A suggestion to help remember the Angel babies...

ejz98ric02 · January 2015

With the recent news of Max passing, it had me thinking of a way to remember him and ALL of the angel babies we have lost during our time together. March 15 has a memory board that is stickied. It is used to celebrate those lives and as a moment of silence.

With all the sadness that has been going on, perhaps this might be a good idea? There wouldn't need to be arguments over the proper amount of time needed to grieve before posting a new thread. There would be a place for us to go and show out respects.

If I am way off base, I'm sorry. I think March 15 got it right.

aly&jj · January 2015

I am new here, and don't know the moms who have lost their babies, but it broke my heart to read about Max. As a mom who has had 3 loses before having my first child, I think this is a great idea.

Shadeauxe · January 2015

I think this is very common in a lot of birth clubs and I think it's a nice gesture.

ejz98ric02 · January 2015

I wish the mods would comment. This thread is falling to the bottom of the list, and it shouldn't.

ejz98ric02 · January 2015

Thanks @souptin‌ ! I have been on here a long long time and never looked /knew there was a blog.

I still think a sticky would be best.

jk3610 · January 2015

ejz98ric02 said:
Thanks @souptin‌ ! I have been on here a long long time and never looked /knew there was a blog.

I still think a sticky would be best.

It references the blog in the new to a15 sticky i believe, but i could be wrong.

OliveMom3 · January 2015

I think this is a good idea. I also wasn't aware there was a blog.

donnamartingraduates93 · January 2015

jk3610 said:

ejz98ric02 said:
Thanks @souptin‌ ! I have been on here a long long time and never looked /knew there was a blog.

I still think a sticky would be best.
It references the blog in the new to a15 sticky i believe, but i could be wrong.

You are not wrong. It's in there

donnamartingraduates93 · January 2015

https://april15mamas.wordpress.com/angel-babies/

jk3610 · January 2015

qwanda2013 said:

ejz98ric02 said:
I wish the mods would comment. This thread is falling to the bottom of the list, and it shouldn't.
Please be mindful that our mods are entitled to time away from the board. Both of our mods are more than empathetic towards the loss of Max.

I would participate in a moment of silence for our angels. These losses are heartbreaking.

Agreed. They have stuff going on outside of the board and it's unfair to expect them to be on 24/7. I'm sure next time one of them logs on they will be supportive of stucas and those grieving.

fatcat11188 · January 2015

I think it is a great idea. Thank you for suggesting it.

donnamartingraduates93 · January 2015

CaterinaC said:

donnamartingraduates93 said:
https://april15mamas.wordpress.com/angel-babies/
The list hadn't been updated since September.

I saw that as well. I was posting because someone had asked if anyone kept track. One had been started, so it we wanted to sticky, we could use this since it ready includes the earlier losses.

catlover790 · January 2015

I just checked the one from M15 and I think it is a nice idea. I am one who doesn't post a lot but do think about the ladies here a lot and I think it would be nice.

keifekm · January 2015

We have a listing of losses on the weekly IVF discussion but I think it only includes those that participated there. I know there have been many more outside of this group.

jk3610 · January 2015

BananaBoat05 said:

klingspwn said:

BananaBoat05 said:
I'm glad the early losses were remembered on the blog. Hopefully it can be updated with our more current losses since September.

As to the sticky thread, I think it shows a great amount of support for our loss moms. Many of them will come back and check on us, especially as due dates approach. It means a lot to see the angels continuing to be remembered. On S'14 (my most recent loss BMB) there is also a link to march of dimes and a place for women to show support.

It saddens me that there would even be a debate on this, but I recognize that the culture of each board is different. However, I am disappointed that this thread's comments have such a negative tone.
If you are talking about my comment about not liking stickies, that's just a personal preference. I did say that I am perfectly okay with having one if that's what's decided. I didn't see any other negative comments, but I understand that some of us are more sensitive about things like this than others so you could see something as negative when I don't and that is totally fine.
Re reading my comment, it does sound like I was just referring to you, but I wasn't. I'm sorry it came across that way. The comments about the mods needing their own time and your post just seemed to distract from the original suggestion by OP, and I envisioned it becoming a more negative post than it was intended.

