DH fainting?

kaytediane83 · January 2015

Hello Ladies,

I'm a FTM and after today's birthing class am worried about my husband passing out during labor. I already knew he didn't like hospitals, and my in-laws were just calling him a "fainting goat" yesterday. We weren't really worried about it, but today while watching a video about epidurals and births he broke out in a crazy sweat and had to put his head down. It took him at least 8 minutes to feel normal again. I'm just a bit anxious thinking maybe he won't be able to complete the birthing process with me.

I'm curious how other moms and dads to be have handled this concern, and would love to hear success stories about keeping those dads on their feet.

Thanks ladies.

specialsn0wflake · January 2015

My H isn't sqiumish in the slightest, luckily. So no advice, but stuff like eating healthy snacks to keep his blood pressure up, sitting down if he feels he needs to, taking a break and stepping away if needed seems like some obvious solutions. Perhaps ask your doctor, I would guess she's seen a lot in her time and would have some valuable insight.

Swanigam · January 2015

Yeah my DH passed out for our first. He was holding one of my legs. I pulled a muscle when he dropped it and couldn't walk well for a few weeks after delivery!

He knows he's not allowed to watch anything and he just gets to sit by my head this time. No helping!

janexo221 · January 2015

My H is the same, they asked him if he will be cutting the cord at our baby class at the hospital, and he had this look on his face... so.. I dont know what to think either! No advice, I am kinda in the same boat. It pissed me off at first, all that stuff is happening to me, he has it easy!

miahbelle · January 2015

My DH isn't squeamish exactly, but the idea of it wasn't something he was really into watching. He changed when it came to the actual birth, maybe your husband will? Other than that, maybe he could speak with your OB about what all he could do to help remain calm.

Scarlettg · January 2015

My DH is totally squeamish; he can't even clean up after the dog when he gets sick on the carpet. I left his involvement in labor totally up to him- he can be there or not, he can do as much or as little as he wants. He's decided that he'll be there, but he's not going below my shoulders and he's not cutting the cord. Frankly, I'm totally good with this because I don't want him to see all that anyway. Maybe see what your DH is comfortable with and go from there?

kaytediane83 · January 2015

Thanks all. It's funny because he's not usually squeamish, but today told me something is up. If I have an epidural, definitely kicking him out for that process. I also was thinking his focal point is my lovely face, even if I wasn't worried about fainting, I'm happy with him staying above the waist!

He and I are going to revisit the topic on a week or so, once we've both processed everything. I'll bring it up with my OB too. I'm thankful my mom will also be in L&D, so I'm not worried about ending up alone. I just am excited to share this process with him. I agree, once it's happening, he'll probably be fine.

SeekingSmall · January 2015

My husband is so not squeamish....he caught our first daughter and has said he'd like to either get to again with these twins, or be at the other end for a c-section to see them born (rather than by me). But I do know my midwives talked about how some dads prefer sitting up by your head, not having to see much. I think in the end it doesn't make him any "less than" so he just needs to choose where he's most comfortable while still being able to support you.

littlemissluc · January 2015

In Europe it is much less common for women to have any sort of company during labor(except medical professionals) and it is all basically a matter of your own choice. So in my case, I chose not to have DH in my delivery room just because he is so not the type of person to be there. He faints every time he sees blood and is absolutely terrified by everything that looks bloody and messy. He knows how delivery looks like and I made him watch a video which made him throw up right after it was finished. So I really believe that he would only make me more nervous and anxious. Plus I am the type of person that likes to deal with pain on her own and I 'hate' side support during that period where I have to be fully concentrated and deal with enormous amounts of pain and pressure. He will be waiting outside and once it's all done he'll come and see the baby.

karboss · January 2015

When I was at my 20w appointment, my DH was in the room when they gave me a flu shot. He turned white as a ghost! We are in for some problems. The nurse said he was a north of the equator kinda guy and that many dads are. I hope he makes it through without fainting or throwing up!

littlewest1 · January 2015

My husband has a VERY weak stomach and didn't do so well during the L&D classes either. He did fine during my actual labor and delivery and did not faint. I don't think he was having the best time but he pulled it together and did what he needed to do to make it through. He did not cut the cord though.

knjzacher · January 2015

"Fainting goat" made me lol.

