Hello! I have never posted here before, but I'm often on the March '15 thread. I tried to look and see if there was a thread for similar situations and didn't see one, at least not in the most recent few pages, so I apologize if this is a repeat thread. I appreciate anyone who reads this through- thank you in advance!
This will be my first LO if everything goes well, and because of different "groups" being adamant about showers, there might potentially be four. I am super worried about being tacky and gift-grabby. Absolutely nobody would be invited to more than one, so that helps me feel better, but I'm still worried about it and just not sure how to combine/decline any of these showers. Here is the rundown:
Sunday School group- there is a committee just for baby showers, and even though we are brand new to the class (just moved up a class) they are adamant on giving showers.
Work group- I'm assuming one day at work, so definitely just coworkers. They always do a shower though. Hard to decline.
Hometown group- Would just be close family and neighbors from my hometown (4 hours away from current town).
Current town group- my MIL wants to host one here and this would be mostly the women on my H's side and some mutual friends of the whole family.
There is a possibility that the hometown one wouldn't happen... realistically it would have to be around the holidays, and if the neighbors forget they offered/get too busy, that would be absolutely fine. In fact, it would be a little bit of a relief.
If you were in this situation, what would you do?? Any and all advice appreciated!!! :-??
As long as people are only being invited to one shower, this isn't gift grabby at all. consider yourself lucky that you have so many people in your life that want to celebrate.
Just because etiquette doesn't frown upon it doesn't mean it's not ridiculous...
What would you suggest? Lumping all groups together? What if each group consists of 20 people making for a shower with 80 people which would IMO be more ridiculous.
Just because etiquette doesn't frown upon it doesn't mean it's not ridiculous...
I do feel like it seems a little ridiculous myself. If there is not a polite way to avoid them, then I will go ahead with them and be grateful. (And thanks for the tips, @tricia560!) If there is a way to politely decline one, I will try to do so. Or if anyone forgets they offered/holidays get too busy, I will not say anything!
Under the circumstances, it's okay to accept them all, since they're such isolated and different groups.
I had 3, under similar circumstances.
--Main shower, thrown by girlfriends, guests were the usual suspects: relatives from both sides and my girlfriends.
--My mom had a little luncheon shower so she could invite her friends, since the main shower was not huge.
--DH's work does a shower for everyone.
My mom was the only one who attended more than one. I felt a little awkward about the whole thing, but refusing any of them would have been even more awkward, so I just tried to be the most gracious person I could possibly be.
I had three with my first and didn't think anything of it. I had one for my family, DHs family, and a small one at work. The only overlap were my mother and MIL and female siblings.
All of those sound like small groups, and as it is your first baby with no overlap I feel that it is perfectly fine to have multiple showers. No one actually expects your family from four hours away to travel to attend the shower your MIL is throwing, right?
From my point of view it sounds like maybe this is a case of overthinking and feeling too self conscious. I pray I have multiple showers some day, lol. My life groups are very similar and for my bridal shower they just combined all of them. It was fun and I felt very loved... but it was o so overwhelming and the sheer number of guests felt awkward and gift grabby to me. I wish I would have stood up for myself and got the guest list shortened. But I lived and I think I am the only one that remembers it now. Lol
I think it's fine. I had 4 showers for our little guy... All thrown by different groups (my family, his family, work and my friends). The only person that went to 3 out of the 4 showers was my Mom. Be thankful that you have so many people excited for you and your LO! Congrats!
Im in the same situation... the office one will make the 4th shower. Nothing wrong with it in my book. Congrats.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Waited a long time, tried a lot of stuff, science made me a mom.
Loss and IF veteran. Current mom of DS 5.5, DD 2, and sometimes DH 40. Due June 2021 with TWINS
What about inviting a friend that is a coworker to my work shower because she is my sorosity sister and then to my regular shower because it would feel weired if I left her out. I would tell her that he she does decide to come to more than one, she doesn't have to bring a gift to both?!?
Re: Potentially 4 Showers for our LO...
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Edited because hooked on Phoenics.
Congrats on your upcoming LO!
What would you suggest? Lumping all groups together? What if each group consists of 20 people making for a shower with 80 people which would IMO be more ridiculous.
From my point of view it sounds like maybe this is a case of overthinking and feeling too self conscious. I pray I have multiple showers some day, lol. My life groups are very similar and for my bridal shower they just combined all of them. It was fun and I felt very loved... but it was o so overwhelming and the sheer number of guests felt awkward and gift grabby to me. I wish I would have stood up for myself and got the guest list shortened. But I lived and I think I am the only one that remembers it now. Lol
Waited a long time, tried a lot of stuff, science made me a mom.