Hey i think a stickie is a great idea! I was just referencing the comment about why the mods haven't commented on this already. Like i said, we're all heartbroken over this. They just might not have been able to check in as much yet and they should 't be faulted for it.

missab · January 2015

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I am not in favor of a sticky. I am heartbroken about Max and am always one to offer thoughts and prayers here on A15, as well as other boards. However, as a FTM who has previously suffered a miscarriage, I also know how hard it can be at times to push the constant fear of loss from my mind and I would prefer not to be constantly reminded of it every single time I open this page.

I think having a list of the little ones we have lost that lives on the blog or elsewhere is a lovely tribute. I would also welcome a moment of silence. But for those moms who are struggling to believe that extreme complications are exceptions not the norm, or who are simply trying to stay positive (not fearful) about their ability to have an uneventful birth, I will say the selfish thing: we don't need this in our face Every. Single. Day. Everyone mourns and remembers in their own way and should be allowed to do so; I hope we can find a less intrusive way to memorialize those who have been lost.

jk3610 · January 2015

Hugs @missab‌!

missab · January 2015

Thanks @jk3610‌ >:D<

missab · January 2015

To be clear, I am 1000% in favor of establishing a place and way to memorialize the lost babies. But, the same way most of us might travel to go to a graveyard as the place to find a memorial for a loved one as opposed to setting up a shrine that we see every morning when we open our eyes, I just think there's a way and place for it to be done, I guess.

And if I am in the minority here, I will find that completely understandable and will just know not to come here when I don't want to see the thread. Fortunately, my big girl pants fit just fine.

ejz98ric02 · January 2015

Thank you to all of you who understood my mod comment. Sometimes threads get "lost" on here when certain members or mods don't comment on them, that was my intention of the comment. I certainly understand that everyone is allowed time away from the board and is not expected to be present 24/7.

Perhaps there should be a vote? Seems like there are members who are in favor of a sticky and others who are not, which is understandable.

My purpose in the suggestion was simply to have a place, front and center---not hidden in a link inside of a sticky--on a blog that is not currently updated. I say that because, I for one, never visit the "If you're new to A15" sticky, since I'm not new. Like many PP, I would have never looked there for this specific topic.

I would just like every child and mother/family to be remembered on A15, that's all. Sometimes my words don't come across like I want them to. Thanks for listening.

specialsn0wflake · January 2015

missab said:

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I am not in favor of a sticky. I am heartbroken about Max and am always one to offer thoughts and prayers here on A15, as well as other boards. However, as a FTM who has previously suffered a miscarriage, I also know how hard it can be at times to push the constant fear of loss from my mind and I would prefer not to be constantly reminded of it every single time I open this page. I think having a list of the little ones we have lost that lives on the blog or elsewhere is a lovely tribute. I would also welcome a moment of silence. But for those moms who are struggling to believe that extreme complications are exceptions not the norm, or who are simply trying to stay positive (not fearful) about their ability to have an uneventful birth, I will say the selfish thing: we don't need this in our face Every. Single. Day. Everyone mourns and remembers in their own way and should be allowed to do so; I hope we can find a less intrusive way to memorialize those who have been lost.

I agree 100%. Having losses be the first thing I see when I come here would be devastating. I already have had to take a break from reading loss posts and threads about hospital trips because it reminds me of my own loss and it's just too much right now.

I would be more than happy with a memorial on the blog, or something else as a memorial just not a sticky. It's a sweet gesture, but also a painful reminder for some.

starshollow · January 2015

My last BMB had a badge that many people chose to include in their signatures that was a simple "remembering our April Angels" with a blue and pink footprint to symbolize all of the little boys and girls lost.

Just throwing that out there.

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