Pregnancy after loss

Morallory0410 · January 2015

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my fourth child(boy), whom we conceived 9 months after losing our first son (3rd child). My doctor is inducing me at 37 weeks to avoid hitting 39 weeks, which is where I was when I lost Roman to a cord accident. I knew these last few weeks would be hard, but not as hard as they've become. I was seen bi-weekly my entire pregnancy, and am now being seen twice a week with non-stress tests and biophysical ultrasounds when Rocky decides to sleep his way through the tests. These tests are beyond mentally exhausting and I'm constantly telling myself that it'll all be worth it come February 4th when I'm admitted to l&d. This morning after our test, my doctor shared that the baby flipped into a breech position. I feel like life is just slapping me in the face with losing Roman, the mental exhaustion with Rocky, and now facing the scare of having to have a c-section. I know babies are unpredictable and that he still has a few weeks left to flip back to being head down. I just feel like I should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel without any dark clouds looming over. Is anyone else going through this?

wirtlehm · January 2015

As this is my first pregnancy I cannot relate and have no advice to offer you but I did want to send you lots of creepy internet stranger hugs and T&Ps and everything else I can... I'm really sorry you're having a hard time right now.

Morallory0410 · January 2015

Thank you! ;-)

Nvywife · January 2015

Thoughts and prayers headed your way! Hopefully he decides to turn head down again. Fingers crossed for you! Big creepy internet hug! Deep breath it's all gonna be worth it. I will be having my csection on Feb 4! It's gonna be a good day!

natsgirl12 · January 2015

Thoughts and prayers!

While I have not endured anything even close to what you're describing, I was under heavy surveillance with my first pregnancy for the final 7 weeks. My fluid dropped to less than 3 and at 33 weeks they were preparing to deliver super early if necessary. It was very stressful. Fortunately I was able to increase and maintain my fluids around 6ish and held off delivery until 39 weeks (induced). But the weeks leading up to it were full of 2-3 days of NSTs and ultrasounds each week to endure everything was okay. It's hard to relax when you're constantly being evaluated. Compound that with your experience of loss and I have absolutely no idea how you remain calm and relaxed. I certainly feel for you. I'm sure you already are, but do try to relax and stay at ease. The doctors are monitoring you and would be able to detect potential issues (they're always checking cord blood flow and such on those ultrasounds). I pray that you carry to term and deliver a healthy baby boy. Best wishes!

schnitz9 · January 2015

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I too am a FTM with no personal experience. However my mother had 3 late term losses due to premature aging of the placenta. I remeber how hard it was for my parents to go through that. My sister was born about 18 months after my parents lost my little brother. My mom was induced at 35 weeks to avoid the issues she suffered before. She also went threw a grueling high risk pregnancy and in the end my sister flipped transverse and they needed to do a c-section. I can tell you this she always says it was worth it in the end and thanks god everyday for the 2 of us. Throughout my pregnancy my mom mom has been very open about her struggles and supported me. It seems as though the tests you have been having as stressful as they are, are coming with good results and he's safe in there. Just remember although he has flipped breech he is still safe. As scary as a c-section is right now remember he is healthy and good and in the end that is what matters. My mom actually joined a local loss support group and it helped her and to this day she is still friends with a few of the ladies 30 years later. Have you looked into one? There is also a loss group and PGAL group on TB as well that can help with the fears that you have. Good luck and praying little guys stays safe.

Morallory0410 · January 2015

Thank you all for the kind words! I feel guilty for stressing the way I do, as I swore I wouldn't complain during this pregnancy, prior to conceiving. I feel like I'm running myself into ground with still working 40 hours a week, still raising 2 girls (10 and 4), and the normal daily "mom" chores ;-) I'm blessed to have such caring and amazing doctors who swear they don't think I'm crazy! The day to day battle is rough and feeling more and more overwhelming. This little boy is going to have so many stories once he's here!

junebugjam · January 2015

I'm so sorry for the loss of Roman. I lost my daughter at 22 weeks, and while they were entirely different circumstances than your loss, I completely understand how scary this all feels. Try to take solace in the wonderful monitoring you're getting and remember that while a c section might not be what you want, a healthy baby is really the most important thing. I wish you luck in the weeks to come.

nohalo21 · January 2015

I lost my second daughter at 18w due to a chromosomal abnormality. This whole pregnancy I had such anxiety because that fear became a reality for me. I do go through the biweekly NSTs, but my doc assured me a non reactive test means nothing but sleepy baby to ease my fears. She also likes to flip but I'm okay with the csection. Anyway she gets here is okay by me, just safe is all I care about

I know it's easier said than done not to worry, especially after all that you been through. Your docs are looking out for you. Just try to take some time for you (which is always hard to do).

Morallory0410 · January 2015

I was lucky to stumble upon a fabulous support group within a month after losing Roman. They've helped with coping and I've thrown myself into raising money for their yearly walks that they hold in memory of all the babies lost. I appreciated all the kind words and thank you all for listening to my fears and concerns. Obviously a healthy baby is the focus, but with what we went through with an unexpected loss, Rocky flipping this late scares me even more because of the cord.

jmcgra06 · January 2015

I am so sorry for your loss! You sound like an amazingly strong woman and mama. It really sounds like your doctor is doing a great job, and I hope February 4th comes quickly for you!

twinklymama · January 2015

Sending prayers up for a healthy pregnancy and delivery of a healthy baby!

sjh0730 · January 2015

I am delurking to send you all the hugs I can muster. We lost our youngest son in Oct 2013 and were really unsure about having more when Surprise! The two of us seem to be following the same path. I just wanted to wish you good luck and love.

Morallory0410 · January 2015

Sjh0730 I'm very happy to hear your news! We lost Roman August 23, 2013. Immediately I knew I couldn't have another but after a few weeks I just knew I had to try again. I felt like I owed not only myself the joy of another baby, but more so my girls. Congratulations to you as well as lots of love and prayers from me, here in Pennsylvania!

SarahB0427 · January 2015

I have not been in your situation however I have a few friends who have. All three of them went on to have beautiful healthy babies even though they were stressed the entire time. My friend runs blankets for brianna that provides blankets to nicu babies and mom's that have lost their babies. I know Rocky will be born healthy but I understand your pain and stress leading up to it. My thoughts and prayers are with you

tropicbreeze · January 2015

No advice, but lots of T&P's coming your way.

Morallory0410 · January 2015

Had a normal prescheduled ultrasound this morning. Rocky is head down, so I'm not sure if he flipped or the doctor could've been wrong yesterday? Either way my focus at this point is the focus of his cord to make sure we avoid the outcome of Roman. In the end, all we want is a healthy little one! Thank you all once again for the kind words and love!

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