions for possible IVF with DE
Jan '15 Starting the process for Foster to adopt!
Me 34 Him 33
May 2014 - Break cycle to repeat saline sonogram and re-group. Travel to Kauai 5/7-5/12 (Yay!!)
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
TTC 10/2013
RE Help from 10/2014-10/2016 (11 failed IUIs, a corrective surgery, and a donor embryo cycle)
9/2016-transferred two donor embies
BFP 9/29/26 EDD June 11
PCOS | Anovulatory | Metformin + Letrozole
11/14- IUI #2 w/ Menopur- Blood Test= Negative
1/15- IUI # 3 w/ Menopur- Blood Test= Negative
2/15- Self Benched this cycle
3/15/15-Suprise BFP on natural cycle!!!! EDD-11/16/15
Me (29) DH (37)
Married 7/11
Actively TTC 3/12
DX: PCOS
Current treatment: Break from IUIs until after the holidays
-----All Welcome----
~~~January 3T Siggy Challenge: New Year's Resolutions~~~
(I don't do resolutions...so I stole T-Rex's)
************Siggy warning, LO & loss***************
Me 37 - DH 37 unexplained infertility
DS born 09/99
TTC since 2010
12/11 BFP - ectopic, received methotrexate, benched 4 months
08/14 - exploring fertility options
Tubes clear, SA for DH all clear
10/14- #1 IUI (femera/ovadril/progesterone), 2 follicles 22/17, post wash count 94 million BFN
10/14 - #2 IUI (Femera/ovidrel/progesterone ), 2 follies 19/20, post wash 111 million, BFN Dec 2014 Femera BFFN Taking a break to explore foster to adopt!
Me: 33, DH: 32
TTC: 2 years
Fertility blood tests all normal
Tilted uterus
3 day ultrasound 17 follicles
HSG: 11/13/13- tubes open
DH SA: SUPER sperm (145 million, 84% motility, 22% morphology)
All infection disease and immunity blood tests NORMAL
FIRST IUI May 2014: 100 mg Clomid days 5-9, third ultrasound CD 13 revealed four follicles 27, 24 and 20 and 13mm. Trigger shot May 28 with IUI May 29 and 30 (fingers crossed) - BFN started spotting 11DPO
IUI #2 B2B 6/23 and 6/24, three mature eggs and 130 million sperm! FX this is the month! BFN 7/8
3rd cycle benched due to cysts - TI with OPK tests - BFN
3rd mediated cycle: Clomid+Trigger+TI (three follies left side, one on right as usual....what the hell right ovary get it together and produce some damn follicles!) 7DPO progesterone level 43 with NO suppositories YAY for a natural strong ovulation. Beta canceled started spotting 13DPO - Third time is not a CHARM! 14 day cycle WTF! Everything looks normal - RE wants to start injectables next cycle so this cycle I'm benched
Officially benched until March....but still plan on trying the baking soda douche due to my excessive and thick CM
JANUARY SIGGY CHALLENGE...This is so me!
Love this man....he was so before his time in his thoughts and ideas about the world....been obsessed about him lately bringing it back to the early 90s.
Never thought I would like long hair....
OMG I'm so excited for you! I love coming here seeing BFPs and I was especially hoping to see one from you!!! Congratulations!!!!
NTNP 1/2013
SA Results: nothing to count...
MFI RE 2/14/2014 Rx Clomid
TTC 4/26/2014
6/25/2014 DH Low T 132 Switched to Chorionic Gonadotropin hCG injections 2x wk
7/15/2014 DH Testosterone check 607!
8/15/2014 DH new SA 1 MILLION!!!!!!
11/20/2014 DH new SA 2 Million
DH continues treatment while moving towards Foster to Adopt