Seeing red

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

DD just came down and told me Aunt B (SIL) told her "don't ever ask for a sister or brother". I'm gonna throat punch her!

I get that her children are out of control and she can't handle them but WTF is she doing telling MY kid that? I heard her say it once and I was pissed but blew it off. Now DD tells me she said it again when I wasn't around and she's repeating it! They don't know we are TTC but still.

Holy shit am I gonna have some words to say to DH when he gets home from work. I'm so pissed right now... it's all I can do not to pick up the phone.

ramaholic · January 2015

That is seriously fucked. You're a better woman than I, Spartan.

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

Drinking wine...

DH just called and I screamed. He said he would back me if I did pick up the phone. Shit isn't too good with that branch right now and I don't think I need to be saying what I really want to say. So pissed

traversity773 · January 2015

I'd be saying some shit. You are better than I.

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

amq427 said:
As someone whose had issues with in-laws on occasion, I wouldn't be able to keep quiet.

All you need to say is something along the lines of "how dare you!? You have no place making comments like that to my child, EVER."

It would make you feel so much better.

I'm a bad influence though...

------
You are but you're also right.

We have had issues before especially because she says whatever the hell she wants to and other people be dammed. I think I will at least wait for DH to get home. I'm sitting in the playroom drinking wine and playing horses right now. It's helping.. sorta

3houlagirl · January 2015

That is just so weird to say to your daughter.

If it were my SIL there would be words, I promise you. Those words would be " you are no longer allowed around my child alone"; but my SILs are seriously messed up individuals...

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

You've all convinced me - screw trying to keep the peace - when DH comes home I'm calling her because she had no right. Granted we don't see her often but she needs to know it won't happen again.

I asked DD what she said in reply and she told me she said "ok. I listened to her" that's what she told me... "I listened to her". I told her she's doesn't have to and she told me she would like a sister or brother. I had to walk through all the 'It's ok either way' stuff. We haven't even had the sibling conversation with her.

I've decided I will call her, tell her I have one thing to say to her and then I will hang up before I say something I shouldn't, say what I need to and be done. But you are correct. .. I need to say something! Still fuming

NEgirl824 · January 2015

this is how it makes me feel

3houlagirl · January 2015

@SpartanChick88‌ I am so sorry you're dealing with IL drama. It's awful, I know.

sister13 · January 2015

This couldn't wait a few hours for Bitchfest Monday?

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

sister13 said:
This couldn't wait a few hours for Bitchfest Monday?

--------
So pissed I didn't even think about it

carolinagirl67 · January 2015

I would be very upset as well. I'm sorry this happened to you. We have IL drama too so I understand.

thewickedfairy · January 2015

We have issues with my SIL also. Even H can't stand her. I would definitely be saying something. I'd be interested in what her response is.

MrsJenE · January 2015

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That's insane!

Is there a background to this? Did this just come out of the blue? Why would she say this? I'm pretty new so maybe you've talked about your ILs before.

saveourship · January 2015

Yeah, I would say something. That is not ok.

Sorry you have to deal with this.

TKO86 · January 2015

That's awful Spartan... Like, who does that? I would have an issue for sure. I am sorry for you to have to deal with unnecessary drama

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

rayschicky · January 2015

That's super shitty Spartan. I am not side-eyeing you at all for posting this now vs. tomorrow. I get needing to vent. I hope you accomplish what you need to when you call

WestIsleFlower · January 2015

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. IL drama isn't fun at all. She sounds like a shit-stirrer.

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

MrsJenE said:
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That's insane!

Is there a background to this? Did this just come out of the blue? Why would she say this? I'm pretty new so maybe you've talked about your ILs before.

---------
I haven't. There were issues with MIL years ago but that's been all ironed out. SIL has issues of some sort - something is going on but we don't know what. There's been all sorts of drama between them and MIL and FIL. We live about 500 miles from all of them so we don't have to deal with much. SIL has three kids and each presents their own challenge. The youngest I often want to put through a wall - he's obnoxious. But none of that gives her the right to say anything to my daughter.

GypsySoul1112 · January 2015

Why the FUCK would she say that?!?!?! I would drive over there myself and throat punch her for you. Wow.

icaughtfire · January 2015

Am I broken? This isn't something I'd be "seeing red" over. I get that it's an odd thing to tell your kid, and I'd call up SIL & be like "What's the deal with the comments?" but I certainly wouldn't be flying into a rage about it.

sister13 · January 2015

icaughtfire said:

Am I broken? This isn't something I'd be "seeing red" over. I get that it's an odd thing to tell your kid, and I'd call up SIL & be like "What's the deal with the comments?" but I certainly wouldn't be flying into a rage about it.

No, you are not broken.

asoneill · January 2015

Wow, that is crazy inappropriate. Don't blame you at all for being angry, and glad your H is backing you.

pambeeslyhalpert · January 2015

I think you definitely need to say something, but make sure you are calm and know exactly what you want to say.

If you let the anger (which I totally understand) control you, you might get your words and thoughts tangled and end up arguing and fighting, and not getting your point across.