Just keep him up by your head and tell him to make sure there is a chair close by in case he feels faint. My DH will get all wobbly for his own stuff like bloodwork and IVs but luckily other peoples blood and vom and so on doesn't phase him. Good luck!

emarsh0415 · January 2015

My BIL has always passes out at the very first sign of blood (we're talking, a papercut makes him nervous) so my sister was super anxious about him in L&D. But he stayed by her head and held her hand and said that he never once felt like he was going to pass out, that the excitement of his baby being born outweighed everything else. He was kneeling by the bed and had a chair close by just in case.

It ended up being my mom, who's been through 3 rather traumatic deliveries herself that came really close to passing out!

jmhansen11 · January 2015

Does he want to be in the room? Maybe he should start reading some books with good birth descriptions/pictures and keep watching those videos so he can try to desensitize a bit!

bears0928 · January 2015

At our birthing class, the mw made a great suggestion with regards to squeamish partners. She suggested writing that into your birth plan. That way, anyone familiar with your plan (ideally all the docs, nurses, etc. that you will be interacting with) can be sensitive to it. If they all know in advance, they won't suggest your partner look at or do anything that might negatively impact him. They can also watch out for what details they share out loud (such as amounts of blood, discharge, etc.). Hope this helps!

HZ2012 · January 2015

I have no advice. But just wanted to say that if I weren't the one having the baby, I'd probably be just like your DH, so I can commiserate! Lol
But seriously, hope he gets through it without fainting

travelnut11 · January 2015

So I have a dumb question: what's the big deal about the epidural? Eg. why do they make people leave the room? Clearly I've never had one but it doesn't sound so bad. Maybe I'm missing something?

Unknown · January 2015

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Scarlettg · January 2015

@travelnut11 not only is it a big needle like PP said, but also I think if they do it wrong (i. e. get distracted by someone fainting) it can have disastrous effects. I don't think it would bother me to watch someone get it, but I'd just as soon be sure the anesthesiologist is focused 100% on what s/he is doing instead of worrying about the reactions of someone else in the room.

beaglebaseballmom · January 2015

I'm leaving the hubs in the waiting room and taking my bff of 15 years in there with me. Hubs has a weak stomach but I just really don't think my husband needs to see my precious parts all disgusting. I want him to think of them as pretty! Most people I tell cannot believe I don't want him in there but it's my delivery and my marriage!

epidemic · January 2015

bears0928 That's a really good point and piece of advice I hadn't considered. Def going to make a note in our birth plan that he's good to look/not look or cut/not cut - no pressuring him!

My DH is on the squeamish side and doesn't want to look or cut the cord. He's already gotten some heckling by people who seem 'surprised' by this, but it really doesn't bother me if he's not comfortable with it. Let's face it..that would be hard to 'unsee'. ;-)

angelike81 · January 2015

My husband is the same way. For the birth of his second child his now ex wife let him sit in the waiting area. I on the other hand will not let him sit it out in the waiting room but I do plan on having him sit next to me during delivery that way he doesn't hit the floor and if he does at least it's from a sitting position

SunnyBeachBum · January 2015

My husband is such a macho dude, until it comes to blood.... Forget about it, he will pass out at the sight of blood. He almost faints every time he has to give blood. I told him to just stay near my head and don't look "down there". He is just fine with that, bc I don't need to lose him at that critical time !

kaytediane83 · January 2015

It's nice to hear your success stories and advice. I'm so hopeful that with some accommodations he'll be just fine. We'll add a note to our plan, and make sure he's got a job (keeping me sane) to focus on. Best of luck ladies!

jodihardin11 · January 2015

My DH is extremely squeamish too so he already made it very clear that he would stay by my head facing away from all the mess! I am still worried about him fainting but hoping the adrenaline of having our first baby helps him through it

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