Can I just bitch for a second? Pregnancy mentioned-not mine

blsav23 · January 2015

So, I am an RN on a busy medical-surgical floor and I am surrounded by pregnant people. A ton of my coworkers are pregnant & while I'm happy for them, I really need them to tone down the "my feet are so swollen today", "I need to drink more water for my little skittle" and, "I can't take that patient bc I am pregnant and they are in isolation". To make matters worse, every time a baby is born in the hospital, Brahms lullaby plays over the loudspeaker for the whole place to hear.
As much as I hate it, I've learned to deal with aforementioned. But today was a new low--I had a seven week pregnant patient. She was very nice but it was frustrating to take her narcotics (both oral and IV) every time she felt a little pain. I knew the day would come where I have to care for a pregnant patient but man, was it a mental tough test. I put on my most professional face and did my job as best as I could. I also worked really hard to treat her with utmost dignity and respect. Does anyone else find themselves in an ethical bind in their journey to conceive?
Maybe it's the stress of the TWW, or maybe I've got my breaking point but thank god I got to leave work four hours early. Rant over

supermorena · January 2015

You're allowed to complain! IF is the bitch.... it's tough enough to deal with everything, but even more so when you're faced with those triggers on a daily basis.
I had a rough time at work when half my coworkers were pregnant at any given time. Seriously as soon as 1 gave birth, another announced they were expecting. And since most of us got married at about the same time, I constantly heard "there must be something in the water, you're next!" Nope...now they've started lapping me. Ugh. Plus it's a low-income school so all the families have tons of little ones that they often can't care for when hubby and I can't have 1 and we both have jobs, we own a home, and have a stable relationship. I stay professional when they share their tough situations, but I can't help but be bitter.
Hang in there!

blsav23 · January 2015

supermorena said:
You're allowed to complain! IF is the bitch.... it's tough enough to deal with everything, but even more so when you're faced with those triggers on a daily basis.
I had a rough time at work when half my coworkers were pregnant at any given time. Seriously as soon as 1 gave birth, another announced they were expecting. And since most of us got married at about the same time, I constantly heard "there must be something in the water, you're next!" Nope...now they've started lapping me. Ugh. Plus it's a low-income school so all the families have tons of little ones that they often can't care for when hubby and I can't have 1 and we both have jobs, we own a home, and have a stable relationship. I stay professional when they share their tough situations, but I can't help but be bitter.
Hang in there!

Thanks so much for your support! I can only imagine dealing with people who have more kids than they can care for. It's so frustrating that fertility comes so easily to people; although, I also try to remember that IF isn't a personal attacking on me. It's just the hand j was dealt and thank heavens for modern medicine!
Thanks again for your reply, it cheered me up

Ann612 · January 2015

First of all, I am little bit in awe of you right now. If I had to hear Brahms lullaby every time a baby was born at work I would probably literally lose my shit. The fact that you are only now feeling this way due to a patient is incredible. Bitch away, that is insane to have to watch and keep your mouth shut.

kef21287 · January 2015

I also work in a hospital (I am a hospital pharmacist) and they play the Brahms lullaby overhead when a baby is born too. I didn't realize that other hospitals did that too. Luckily they don't play it very loud so it makes it easier to tune it out.

The hardest thing I have to deal with at work infertility-wise is when I do patient rounds on the pediatric floor. We only have a small pediatric wing so the kids usually only have minor illnesses but we do get a lot of babies and toddlers. 2 weeks ago I went in to the room of a 8 month old patient to see if the family had any medication questions and the mother was breastfeeding the little boy. When I came in, he turned his head and smiled at me- that just about broke my heart.

So I feel your pain and feel free to bitch and rant away here!

wanderlust508 · January 2015

@kef21287 - I'm a hospital pharmacist too! And they also play Brahms lullaby overhead when a baby is born at our hospital too! I'd swear we all work at the same place. I remember tearing up at work the first time I heard it when I was rounding with the pain management team and I had just completed my 1st failed IUI cycle.

@blsav23 - I'm in awe of all that nurses do as it is. But to put your IF related feelings aside and care for your patient in that situation must have been so difficult. (((Hugs))). I too hate the "there must be something in the water" comment that @supermorena mentioned.... got it so often last year when one by one our pharmacists and technicians were all getting KU.

bumpuser5823822 · January 2015

Ditto!! I also am a nurse on a med-surg floor and I am literally the only person on my floor of childbearing age (who didn't have a baby in the last year) who isn't pregnant. I'm not even kidding. Its an epidemic. Now even them one of the two men I work with knocked his wife up. Ugh. Some days are brutal.