Call her, say "I need to tell you something, and please don't reply to it. DD is MY daughter and you you re not allowed to say things like that to her. Period" (or something along those lines).

Good luck and don't forget to give us an update.

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

It is my SIL... she says shit all the time and doesn't care. Something similar happened last year... and the year before that BUT, this time it involves my kid. That's why I'm so furious. To have my child repeat that to me...

I've basically been told by my IL's and my H that I can do what I need to do but in doing so I will risk my daughter's relationship with her cousins. Nothing like a rock and a hard place. That bitch will NEVER be alone in a room with DD again. Ever. I will sleep on it and see where I am in the morning

Edit - that was directed to @icaughtfire‌ ... There ‌is a legit reason for the rage

MrsJenE · January 2015

SpartanChick88 said:

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. That's insane! Is there a background to this? Did this just come out of the blue? Why would she say this? I'm pretty new so maybe you've talked about your ILs before.
--------- I haven't. There were issues with MIL years ago but that's been all ironed out. SIL has issues of some sort - something is going on but we don't know what. There's been all sorts of drama between them and MIL and FIL. We live about 500 miles from all of them so we don't have to deal with much. SIL has three kids and each presents their own challenge. The youngest I often want to put through a wall - he's obnoxious. But none of that gives her the right to say anything to my daughter.

Then I guess it just boggles my mind why anyone would say something like that to a child. BIZARRE.

Kalidawn523 · January 2015

I'm having SIL probs too. :-/ My SIL is single without children, 4 yrs older than me and she seems to take offense that MH and I are married and TTC. Recently BIL began a serious relationship and my SIL is now in a deep depression bc she feels she's going to be alone forever. So she says stupid shit all the time without thinking. We chose not to tell her about our recent pregnancy for that reason and during Christmas she told me "I'd take a miscarriage right about now. At least it would mean I was in the game. I'm not even in the game at this point" I pretty much helped pack her stuff up. Then of course my MIL told her about our news and when we miscarried we got the "I'm so sorry for your loss" texts. I haven't spoken to my inlaws in a couple weeks but they all want to sit down for a talk. It's gonna be hard.

I hope you find the right words. It's so hard when you are worked up and angry.

sister13 · January 2015

SpartanChick88 said:

It is my SIL... she says shit all the time and doesn't care. Something similar happened last year... and the year before that BUT, this time it involves my kid. That's why I'm so furious. To have my child repeat that to me... I've basically been told by my IL's and my H that I can do what I need to do but in doing so I will risk my daughter's relationship with her cousins. Nothing like a rock and a hard place. That bitch will NEVER be alone in a room with DD again. Ever. I will sleep on it and see where I am in the morning Edit - that was directed to @icaughtfire‌ ... There ‌is a legit reason for the rage

Look, I think that you can't stand your SIL so you are going to be pissed no matter what. All you can control is how you react if she is known to say inflammatory things.

My issue with your post is that it is just a whiny vent. You didn't even ask for advice. You just complained. That's why I suggested it could have waited for Monday Bitchfest, which is a better venue for whiny vents. Any newb would have gotten flamed for this.

But, you did get a lot of squees.

icaughtfire · January 2015

SpartanChick88 said:
It is my SIL... she says shit all the time and doesn't care. Something similar happened last year... and the year before that BUT, this time it involves my kid. That's why I'm so furious. To have my child repeat that to me...

I've basically been told by my IL's and my H that I can do what I need to do but in doing so I will risk my daughter's relationship with her cousins. Nothing like a rock and a hard place. That bitch will NEVER be alone in a room with DD again. Ever. I will sleep on it and see where I am in the morning

Edit - that was directed to @icaughtfire‌ ... There ‌is a legit reason for the rage

Yeah..I'm still not seeing the reason for the rage & dramatics. To each their own I guess.

SpartanChick88 · January 2015

@Kalidawn523‌ I'm sorry you had to deal with that! Why do people think it's ok to just blurt out whatever stupid shit pops into their head??

thechickencoop · January 2015

teenybenoit · January 2015

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, I think you have a right to call her and tell her how it made you feel and that she had no right to say what she did.
People can be so ignorant and not realize the damage they cause.
If this was the first time I could see letting it go but being as this is not the first time you got the right to tell her to eff off.
Hugs.

AMMR84 · January 2015

I had some family drama over Christmas that I was just crazy over. But you have to realize that you just cannot control people. Their shit has nothing to do with you. Have you heard the saying "the best revenge is living well"? Your SIL clearly has some issues with her own children and is trying to bring her drama into your family bubble. Not okay. And if you are ever in person and it comes up again, call her on it. But you can also prove her wrong by just being a great mother, concerned with your own business, just living your life, not being a dramatic mess like she is. (This is the pep talk I have had to give myself plenty of times. My therapist would be so proud right now.)

danascullyx · January 2015

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well, I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

Unknown · January 2015

This content has been removed.

Want a personalized experience?

Seeing red

Re: Seeing red

Choose Another Board

Search Boards