Lthompson0525 · January 2015

I totally feel your pain! I too am a nurse and have a lot if pregnant coworkers and friends. It's hard because they all want to "talk baby stuff" all day and I have to try to keep a smile on my face and not start crying or get upset. You are not alone! Feel free to bitch and complain as much as you want. IF sucks!

babeRN101 · January 2015

I feel ya girl 100%. I'm a L&D RN so I hear the lullabies and hold the leg as the mom-to-be is pushing her lil peanut out (quite a visual, I know).
Everyday is a challenge and I force myself to believe I am stronger with every passing day because of it.
I also try and take comfort that one day they will be playing the lullaby song for me!!
It's exceptionally harder when my patients never wanted the babies to begin with or are addicted to drugs. Part of the job that we deal with. I try not to think about it too much or else I would have to change professions!
Stay strong!

MARISAV77 · January 2015

I feel your pain! I also am a L&D nurse and After almost 2 years of trying to conceive I am seriously looking for another nursing job. I love delivering babies, but it's been SO HARD working with all these women while trying to conceive my own. The last 6 months seem to be the worst. And then I have 2 coworkers who are pregnant and they complain about their pregnancy all the time. I think working on an L&D floor is probably the worst place to work when going through infertility!

AngM123 · January 2015

Omg I thought my hospital was the only one to play the damn lullaby. This just started at my hospital the last 4 months. I've Thought about writing the president of the hospital. It has brought me tears numerous days. I work in psych, so I deal with women who have been cracked out on meth and heroin for their entire pregnancy, or women who are mentally ill and delusional and want to kill their unborn baby. If it's not that, then all their kids are in dhs custody. I HATE my job.

BandM14 · January 2015

Lots of props to you ladies who have to deal with Brahms lullaby playing at work... That would be so tough. I totally understand dealing with pregnant women at work, especially unwanted pregnancies/addictions. I'm an addictions counselor at an outpatient chemical dependency program, and I have three clients right now who are pregnant, one who's girlfriend (also an addict) just gave birth to their second "oops" baby, and a woman who just gave birth. I also have clients who have multiple children that were all accidental pregnancies and above all of this I have to stomach the fact that many of them use/used through their pregnancies. It's such a struggle and honestly makes me so angry sometimes that it is hard to do my job. So I feel you, and you are totally justified in bitching as much as you want about this. IF is so unfair.

Remylove1011 · January 2015

Ugh, lots of props to you ladies dealing with music playing at work each time a baby is born. I'm a clinical social worker in an early intervention program (all the kids I see are birth-age three) and work specifically with the families that have involvement with the department of social services by doing assessments and providing family counseling. I've recently had to discuss struggling with being around little kids and pregnant mothers during supervision as I'm having a lot of anger about it. I recently saw a family at a homeless shelter with 4 children (5, 4, 3, 2) and the mother was pregnant with her fifth child. The children are neglected and all are already suffering from mental health issues. It's so hard to not be pissed about all of it.

Just want to say that you are not alone in your struggles and IF is a bitch. In spite of us being ready for a baby (both emotionally and financially) we can't seem to make it happen. You are not alone here. {{HUGS}}

blsav23 · January 2015

Thanks, everyone, for your shared stories & words of encouragement. Although I hate you all are going through this too, it is comforting to not be alone. I think the worst part is the lullaby. One day, it literally went off five times in a row. When I rolled my eyes, the OT sitting by me said, "oh they have four other children and each wanted to push the button". I about lost it.
It seems as though many of you experience similar challenges in your respective fields (and MAJOR props to the L&D nurses---I can't even imagine). Thanks for sharing your stories & giving me a safe haven to vent after a tough day!!

blsav23 · January 2015

AngM123 said:
Omg I thought my hospital was the only one to play the damn lullaby. This just started at my hospital the last 4 months. I've Thought about writing the president of the hospital. It has brought me tears numerous days. I work in psych, so I deal with women who have been cracked out on meth and heroin for their entire pregnancy, or women who are mentally ill and delusional and want to kill their unborn baby. If it's not that, then all their kids are in dhs custody. I HATE my job.

Writing the president of the hospital isn't a bad idea. If we are suffering with IF, I wonder how many are silently?? I doubt the parents of the recently born would miss the lullaby that much. I mean, who is it meant for anyway? I doubt when/if the day comes that I give birth to a beautiful baby, I'll care much about the lullaby over the loudspeaker.

Lbear94 · January 2015

You are completely justified in feeling this way.. Playing it over the whole speaker system seems pretty insincere especially in a hospital. Not only for those suffering with IF but also for other people who have recently lost a young one or are in the hospital with a sick child. Seems rude to me !

LoveActually55 · January 2015

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